Star Crossed: Forbidden [larry]

Chapter IX: Fear

The sun shines brightly down on the field of daisies that I sit in. I am not alone though. The sun lights up his ever so blue eyes as he looks at me fondly. Our hands are linked together by our fingers, letting sparks light between them. We both laugh at some joke that Louis had just made, grinning from ear to ear at each other. Love is in the air. I lay my head on his shoulder and he kisses my forehead. I stare into his eyes that I had grown to love.

“I really like you, Lou, I think I’m falling in love with you,” I tell him suddenly. He smiles at me, the same smile that could light up the dark and end wars. He kisses my forehead.

 “I..” he then kisses my nose.

“Love..” Next he kisses each of my cheeks causing them to blush red.

“You too,” he whispers against my lips, making them quiver from want. He then places his lips on mine. This kiss is different from any other kiss I’ve shared. There’s sparks between us and I can feel the world around me stop when our lips meet. The kiss is passionate but not full of lust. Just by his kiss I can tell he loves me. And I was falling in love with him as well.

I shot up once again from my bed, startled from the realness of the dream. I had dreamt of him again. This was only the second time I had dreamed of him but the fact that he had appeared in not just one of my dreams scared me. I was petrified that he was showing up in my dreams this way.

Niall’s words echoed in my head, “Normally if a dream keeps repeating itself or if the common theme keeps on showing up in a dream it means something.”

So these dreams had to mean something, I just wasn’t sure what exactly. I wasn’t in love with Louis, I knew that much. I hadn’t even kissed the guy in reality. But did I want to kiss him? I pondered on the thought for a second. Maybe I did want to kiss him. It’s not normal to want to kiss your friend. But Louis wasn’t just any friend, he was my best friend. He was different from the rest. He had a certain charisma about him that made him unique in the best way possible. I was endlessly fascinated by him. Everything about him screamed perfection but he wasn’t flawless, in fact he had many flaws. And I loved each one of them. He was impetuous yet the most genuine person I had ever known. He was loving and caring, yet he was opinionated and high spirited. He was absolutely astonishing. Everything about him from his nose to his toes, from his fears to his favorite color was just astounding. I envied him for that but in the nicest way possible, he inspired me.

There was a knock on my door.

“Come in,” I called out. Gemma walked into my room taking a seat on the edge of my bed.

“Hey,” I said forcing a smile on my face.

“I just wanted to check on you, you’ve been up here all day,” she said softly. Silence grew between us for a while, while thoughts ran crazy in my mind.

“H-how did you feel when you first realized you liked James in that way?” I asked her. She thought about her answer for a moment before answering.

“I was surprised, he was my best friend for the longest time, and I never even considered the thought of us being a couple. But the thing is, love is unpredictable. We fall when we least expect it and who we least expect it to be with.”

Gemma left my room moments later, letting my thoughts wandered back to Louis. I couldn’t like a boy, at least not in that way. All my life I had been taught that it was sinfully wrong to love someone of the same gender. This whole country believed that, not a single person I knew thought otherwise. If I had those feelings for a guy, I’d be doomed. Gay sex or as they call it here ‘sodomy’, is punished upon death. My parents if they were to find out I were having these feelings or dreams would be contempt. Everyone would look at me as if I had a disease that they could catch. I remember hearing about this one guy in the news, he was in his early thirties and was caught having sex with another man. People sent so much hate to their families, blaming them for bringing a ‘diseased child’ into the world. People stood outside the prison where the guy were to stay until execution, holding signs that despised homosexual acts. The two guys were hanged in the gallows behind the prison which they let people watch. Apparently people brought popcorn to the execution, well metaphorically they did. I don’t understand how people could watch someone be hanged and enjoy it. It’s sick, absolutely sick. People believe that God created men to love women and women to love men, not for men to love men and women to love women. Louis’ blue eyes popped into my head, his eyes were the most piercing shade of blue I had ever seen. His brunette hair that he would usually style in a quiff or on rare occasions, wear it down, letting it flop every which way. His short little petite body that was perfectly sculpted by God himself. And don’t even get me started on his ass. Yeah, these thoughts were not normal. I did not just think of him as a friend. I confirmed it then and there, I had a teeny, tiny, little crush on Louis Tomlinson. But, it was just a crush. And crushes, go away, they don’t last. I’ll be over it in a week tops. This feeling for my best friend won’t last, it’ll go away and so will the dreams. They have to.

***

It’s been a week since the dreams started and ever since, each night I dream about Louis. Most of the dreams are intimate dreams of us kissing and doing what lovers do. I’ve seen Louis at work, and I’ve been trying to act as normal as possible around him. It’s hard though. He’ll catch me ogle at him with more than just fond. Today, Louis and I will be hanging out. He won’t tell me what exactly we’re doing or where we’ll be going. I sit in the passenger side of his car. Louis keeps on telling me about some football thing but I keep on tuning out, getting lost in my thoughts. We’ve been in the car for quite a while and I don’t recognize my surroundings. The more we drive, the further away from civilization we get. He turns on a dirt road. There’s green grass surrounding us on either side of the road. Up ahead I can just see trees and can hear the chirping of birds. The road ends and Louis parks on the side. I get out and look around my surroundings. In front of us is a large forest. Trees line the middle, almost like in Harry Potter. I can hear the sound of running water, probably from creeks and small rivers. He takes my hand and leads me into the forest. I can’t help but notice the sensation when our hands touch.

“How’d you find this place?” I asked him as we walked through the endless trees.

“Zayn and I would always go here to escape our parents when we were little.”

A smile was planted on his face. The sun shined through the trees, riveting so much beauty, I didn’t even think was possible. The only word that could explain that place was; heaven. Everything about it was just so beautiful and blissful. The place held a certain tranquility about it. Butterflies flew about in the clear air. Louis pulled me along as he ran after them, trying to catch one in his hands. One landed right on his finger. We both stared at it in awe. It was so beautiful. It had a black body but its wings were a deep blue that was almost purple with yellow spots.

“Morpho Cypris,” Louis said as he looked down at it with admiration in his blue orbs.

“What?” I asked.

“It’s the type of butterfly it is.” We watched in awe as it flew away, into its heavenly freedom. For a moment, I wish to be a butterfly. They were completely and utterly free. In a world like theirs, they were free to love whoever. I envied them because of that.

We walked further into the forest to a creek that had some small fish and frogs. I could tell just by looking in Lou’s eyes that this place held a lot of memories for him. It meant something to him.

“Not to be mean or anything, but why’d you bring me here?” I asked him. We stared at the creek watching the water. It took him a moment to answer.

“I guess I just wanted to show you something that was special to me and be able to share it with you,” he told me as he held my gaze. I wasn’t exactly sure what to say to that. It melted my heart that I meant that much to him.

“Thanks, it means a lot to me,” I said with a smile.

“C’mon, I have one last place to show you,” he said as he dragged me along. We run through the forest like two little boys running away from their parents. As we ran, we could hear the sounds of waterfalls and chirping birds all around us. Up ahead I noticed what looked like a cliff. We kept on running until we reached the end of the forest. He pulled me over to the edge of the cliff. I looked down to see the ocean beneath us, its waves crashing against the cliff. All we could see when we looked out was ocean water for miles and miles. The view was absolutely magnificent.

“I’ve always loved the ocean,” Louis said as he stared down at the sea in amazement. The ocean was a deep elegant blue that matched his blue orbs. If I could I would of stayed there forever, stuck in our little neverland, where we could be fully free.

AN:

Larry is almost here! So all the dreams are in iltalic. Basically this chapter is Harry realizing his feelings for Louis and trying to understand what this could mean. Nature is a huge aspect in this series, and so is the theme of freedom.