Star Crossed: Forbidden [larry]

Chapter XXVII: Truth

I didn’t like the sun anymore. It was always shining in your face all happy when you weren’t. It would shine down on all of the darkness making people believe there’s a light at the end of the tunnel when sometimes, there is no light, its just an illusion. I don’t like illusions nor suns. I now preferred the rain. It shared my sadness as well as dark view of the world. It was the start of a beginning and sometimes the end of a story. It started lives as well as ended them. I wondered when the rain would take mine. When it would take Louis’. I sat on my window seat in my bedroom, watching the rain pour down on the atmosphere. I hadn’t seen Louis for a week, I hadn’t left the house since. Not even for work. I stopped going the day after I saw Louis again. It was too much a reminder of what was. And what could have been. The rain drenched the plants that my mum had planted with Gemma before she moved out. There were two little boys jumping from puddle to puddle in their rain boots and raincoats. They laughed as water would splash at the other when one jumped. They kicked the water making it fly up, watching as it hit the other boy. I envied them. Their innocence. Their friendship. The way they could be out in broad daylight and not have to worry about getting caught with each other. Lightning streaked across the sky making the boys jump, startled. They exchanged glances and then went back to jumping in the puddles. I turned my head away from the window, looking around my room. On my dresser was a picture of Chloe in a summer dress, her blonde hair curly with my arms wrapped around her waist with the biggest smiles on both of our faces. Next to it was another frame, it was the picture Louis and I took together before seeing Romeo and Juliet. It was the only picture I had of him. I wish I could turn back time so I could of taken more pictures of us, so I would forever have his memory. But I can’t turn back time.

Next to the pictures was the bear that I won Katy.

“Save that for someone else,” her voice echoed in my head. But I couldn’t give it to anyone else. I would never be able to give it to Louis. There was a knock at the door. My parents would check in on me from time to time, bring me food which I never touched.

“Come in,” I shouted. The door opened to reveal Niall, he had on light blue skinny jeans and a sweatshirt with a football team on it. I hadn’t seen him in a while. He smiled at me and took a seat on the window seat.

“Love sucks, eh,” he said offering a small smile.

“How’d you know?” I asked. He sighed.

“You always sit here when you’re sad, and your dad kinda told me about Louis quitting.” He offered a sympathetic smile.

“He didn’t quit.” My eyes never even neared his. His eyes reminded me too much of Lou.

“I didn’t think so.” I could see him nod his head out of the corner of my eye.

“Pastor Tomlinson walked in on Louis and I making out,” I told in a small tremulous voice. He let out a deep sigh and patted my knee in sympathy.

“What’d he do?” Visions of Mr.Tomlinson beating Louis flashed through my mind making me cringe as tears collected in my eyes.

“He told me to leave, that I would never be able to see Louis again and then he took Louis to the basement.” I shuddered at the memory.

“He beat him, Niall. He beat him.” Tears began pouring down my face and sobs escaped my lips. Niall pulled me into his embrace, hugging me.

“Oh Haz,” he said in a soft tone as he stroked my back. We pulled away from the hug and he just stared at my dismal eyes.

“It’ll be okay,” he said in a sad voice.

“No it won’t and you know that!” I sobbed. He reached forward, letting me sob into his sweatshirt.

“Sydney cheated on me,” he told me after a moment. But he knew that his pain was in no comparison to mine.

“Sometimes, it just isn’t meant to be, Haz.” I shook my head, letting tears fly off my face.

“But we love each other, we’re meant to be, I know we are.” He pulled away only a tiny bit to let me look into his eyes.

“Sometimes, love isn’t enough.” Those were the most true words he had ever said to me. It was the sad, bitter truth.

“Why?” I asked. He brushed a random curl out of my face.

“Because that’s not how this world works unfortunately. Everything isn’t as black and white as they seem. Sometimes, things get in the way of love, driving people apart. Everything is very fragile.” I sobbed. I sobbed for Louis, for the innocence I had lost, for the darkness of a man’s heart. Eventually, I cried myself dry. The rain had subsided to a sprinkle and the sun was starting to make its way through the clouds.

“One day, two guys will be able to hold hands in public without judgement nor legal consequences,” Niall told me.

“Why can’t that one day be today?” I asked him as I lifted my head from his chest, staring out the window. There was a rainbow in the sky. The two little boys from earlier were pointing at it smiling wide.

“I don’t know, Harry. I don’t know why bad things seem to happen to the best people. It isn’t fair to you, Haz.” I met his eyes, looking straight into his eyes.

“It’s not fair to Louis,” I told him. Niall stayed there for a while, not speaking another word. We both just stared out the window. I love Louis. I love him more than anything. I had never felt so passionate towards anyone or anything in my life before. And I desperately wanted things to work out for us. But in the back of my mind, I knew they would never work out for us. We couldn’t go on hiding forever. We’d eventually get caught, be sent to prison and probably hang on the gallows. But I didn’t want to have that fate. I didn’t accept that. But I knew it was the inevitable. I just didn’t want to admit it.

Niall went home but I remained in that spot, watching the two boys play about. They reminded me of Louis and I, only we didn’t get the chance to meet when we were younger. I wish we did. I wish I had Louis there when I lost Chloe to help me get through it. I wish I had him there with me every step of the way. But either way, we would of ended up here. A girl and a boy were walking down the street, they stopped when they say the rainbow. The girl smiled at it, pointing to it. She had curly dark brown hair and brown eyes. She and the boy both looked to be sixteen. The boy had a baseball cap over his head, he had freckles and red hair under the cap, his eyes were a golden brown. He wrapped his arms around the girl’s waist, kissing her cheek. I envied them. I envied that they could show affection towards each other in public. I envied the smile on both of their lips as well as the old couple that admired them. I envied the way the two boys looked at the couple. I envied the way the sun shined down on them, like it approved of them. I envied their happy ending. I got up abruptly from the window seat, going over towards my dresser. I glanced at both pictures, studying the smile on my face, and the way the other gazed into my eyes. They looked the exact same to me, there was no difference between Louis and I than the couple outside. And I was outraged by that. If there was no difference then why did everyone act like there was. I picked up the carabear.

“Save that for someone else,” her voice echoed in my head making my head spin.

“I can’t!” I shouted as I ripped the head off the bear as sobs escaped my lips, tears streaming down my face. I threw the remnants of the bear at the wall and sank to the floor. I buried my head in my hands as sobs shook my whole body. I would never have that happy ending.