18. What my heart wants

596 37 9
                                    

JEON JUNGKOOK

She froze when I held her so tight in my arms. I also feel her hesitation to hug me back but she didn't protest. We just stayed like that for I don't know when. I just want to savor this rare moment. I remember the times that I had to lie to her. I know I'm a jerk for taking advantage of her cause she likes me but I didn't lie that I like her. That I love her.

"Don't do this..." I heard her say in a soft voice. Her head was in my chest , feeling that loud beat. I don't know how to say the things that I wanted to tell but I just suddenly have the urge to kiss her head and I feel her flinched and I smiled in contentment. I don't want to let her go. Can we just stay like this forever?

"Why are you doing this to me? You're making me confuse. Didn't you told me that you never liked me cause I'm just a sister to you? I don't know if you're playing with me but you might be. You're known for being a jerk," she said in her soft voice. I just chuckled. When I told her about the lie , I thought she'll be mad at me or even avoid me but here she was , in my arms.

"I know I'm sorry for being a jerk to you. It's just that everytime I'm not with you I feel like missing you eventhough I told you that I will never like you but it was a lie. I just have to lie because..." I was hesitant if I have to tell her about it. But I also think that no one should dictate how I feel. This is myself. I don't need other's opinion cause I decide for myself. For my happiness. I didn't say that I'm selfish but I want to follow what my heart wants.

"I can't blame you for thinking about me like that. I understand that you don't like me around you but will that change if I tell you the truth right now? You might think that I make you like a fool but no one can stop me from loving you," I suddenly feel ashamed. "I adored you for years but I tried to stop myself. I feel like it was never right liking someone who's years younger than me. I don't want to betray your brother. He's a good friend and he knew me as the jerkest person. People who knew me were have that same opinion about me. But I realize that I shouldn't mind other's opinion. I decide for myself and now I decided to tell you the truth..." she was silent while I hug her.

"I love you..." she tensed.

---

This might be my last update for this week. Tell me if this story sucks. HAHAHA.

She's My Girlfriend {ᴊ.ᴊᴋ x ᴋ.ᴅʜ} ✔Where stories live. Discover now