She's My Girlfriend {ᴊ.ᴊᴋ x ᴋ.ᴅʜ} ✔

19. Who I was

KIM DAHYUN

"I love you,"

I don't know how to react. But I was so sure that I'm getting uncomfortable and I feel my blood rush to my face. Honestly , I don't really want to talk to him. He insisted but a part of me wants to hear him. I don't want to be rude cause he's still older than me. The same age with my brother.  I thought of making alibi's again but I gave up when he hug me real tight. I don't understand myself. And I hate it sometimes when I easily give in.

"What are you saying?" I know that will offend him but I'm sorry , it's just that it's hard to believe him. I mean he lied to me. Even though he admitted that he lied to me but still I have doubts. I don't want to end up hoping again. Saying that everything will going to be alright although I know to myself that I'm just accepting the fact that I will never have the important person. I can always imagining , reality is too far to even reach.

"I know you won't believe my confession. This might be not enough to prove how I mean the words I'd told you. I'm not going to lie but the people who knew me they don't like me. They will make stupid things just to get rid of me. At first it was so hard for me to get that through but at the same time I also thought that there are still who accepted me for being who I was. I'm very grateful that you still like me despite all the things I'd done to you," he let go of me and stare at me.

I frowned when I saw how his grin turned into a sad smile while looking at me.

"..." I don't know how to compose a words. I just found myself staring at him. I looked at him through his eyes. I got lost and I feel mesmerize staring back at him. "Did you know? Why I can't explain why I feel this towards you... maybe you will know that when you know why you like someone , it's a crush but when you have no reason or explanation , it's love. That's why at first I doubted myself that maybe I just had a crush on you..."

"But years passed , I got worse. I mean my feelings for you grew deeper until one day I just have a dream that I make you happy..." I blinked my eyes. Maybe this is just my delusion. I admit that I'm imagining things lately that I thought I was going insane. Did really Jungkook mean those words to me? Honestly , I cringed when he said those to me. I wasn't used to it , alright? I used to be just watching and loving him from a far. And I never thought that my dream will continue this far.

"Maybe I was just sleepy..." I muttered out of nowhere.

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I cringed while writing this. So scary!!!