The Quiet

Chapter 35

Chapter 35

*Nathan's Point of View*

It's been a few weeks since my nightmare and I can tell it has changed me. I feel different about emotions towards Athena. I can see myself pushing her away, not wanting to get too attached. That nightmare allowed me to see how I would be when Athena passes away, how helpless I would be, how depressed my life would be. I keep telling her that I have homework to do which is why I don't hang out with her often.

I love Athena, that is a fact that I will never deny, but her death was going to ruin me. I wanted to push her away as far as I could to save myself the hurt. She realizes she won't be able to live forever, she has accepted it and I haven't. I am angry with myself for being so selfish about my decision. I interfered with her relationship with Dean to be with her, now I don't want to be near her. I take that back, I want to be near her more than anything, but my brain tells me otherwise. Not being with her has allowed the happiness to drain out of my body, I feel like a zombie.

I wanted to scream at myself for interfering with her life with Dean, she was happy with him. I despised him, but he loved her and wanted to keep her happy. He got her to stop smoking which is a bad habit of hers, that alone was impressive.

My nights have become worse, I told myself not to draw her anymore since that only feeds to my dependency on Athena. I sit there listening to songs that I have never listened to. I purposely skip over the bands that she loves like Pierce the Veil, the 1975 and The Neighbourhood, wanting to clean my life of her. It's hard to do that when I see her every day at school, thank the universe that I sit in the front of the class so I can't stare at her.

If I wasn't apart of her life anymore, she would be able to find someone. A guy who wasn't mentally dependent on her, someone she didn't need to watch over. That night made me realize how much she meant to me and how she needed to go out of her way to take care of me. I didn't want to be a burden on her like that, she needs to live her life without weight around her ankles.

I open my locker then start stuffing the necessary books into my backpack. A body leaned against the locker next to mine, it was Dean. "Freak, have you seen Athena? I need to talk to her." He asked. His words bothered me, what did he need to speak to her about? Nathan, that is no longer your business, I thought to myself.

"I haven't seen her today," I told him. My brain couldn't stop thinking about his purpose for wanting to talk to her, "what do you need her for?" I closed my locker, waiting for his response.

A smirk played on his lips, I knew it was going to be something that I wasn't going to like. "If you must know, I wanted to talk to her about the car I bought her. I wanted to make sure that she was enjoying it." I felt my heart drop tremendously. He bought her a car and Athena didn't tell me? I felt anger growing inside of me, letting his words get the best of me. He saw my reaction, he was satisfied. "Oh, she didn't tell you?" He faked sympathy for me. "At least you know now." Dean pushed himself off the locker and walked away from me. "If you see her, tell her I am looking for her." He yelled before turning the corner into another hallway.

I walked the other direction towards Athena's locker. I saw her standing there, putting things into her backpack for class. I walked up to her angrily, my ears were burning red hot. I looked into her locker and saw a pair of car keys on the top shelf. "So it's true?" I snapped, pointing to the keys.

She looked confused, "what are you talking about?" Then she looked up to where I was pointing, Athena sighed. "Nathan, it's not what you think?"

I didn't let my mind calm down for even a second, "it looks like your ex-boyfriend bought you a fucking car. A car you didn't tell me about." Her eyes widened at my harsh tone, she didn't expect me to be this way.