The Quiet

Chapter 43

Chapter 43

*Nathan's Point of View*

Forgive me. Please do it. I'm sorry. You know, I did it again, I went out with Alex. I went to a party and they started handing me drinks right when I walked in. Now, I can't see my hand clearly, everything is blurry. Everything is distorted, and I am worried. I don't know what to do. What did I take? How much did I ingest? Why did nobody stop me?

Does anyone really care? No.

Why am I like this? Because you are psychotic.

I stumbled around the random house, hoping to find a familiar face that could help me. My legs have a mind of their own which led me upstairs where I found an empty area. I did this to myself. I was angry at myself like I always am. I was upset about Kyle, the things I have done to him. I hurt my best friend! Why?! Because I cannot handle myself. I'm so weak. I'm sorry. Please forget what I did. More thoughts poured into my head about all of the bitter things I have done. Athena. Kyle.

God, I'm so drunk.

My baby, she is going to leave me and never come back. "Please don't leave me," I whispered to myself. I gave up on my search for help, for Marty. I pressed my palms to my eyes, wanting to push the tears back into my body. I lost my balance and fell back onto the wall, my legs gave out, so I slid down the painted platform. My head was already pounding with the alcohol flowing through my veins. Gin, vodka, beer, rum, bourbon, what else? How am I still conscious?

I cried softly to myself, hoping that it would make me tired and I would fall asleep. I cried about my girlfriend, the time I had left with her. There wasn't much time left. Every time I thought about it my heart broke a little more. I couldn't take it. She tells me to accept it, but I can't. My brain knows, but my heart refuses to accept the fact. She's so beautiful, inside and out. Her mind is so unique, no one really appreciates it like they should. I love hearing her talk, her voice is something I can never get enough of. I let my fingers find my phone in my pocket. My vision was blurred by the tears, but I managed to dial her phone number. It rang and rang which felt like forever until she finally answered. She was asleep, and I was the wonderful boyfriend who woke her up. I was hating myself more and more as the minutes passed.

"Nathan? What's wrong?" Her tired voice rang in my ear. I smiled lightly through the tears. She was still here with me. I loved how caring she was.

My depressed state came back in a matter of seconds and I started sobbing again. "Don't go," I cried out. It was going to kill me. It was already killing me.

"Sunshine, I'm not going anywhere. Please don't cry," she said in an attempt to make me feel better. It wasn't working, the tears were still running down my face. "Where are you?"

I ignored her question and started talking again, "why do you have to go? I don't want you to leave me alone. Stay, baby. Stay for me," I slurred. My words were becoming less clear since the alcohol was hitting its peak in my system. "You always leave."

She sighed, probably rubbing her forehead with her hand. She probably turned the light on to keep herself awake. I heard creaks through the phone, Athena was pacing around the room in an anxious state. "Nathan, I'm not leaving again at least not on purpose. Please don't think about it. Everything is going to be fine." Athena paused for a second to take a breath of air. "I want you to calm down, take deep breaths." I started to take deep breaths, but the sobs got caught in my throat and I started crying more. I was such an emotional drunk sometimes, I hated it. "Where are you? I'm going to pick you up- "her voice was cut off when my phone died. My intoxicated mind thought she slipped away from me from ever, so I screamed in sadness. I wanted to hear her voice again.