The Quiet

Chapter 34

Chapter 34

*Nathan's Point of View*

I woke up from my nightmare in sweat. I felt hot tears running down my face, my body was shaking. I wiped my face with the blankets before grabbing my phone. It was 3 a.m. My heart hurt more than anything else at the moment. It was the worst nightmare I have ever had and I have had them for years. The tears wouldn't stop running down my face no matter how many times I wiped them away.

I never I wouldn't be able to last through the night unless I called Athena. I needed to make sure she was still here, that she still loved me. I swiped through my phone until my phone showed the call screen. My sobs were soft as the phone rang. I knew she was asleep, but I couldn't handle knowing. "Nathan, why are you awake? it's 3 in the morning." I heard her hoarse voice ask. I felt relieved when she answered me, she didn't hate me, at least not yet. Her voice made me smile even through the strong stream of tears.

"I had a nightmare," I told her, my sobs were evident to her through the phone. I heard her shuffling, most likely waking herself up. My cries wouldn't stop even though I was begging for them to. "You left! Athena, I thought I lost you forever. I woke up feeling like I lost someone." I pulled the phone away from my face, not wanting her to hear the sobs coming from my mouth.

"Are you okay?" The worry in her voice made me feel 10 times worse. I woke her up and now she was worried about me because I couldn't handle myself. "Do you want me to come over?" I sat there for a long time, not knowing what my answer should be. I didn't want her to leave her warm house to come to mine. "Fuck it, I am coming over." Before I could say 'no' to her, she hung up the phone.

I sat there mad at myself, I was so weak that I needed someone to comfort me. Someone I loved and didn't want them to suffer in the cold night for a walk to my house. I threw my wet pillow that was soaked in tears and sweat across the room. I laid there, thinking about how I was going to last if Athena passes away. What was I going to do? She was my inspiration for my drawings as well as my happiness. I felt more tears running down my cheeks as the depressing thoughts rolled through my mind. I allowed my sobs to be loud, wanting to get it all out of my system. I felt a cold hand touch me, making me look up at the person. Athena had a black beanie on her head, one of my sweaters with jeans.

She kicked off her shoes and climbed into my bed next to me. Her hand grabbed my torso, signaling me to lay on her. My head laid on her chest while cries continued to leave my mouth. I felt one hand run through my hair while the other rubbed my back. "I'm here, Nathan. You don't have to worry about it," she whispered. I felt my sobs quiet themselves a bit from her words. "Do you get these nightmares often?" I nodded my head. "You don't sleep, do you? I can see from your eyes that you never do anymore. They get worse every time I see you."

"I can't sleep, I don't want to." I felt her lips touch my forehead, giving me a reassuring kiss. "My brain won't let me." I could hear her heartbeat in my ears. This gave me a solution to my anxious mood, she was here with me. "I thought you left me again."

I heard her sigh as she continued her actions. "Sunshine, I am not going anywhere so don't think about it."

My eyes were burning from all the tears, but now, there was nothing left in me. I laid on Athena, emotionless. "You're going to die someday so don't tell me not to think about it!" I pulled away from her angrily. "I think about it all the time, I'm scared to see you go! I know I shouldn't do it and I know I can't change our destiny but I still worry. How can you be so calm about it?!" I yelled at her. I stood up from my bed and began pacing around my room.

"I learned to accept the future and not focus on it. If I focus on my illness then I won't have fun in my life, Nathan. I think you should do the same." She got up from my bed, stopping me in my tracks. Athena walked up to me, pressing her hands against my face. "I don't want you to center your life around me, that's not right of me."