The fire within

Chapter 5 more than friends

Invisibilly what are you doing in here are..are you crying?
Oh my god Bill are you Cutting yourself!?

Does it really matter if I do?

Yes it fucking does!
I don't want you to cut yourself.
What were you thinking?
I-Is that a box cutter??

Yeah, it's all i had in here...But you probably hate me now
do you?

Bill I-I don't hate you.
I'm just a shocked.
Why would you ever cut yourself especially with a box cutter?

(I took it from him and threw it on the other side of the room)

You know you didn't have to throw it right?

I don't care.
Now tell me why you're hurting yourself.

Because feeling any other kind of pain helps me forget what is really hurting me the most.

please come on out of the closet and let's talk.
Please stop acting like it's the end of the world.

It feels like it is but Alright...

(He wiped his face and I wrapped his arm with a blue scarf that I found in the closet.
He brought me over to his bed and told me everything.
I was a little weirded out because I still thought of him as a brother.
But this is your chance to fuck him it's the perfect opportunity to do so.
Jeff stop talking now because I'm just about to leave)

Heatblast I-I really do love you.
And the thought of seeing you with someone else it...it kills me.
You were always there for me.
You always stood up for me if I needed you.
You were the only person who ever made me happy and made me feel like I belonged.
I-I started to have feelings for you the year after we met and I started to like you even more as time went on.
I tried to push it aside but I couldn't lie to myself anymore.

Bill I-I had no idea you feelings for me in that way or that you were even gay.

Why do you think I never told you.
I didn't want you to think differently of me.
I didn't want to lose my first and only friend.

Bill I would never think any differently of you.
You don't have to be ashamed or scared to tell me anything.
And besides I think it's cool that you're gay.

Y-You're not mad at me?

No Why on earth would I be mad at you for being gay?

I don't know...Because I kept it a secret for so long.
And I didn't want everybody to know because I didn't want people to judge me.

Bill no one is going to judge you.

if my mom found out I was gay or that I even liked you she would have beaten the crap out of me.

Oh...I kinda forgot about her.
But Now that ya tell me I do remember the times you did get a little clingy around me when I hung out with the guys.
Or when I had a girlfriend.

I'm so sorry.

Hey Don't be sorry.
You have nothing to be sorry about.

I feel ashamed of myself.
I should have told you a while ago but I didn't want to lose you.
You were the only friend I ever had.
You were always there for me when I needed someone and I had No one else to talk to.
I'm so sorry.
I didn't want to tell you not like this.
But I couldn't wait anymore I had to tell you.
I had to stop lying to myself.

Bill look at me, It's not a big deal.
You don't have to be sorry I understand.

I couldn't stand watching you with someone else.
I know I sound selfish...but I wanted you all to myself.