The fire within

Chapter 10 Inner Thoughts

(4 hours go by now)

Hey...hey Bill you awake?

Zzzzzzz.

Good night Bill.
I'll See ya later.

(I had work in 2 hours so I got up without waking him and I got my uniform on and before I left I wrote a note and kissed him on the forehead and went to work)

[I'll see you tomorrow I promise, I'm so sorry about yesterday it was Jeff.
I-I I couldn't control myself I hope you can forgive me and I hope that someday you'll understand]

(As I got into my car and left, images of last night kept popping in my head.
I immediately put on music to get my mind off it but the images kept coming back)

Son of a Bitch!

What is it buddy?

I can't stop thinking about last night, No matter how hard I try.

Why do you want to stop thinking about it?

Because I need to focus when I get to work, And everything that Bill and I did was all your fault.

Oh jeez, You're still not gonna let that go are you?

No I'm not, So fuck you.

You guys fucked like bunnies last night.

Shut up.

No seriously, You guys did it like 6 times yesterday, I'm impressed.

Why can't you meddle with someone else's head for once!
Why can't you leave me alone so I can have a normal life?!

Because I love you and you're my friend.

You're funny.
We're not friends.
We will never be friends.
You're just a gay ass hat that I can't get rid of and makes my life a literal fucking nightmare every damn day, You're so impulsive in fact that I just want to kill myself just to get rid of you!

You're mean.

Good, I wasn't trying to be nice you prick!

(As I got to work I kept telling myself stop thinking about him he's your
best friend he's like a brother to you.
but what am I doing honestly.
I don't even know anymore.
I may have thought that it felt good last night but I'm trying to think that it never happened.
That it was all just a dream.
I love him but not in that
way...I'm not sure.
7 hours later when I was doing some paperwork I thought about it again.
I got pissed and threw a paperweight across the room)

Son of a Bitch!

Wow calm down What is it?
Getting tired of this work?

No!
I can't stop thinking about last night and the night before.

Well I can't help you there.

Just go away jeff, I really need to be alone right now physically and mentally and you don't help.

I do too help.

Oh Really??
In what way do you help without me losing my temper or my sanity.

You make a good point.
Alright I'll leave you alone.