The fire within

Chapter 16 starting a family

(Days past and it felt the same making it seem like a broken record that won't stop playing.
I wake up get ready for work and come home.
Rinse and repeat every day.
It's starting to get colder out now that fall is just around the corner.
I wake up with bad headaches and it feels like someone is shooting me.
Bill woke me up probably at like two in the morning freaking out)
Heatblast are you alright your skin is pale white?!
I'm fine...Are you alright and why are you yelling?
It's like 2 in the morning.
You looked like you just died.
Please don't scare me like that.
Hun...I'm already dead.
I know but You also looked like you were having a terrible nightmare.
Hun relax it's alright I'm fine.
And I'm not trying to scare you.
I think you need to stay home and sleep.
Bill I can't I have work today.
Moe and Iris can find someone else to take over for you today.
You don't seem like you have any energy to do anything.
Bill I can't miss work today.
And it's 2 in the morning I can still get some sleep.
I'm sorry but I don't want you to go into work sick, you need to get some rest.
I'll be back soon with something for you to eat.
But I'm not hungry And I'm not sick.
I don't want any food.
I don't care your skin is pale white.
And you're ice cold.
So?
So I'm gonna make you something to eat and get you some medicine.
Bill you really don't have to do that.
But I'm going to.
(Damm.
Bitch much today aren't we?
Fuck you.
Doesn't mean you have to be a asshole.
I'm sick right now and I'm in a lot of pain.
I thought you said you weren't sick?
I lied so he wouldn't worry but he knows what happens to me when I am sick)
No really You don't need to get me anything just go back to sleep okay.
No I'm still going to get you something.
You do know that I'll just throw it away right.
Do it You won't.😑
You're right I won't I'll just throw it out the window for the birds to eat.
If you do I'll grab a bat and wack you in the head.
Alright fine.
You're really pulling my leg here.
I might just break your legs if you continue to give me an attitude.😑
Okay okay I'm sorry.
I'm just kidding.
Yeah Sure you are.
(Jesus Christ dude your such an asshole.
How many fucking times do I have to tell ya shut up!
Your not apart of this)
I'll see you in a little bit.😘
Alright biwy.
(You know that he's trying his best right.
Shut up Jeff.
Hey Don't get pissy with me.
It's none of your business to interfere ok.
Alright just calm your tits man.
I got no tits to calm.
Maybe if you weren't such an asshole I would stay away more often.
I would rather take my medication so you would leave me alone for good.
Okay now that's dick repellent right there.
Have fun trying to have sex with a attitude like that)
Hey I'm back.
Oh hey I thought you left me for good for a second there.
I would never leave you Even though you piss me off half the time.
Oh goodie I feel special.
I got you some ramen.
Thank you love...wait a second.😑
What is it?
Why did you make ramen instead of lemon soup?
Sorry but I don't have the stuff to make a lemon soup.
So I made this instead.
Are you sure about that?
You know I eat ramen before I masterbate.
Uhh.☹️
That wasn't needed but okay.
But thank you anyway love.
You're welcome asshole.
How about I make a lemon soup for Dinner tomorrow.
How does that sound.
That would be nice.
Thank you my sweet little bitch.
You're welcome you doof.😘
You've been getting sick a lot lately are you sure you're okay.
It always happens in the fall.
Why though?
I don't know.
I should be fine though.
Have you been having those night terrors again?
Yeah...
(Bill eventually laid down next to me and fell asleep wrapping his arms around me)
It's alright.
You're safe now.
Yeah but I don't know why I keep having to relive that same day over and over.
It's probably what you fear most.
Abandonment?
Yeah...but also death.
Watching everyone die In front of me and I couldn't do anything about it.
You were 3 there was nothing you could have done.
Maybe...But why that day?
I feel like the same thing is going to happen here.
You have to try and think about something that makes you happy and safe.
It's no use.
I tried everything.
(I started to play with his hair and since his hair is so freaking long I decided to braid it)
Umm You having fun?
Yes why do you ask?
You're playing with my hair.
I'm actually braiding it.
But why?
Because my love your hair kept getting in my face.
So you're gonna continue playing with my hair?🤨
Would you like me to play with something else if you catch my drift.😏
Oh my god no.😂
Come on hun I'm bored.
Do you want to play a video game?
I'm not really in the mood to play a game now.
Do you want to watch a movie.
Nah.
We seen all of the movies that we have.
Well what do you want to do?
Lay down next to you.
Oh please.
We both know you wanna have sex.
And I know that you're gonna say no.
You know me so well☺️
Yeah you little wise ass.
You're such an idiot.
But you love me.
Do I?
Do you?
Yes I do.
I love you.😘
I know.🥰
I love me too.
Oh🥺
I'm just kidding.
You know I love you.
I know but...I don't like when you joke like that.
I'm sorry hun.
You're a bitch.
Heatblast i said that I was sorry.
it's alright I forgive you.
I'm just fucking with ya.
You're a bitch.
Yeah I know.
Are you sure you're not in the mood?
*sigh*
Alright...five minutes got it?
Yes sir.😁
(We made out for a few, fooling around until Ten minutes go by now and Bill is just spacing out staring at the ceiling until he finally says something)
Hey Heatblast?
Yes my little gay Irish potato.
Have you ever thought about...um wanting a baby?
Uhhhh what.😐
Where did this come from?
What's on your mind?
Well besides Eva I...well I thought maybe we could raise a baby together.
When Eva was brought to life she was already a grown up.
I just feel like there's something miss-
Bill I thought we agreed on not having kids after we got married.
And the way that I act you know I'm not the fatherly type.
And besides if we were to even have a kid I would want to have a son.
We've been married for a while now and I want to start a little family with you.
we can ask Britney if she can help.🙂
Bill I-I don't know if I'm even ready for kids.
Heatblast you're 34 years old and I think it's about time we at least started a family.
I don't know...
You must have thought about it at some point right?
Not really no.
Not until you brought it up.
You never had at least one thought about having a kid?
Bill I'm not as young as I used to be.
Plus I don't even want kids.
I don't know if I want that responsibility yet.
I would probably be a terrible father.
If that's how you really feel then I guess...never mind...I'm...I'm going to sleep on the couch tonight.😞
Good night.
Bill...I-I didn't mean to...
He's gone.
No shit.
I think he's got a point.
And if you guys are going to be living a life together you should listen to him.
You're not 21 any more.
Times change and he's already changed his mind.
I-I I'll think about it but I'm not promising anything.
Plus I'm still mad at you.
For what?!
Don't play stupid with me Jeff.
(The door opens)
Eva...what do you want?
I just saw dad sleeping on the couch and I couldn't help but reading your mind.
Uhh Why were you reading my mind to begin with?
I'm guessing Jeff was talking to you.
And what's this about you guys talking about having a baby.
It's your fathers idea not mine.
And it's none of your business anyway.
It kind of is my business considering the fact that I live here.
Also It better not be dad's idea because I don't want to have a brother nor a sister.
I rather be an only child.
Eva you're 24 years old you can just fucking move out if you don't like what you're father and I say or do.
Wow ok being a asshole just because dad is sleeping on the couch ok I get it.
Why can't you just grow the fuck up
And leave us alone.
Because I was specifically made to torment you that's why.
If I had the power to kill you.
I hate you.🙂
I don't fucking care you little shit.
I hate you too.
I'm going so you can finish your little tamper tantrum alone.
Fuck you!
You hermaphrodite shit!
Whatever.
Later ass hat.
Damm yelling at a girl.
Shut up Jeff and you're only half right.
But hey on the bright side even if you guys do have a kid you'll be able to see him or her grow up.
Just go away I need to think about this.
And I just got rid off one of my headaches.
I'd like to get rid of the other one.
(After a while I got up and went in the living room to see if I can try to talk to Bill)
Hey...hey sweetheart wake up.
What...what's going on?
What do you want?
Bill hun please Come back to bed please.
I don't want to.
I'm fine here.
Bill please.
I don't like it when you're distant.
I'm not leaving.
Sweetheart please I'm so so sorry for the way I acted towards you.
It's just I never expected you to bring something like that up.
I didn't mean to make you upset.
I love you so so much and I'm sorry.
It's alright I probably should have just kept my mouth shut.
Don't say that You have the right to say what you want.
I just feel awful the way I acted.
Sometimes when I do say what I want you push it aside and act like I never said anything.
That's not true.
I do care about what you want to do.
How come you don't you want to start a family?
I do it's just...I'm not mentally stable to raise a baby.
That's not true.
You're fully capable of raising a baby.
Just because you have split personalities it doesn't mean that you're not mentally stable.
I want to have a baby with you.
And you would make a great father.
I just...I just don't want to end up like my father.
You're nothing like Richard.
You may be his son but you're nothing like him.
I'm so sorry Please forgive me.
It's ok I forgive you.
You do?
Yes I do.
I love you Bill.
I never meant to-
It's alright I forgive you.
You don't have to keep apologizing to me.
Now come on let's go back to bed.
Oh no you don't I'm carrying you.
What?
(I picked him up bridle style and brought him to the bed and laid him down)
You do know I have legs right?
I could have just walked.
No you just woke up and I wanted to carry you to bed.
I appreciate it but I still could've just walked.
But thank you anyway.
You know I'll do anything for you even if you don't ask for it right.
I know.
But sometimes I want to help you.
Babe I'm twice your size you can't lift me
Even if you tried.
But It doesn't hurt to try.
...actually I take it back I'd probably get hurt trying to lift you.
That is correct.
(I laid him down and wrapped him up in his fluffy blanket)
Well aren't you going to come to bed now or am I going to sleep alone again.
I'm coming don't worry.
Heatblast?
Yes light of my life?
I love you.
I love you too.
Can you please forgive me.
Oh my god Yes...and If you keep apologizing I'll change my mind.
Bill...Just let me think about this whole...baby thing and I'll let you know okay.
I just don't want to jump right into it just yet.
I just need some time to think.
Alright...I understand.
I'm sorry for trying to push the subject.
Hey it's alright.
I love you so much😘
I love you too.😘
(I started to pet Bill's hair until he fell asleep.
I'm such a asshole.
You're just realizing this now?
Why do I even talk to you.
Because I'm the voice in your head that practically manipulated you through out your sad and angry life.
Plus you're insane.
Gee thanks asshole.
You're welcome buddy.
Soooo you uh gave it some thought.
About what?
Are you kidding me right now!
Remember what Bill said about wanting to start a family with you.
Oh I forgot.
How could you forget?!
It's five o'clock okay!
I'm tired why don't you remind me In the morning.
Fine.
Fine.
Night dickhead.
Night thot)