India: The Passing Day

Ch 3: off to India

February 1968 
Cynthia was packing the last of her clothing in her and Johns suitcase. They were all off to India. It all seemed to happen so fast. The boys decided they liked the Maharishi so much they wanted to fully study with him.  John and George in particular seemed so committed to learning about transcendental meditation. After Brian's death it seemed that they wanted a way to become more spiritual on a very intense level.

Cynthia was all for it as long as John and she found something they could work on together. A way to bring them closer. This trip could almost be a second honeymoon. Cyn was hopeful yet apprehensive.

"John can you come help me close this suitcase." John?

No answer.

"John!" she decided to go find him, their Kenwood home was so big it would actually be more of a game of hide and seek.

"John"! she yelled, more.

At that moment there five year old son Julian came in running hugging her leg.

"Ohh... love, did you happen to see daddy I can't find him?

"He is in the tv room mommy" Julian said "he keeps reading this book."

Cyn knew exactly what book Julian was talking about. It was yoko ono's book Grapefruit. John had been reading it for weeks. It seemed that if he wasn't busy watching tv, or writing a song he was reading that book.

Alright love thank you, kissing little Julian, bending down to fix his hair Julian said "mommy why does daddy not play with me anymore?"

Looking down momentarily she thought how she could explain to a 5 year old all the changes that have happened in their lives.

"Daddy is just very busy darling," she said.

"Does he hate me?" Julian said

Cynthia was stunned, her 5 year old son was asking if his own father hated him

"No of course not, Daddy loves you very much, he is just"... she couldn't even explain her husband's behavior to herself let alone her 5 year old son.

"I'm sure daddy will play with you in a little bit love," "Let mummy talk to him ok."

"Ok", julian said disappointed.

Running to the backyard cyn wondered how Julian is being affected by everything, John hadn't seen his son since he was born. Touring and the Beatles rise to fame really kept their little family apart. Not that it was a big dilemma, she was proud of her husband and all his success, he deserved it yet it still kept them apart for long periods of time. John had only really started to get to know Julian. And yet she noticed while John tried Julian was still a mystery to him. He loved him but something was still wrong.

"John love I was calling you to come help me with the last of the suitcases." Cyn said. 
John just laughed at what he was reading, listen to this cyn, he said reading a passage

Cloud piece,
imagine the clouds are dripping,
dig a hole in your garden to put them in.
1963 Spring.

Wow... she is very interesting cyn said rather confused yet surprised, at her writing.

"She is a bloody original mind is what she is". John said admiring the book.

"How long have you been reading that book... i feel like i haven't seen you put it down since you first got it."

"Let me enjoy myself," john said annoyed.  "This trip to india is already stressing me out with all the damm packing." We are leaving for almost 2 months or more, cyn can i just have this to myself." "And i am not always reading john quipped."

Cyn just sighed, "fine" she said not wanting to confront him more. Just like john she hated the idea of confrontation. She knew that she should have asked him what was really going on with yoko. But she just couldn't at least not right now she kept telling herself.

As she walked away she just heard john laugh and admire the book some more.

************************************

"And done" cyn said finally closing the last of the suitcases.

John finally came up

"See not so hard to close a suitcase is it?" John asked antagonizing her.

Cyn just sighed. "Well i'm excited love, this trip will be good for us she said taking John's hand. He stared down at their interlocking fingers a bit annoyed and confused. "We can get closer spiritually, meditating, being away from the press, fans, and all the pressures." She said smiling at him.

John released her hand rather quickly, "ya ya sure" john said rather dismissively and got under the covers of their bed. "Look Cyn i'm knackered we have to get up early tomorrow for the plane, we will have all the bloody time in the world to talk on the plane."

"Ok love sure"... she said.

Getting into bed she went to sleep feeling hopeful about this trip. Her marriage needed a miracle and this trip could be just that.
India here we come.