India: The Passing Day

Chapter 9: An Understanding

Cynthia awoke in her bungalow, it was time for morning devotion, she hated this part having to get up extremely early. She always usually did since Julian would come in ready to start the day, but having to get up to worship seemed so much more work. Pushing herself to get up she turned expecting to see John, then she remembered he moved out. And yet rather than feeling sad she felt more able to take on the day.

It was as if john not being there gave her much more of a clear mind.

Walking to the meditation center she noticed jane and paul arguing in front of their bungalow.

It seems though nobody else noticed except her. She tried to look away but couldn't with Jane waving her arms around angrily.

Jane finally noticed Cyn staring at them and Cyn promptly continued to walk, hoping she wouldn't get in trouble, considering it was none of her business.

Finally arriving a the meditation center Cyn found a spot she saw the whole group up at front but decided to have her own little space for now.

Opening her book, and finding the hymn they were all chanting, Jane sat right next to her, while Paul went to sit next to the group

"Hello," she said opening her book not looking up at Cyn.

"Hello." Cyn said hoping she wasn't to mad.

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After morning worship Cyn got up as did Jane.

Cyn wasn't even sure what to say.

"How are you Jane?" Cyn asked. That would be a good way to start. She thought

"Good...Jane said trying to sound calm and you, how are you Cyn".

"Im fine," Cyn replied.

The awkward silence did not help.

It seemed it was becoming one of those fine weather we're having conversations.

Finally Jane spoke up.

"Look Cyn I know you saw me and Paul arguing." Jane said rather embarrassed.

"What?" I didn't see anything Cyn said innocently.

"Its ok." Jane reassured her. "I know you saw.

"Are you alright?" Cyn asked.

"Honestly... no." Jane replied sighing.

"Wow that feels good to finally say." Jane said chuckling.

"Things haven't been alright for awhile, I just haven't said anything because I feel like I am trying to hold it all together, I mean we are getting bloody married I have to be ok." Jane said.

"Cyn just nodded, I understand," Cyn said.

"You are scared of getting married and i'm scared of losing my marriage." Cyn said.

Jane looked up, "you mean you and john?"

"Yes Cyn replied, he moved out of the bungalow to his own."

Jane shook her head, "im so sorry. It seems our significant others aren't our favorite people right now" jane said.

Cyn just chuckled "Yes I suppose not."

"Paul just doesn't understand me, you know I don't think he ever really ever has. He keeps pressuring me to give up acting. Once we are married you must give up acting, being a wife is your new job he says, can you believe that?" Jane says rolling her eyes.

"Paul has always been a controlling boyfriend."
Cynthia replied shaking her head, "he and John have that in common."

"Well I won't have it, I am my own person, I can't be defined by my husband. I just ask can't he be proud of me?, I know he loves me and is happy for me but I don't think he has ever particularly liked my acting career. I can't marry someone like that Cyn I just can't." Jane said firmly.

Cyn just nodded smiling at her friend. She admired Janes courage and how strong she was. Paul had an amazing woman such a shame he didn't know what he had.

"I feel as though i've lost myself in my marriage", Cyn said. "I love my husband but i havent painted in a while," "Did you know i was going to be a teacher."

Jane smiled, "no I didn't but I can see it, you would be a perfect art teacher." "Well what happened?" Jane asked.

"I got pregnant, and we got married shortly there after." Cyn said, "I mean we didn't just get married for that we loved each other very much and figured we were gonna get married someday so why not now, but we were very young." "And once the beatles took off it was bloody insane." Cyn said remembering.

Jane nodded understanding.

"Now it seems that John is further from me than ever. He... is talking to this woman. Cyn said sadly, and i don't know what to do."

"Is it over?" Jane asked?

"I dont even know", Cyn replied.

"That's the worst", Jane responded, "not knowing if it's over." Cyn knew what she meant considering she and Paul had broken up many times before.

"Look im not married or at least not yet, and I know we haven't really spoken or gotten to know each other that much, but I know that you are stronger than this Cyn, if John is hurting you this way you have a duty to yourself to know what to do. Claim your value." Jane said.

Cyn looked at Jane, and gave her a hug, "you are absolutely right, thank you."

Cyn promptly left.

Paul joined Jane, "what were you girls talking about?" he asked putting his arm around her waist as his little way of apologizing. Jane just rolled her eyes walking away.

"Jane can we talk about this" Paul declared going after her.