let this love die ➸ camren oneshots

Without You

Warning: Drugs, Depression

Prompt: lauren gets kicked out of fifth harmony and gets replaced by some girl who gets lauren really jealous so she starts doing drugs and camila has to help her find her way again

What was her name again? Gw... Gwe... Gwen. Her name was Gwen. Blonde, blue-eyed babe. She was pretty but her voice was a bit off. Her harmonies weren't the greatest, and she certainly couldn't dance. Lauren didn't understand why they chose Gwen over herself. Lauren was prettier, she was a better singer, she was a better dancer. She was better and she knew it. But all because she couldn't manage to keep her mouth shut, management had decided she was no longer girl group material. She needed to be perfect. To be a role model. They said if she stepped another toe out of line, she'd be out. And she managed to jump over the line altogether.

Lauren lived in a small apartment. There wasn't much to it. She wasn't making much money anymore. Just a little from all the past albums she'd done, but other than that, the only money she got was from her shitty job at a café two blocks down that she had to walk to every morning and walk home from every night. There was barely any furniture and she didn't eat much but instant noodles. She wondered what happened to her dreams of the future that she had in the past. She had so much potential. She could have been something if the whole girl band thing didn't work out. But she threw it all away because she took it for granted.

She was slumped over her coffee table. Her head was fuzzy, she could hardly even think straight. But as she could feel the sadness fill her heart again, she knew she needed to do something about it. She took a razorblade from beside her and started to shuffle through more of the white powder spread across the glass, crushing the little lumps and separating the powder into lines. As she breathed it in through her nose she felt the familiar dripping at the back of her throat and she started to feel... good. She leaned back against her couch and stared at the ceiling. She felt good for now, but in another 15 minutes she knew she'd have to do the uncomfortable process all over again.

There was a loud thud at the door, but she didn't bother answering. She couldn't be bothered getting off her feet. She took a joint from a small box on her table and shakily lit it, taking a deep breath. She didn't care what happened to her anymore. She just wanted all of her feelings to go away. So she kept puffing as the door slammed and slammed, and as a familiar husky voice called from the other side. The green-eyed girl was gone. She wasn't there anymore. She was somewhere else inside her own mind.

She had zoned out, too absorbed in the fuzziness of her brain, when she was shaken back to reality. She looked up at Camila, who was almost in tears at the sight, "Lauren! What the hell are you doing? Answer me!" she cried, shaking her shoulders lightly. Lauren pushed her off to the side and quickly did another line before Camila could brush the powder off the table. She hit her head against the glass once she was done, "Lauren stop it! Stop!" She screamed, forcefully pulling Lauren away from the table.

"Shhh..." Lauren said, lazily holding a finger to her mouth, "It's... okay, Camzi..." she said as Camila pulled her into a tight hug, "Shh... Camzi... why are you here...? Why are you crying... don't cry... don't cry..." she whispered slowly, grabbing a fistful of the material of Camila's shirt as she hugged her tightly.

"Lauren, I've missed you so much. The only reason I haven't visited you is because we've been touring so much. And I come back and hear you've... you've got this problem... and no-one has seen you for weeks and... and... I was worried..." she sniffled, "Lauren, you have to stop, you have to..."

"I don't have to stop. No-one would miss me now. No-one would miss me," Lauren answered, resting her head on Camila's shoulder, "They don't care about me anymore, I'm just that girl who used to be in that one group who went crazy and died of an overdose."

"You haven't died yet and I'm not letting you. Plenty people would miss you. And I don't care if you don't care about them. Think about me, Lauren. I love you more than anything in the entire world. You are my entire world. Don't ever think that I don't love you. Don't ever think that I wouldn't miss you," Camila said weakly, kissing Lauren's head softly, "You need to stop. Please. You need to."

"I can't stop, it's too late. I'll never feel good again," Lauren answered, "I'll never be happy again."

Camila sighed. She just wished she could make Lauren understand. After hearing about Lauren's drug problem, she'd been texting, and calling, and doing everything she could to get in contact with her best friend. But with no reply, Camila had been left with nothing but anxiety and worry. She held Lauren close, feeling relieved that Lauren was still alive, even if she was in such a terrible condition, "You have me. Lauren, you will always have me. I will never leave you. Ever. You need to trust me. You can be happy with me. I know you can. I know I make you happy. You just need to stop all of this dangerous stuff, okay? Trust me."

Lauren stayed silent, "Camzi... I'm sorry but I ca—"

"I'll make you stop. Whether I have to tie you up and gag you for months straight. I will take care of you until you are clean, do you understand me? No more drugs. You're 22. You don't need to waste your life on this pathetic stuff. You might not have Fifth Harmony anymore... but Fifth Harmony has always been temporary. You were never going to have 5H forever anyway. But you'll always have me. And we can figure something out for you. We can do something. I'll figure it out okay? Most of what I'm saying is pointless, you're so fucking high right now," Camila sighed, pressing a little kiss to Lauren's lips, "You fucking answer me when I call," she said, her eyes filling with tears again.

Lauren slid down so she was lying with her head in Camila's lap, "I'm tired..."

"I know you are, you stupid girl," Camila sighed, gently lifting Lauren back up again. She got to her feet, pulling Lauren up with her, being sure to support her, "Come on..." she whispered, helping Lauren drag her feet into her room. She sat her down and had to help her get into a comfortable position.

"Camzi... please... hold me...?" Lauren asked, reaching out for Camila, "You have no idea how lonely it is without you."

Camila sighed and kicked off her shoes before crawling beside the older girl. Lauren roughly pulled her against her body, acting as the big spoon, and she buried her face in Camila's soft hair. Camila wiped the tears from her eyes and sighed to herself as Lauren hummed an unfamiliar tune into her ear. Maybe if Lauren was sober it would have been a nice little moment, but Lauren smelled slightly of marijuana and other things, and Camila was entirely put off by it. But Lauren was comfortable, and Lauren was happy, and that in turn made Camila feel a little better, "Starting tomorrow. You're going to stop," she sighed.