let this love die ➸ camren oneshots

Yesterday Feelings ☆

Prompt: lauren confronts camila about being so distant with her lately and pours her feelings to camila about how much she misses her which leads up to (;

Lauren knew that she wasn't the only one who had noticed that Camila had been distant. The fans had noticed it too. And as she read through all the posts and comments on Tumblr and the tweets on Twitter, she was almost brought to tears. She couldn't tell if she was angry or if she was sad. People were saying it was all her fault. And that she needed to stop getting so defensive about Camren, and that because of that, Camila was starting to feel uncomfortable and wanted to distance herself.

Lauren clenched her teeth and begged herself not to cry. Nothing she did ever seemed like it was enough. She tried to be a good role model, which seemed to do rather well. People were grateful for that. But when it came to her own life, everyone on the outside was constantly judging. Half of them would be happy she was so close to Camila, but the other half would get nasty and suspicious. When she went to parties and did her own thing, half of them would tell her she was right to do what she wanted, and that of course she could live her own life, as she was only a teenager after all. But the other half was there to shut her down again, telling her that she wasn't being a good role model. And she was so conflicted. She was being pulled three different ways no matter what aspect of her life she was looking at.

She slammed the laptop screen shut and made her way to Camila and Dinah's room. She had tears streaking her cheeks despite how hard she had attempted to hold them back. She gently knocked on the door, "Camila?" She knew they were in there, yet there was no answer. She just opened the door and looked at the bed across the room. Camila had her knees up to her chest and she was reading a book, her glasses perched carefully on the edge of her nose, "Camila, please."

Camila looked up at Lauren and shifted uncomfortably, "Look, Lauren..."

"Just stop it! Just fucking stop it! Please stop ignoring me you're fucking tearing me apart! You're the only person in the entire world who loves me for me. You don't ask me to be anything more than I can be, and you of all people should understand I make mistakes," Lauren said, a little too loudly. She could feel her chest struggle for air as she spoke, "I don't know what I did, but I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I just want you to love me again. You didn't even properly break up with me, you just stopped talking to me, and stopped hugging me, and stopped kissing me, and stopped loving me, and it hurts so much it's ridiculous. You don't understand what you're putting me through."

"Lauren, it's okay, just breathe," Camila said calmly, patting the empty spot on the bed beside her, "Sit down, baby," she said, recognizing that Lauren was about to have an anxiety attack.

"No! You need to tell me what I did wrong! Because all I care about is you! No-one else matters to me but you! I want to know what you think and whatever I did wrong I can fix it I can fix everything if you don't like something about me I'll change, I can change for you!" she said sadly, her face turning bright red, "Because all I want in life is to wake up next to you, and to kiss you, and to hug you, and to talk with you, because you have one of the most beautiful minds I've ever come across! And I want to sing with you and write with you and read with you and be next to you forever because when we're doing all of those things together, I've never felt more whole in my entire life. You complete me."

Camila rushed to her feet, letting her book fall to the ground. She wrapped her arms around Lauren and slowly guided her to the bed so she could sit her down. Camila was almost crying at the honesty of Lauren's words. One of the things she loved about Lauren was how genuine she was. Which is what made her speech even more heart breaking. Camila buried her face into Lauren's neck as they hugged, leaving trails of sweet little kisses across her salty skin, "Please stop crying. Please don't cry," she said, her voice breaking.

Lauren's chest still felt incredibly tight, like she was going to lose it at any moment. But somehow Camila's comforting hug and kisses made her calm down a little. She missed having Camila's lips against her skin. She was getting tired of all the crying and sulking alone, with no-one to comfort her, because Camila was ignoring her and no-one else understood her enough to get her to calm down like Camila did.

"I love you, Lauren. I never stopped loving you. And I never will... I just thought... I thought you were getting so fed up with the Camren thing that you might have wanted some space. I mean, everybody... they certainly are invasive and I've always known that this wouldn't be a relationship we could be open about... but... if I'd known that's how you felt, I would have kept this whole paramour thing," Camila sighed, starting to kiss Lauren's jaw.

"You still love me?" Lauren asked, her voice breaking.

Camila nodded, slowly lowering Lauren back onto the mattress, "Dinah isn't feeling well so she's sleeping on the couch," Camila explained, being very careful and gentle as she straddled Lauren's thighs, "But listen. Lauren. I love you more than anything in the whole world. You are my whole world. You're my first love," she whispered, leaning down to kiss Lauren deeply.

Camila's hands trailed straight to Lauren's breasts, caressing and kneading them just the way she liked it, only she was being so gentle and loving. She continued to kiss the older girl as her body still shook slightly from the tears streaming down her face. But at least she wasn't on the verge of a panic attack anymore, "Lauren. Baby," Camila said, pulling away and wiping the tears from her cheeks as her free hand snaked down between Lauren's thighs, "You don't need to cry anymore. Don't think about how sad you were. Think about how happy you can be right now, okay, baby?" She asked, kissing Lauren's nose. The older girl giggled, smiled and scrunched up her face slightly.

Even though the other girls had always told Lauren that she was an ugly crier and they'd always pointed out how her face went bright red and her cheeks went all puffy, Camila still thought she was absolutely beautiful. She kissed her cheeks and her swollen pink lips, and left little love bites along her neck, all as she slipped her hand into Lauren's sweat pants and rested her hand exactly where Lauren needed her, pleasing her in ways that only lovers could please one another. Both emotionally and physically.

And before long, Lauren's body was shaking underneath Camila, but not in a bad way this time. And Camila just continued to kiss her and caress her until the two of them were fast asleep in each other's arms.