The Free Pass

Chapter 20

Mallory

"What do you think, Kris," Vera asked as she spun me around slowly, showing off the up-do she'd spent the last 30 minutes on.

"Perfection!" Kris exclaimed.

The girls were my attendants, along with Aaliyah. Shawn had Matt, Ian, and Brian standing up for him.

Aaliyah took several photos of my hair with her phone. I admired my hairdo in the pics that she showed me. Vera had done an incredible job.

It was time to get changed. None of our attendants were matching since everything had been planned so last minute. That kind of thing was unimportant to me anyway.

My dress was hanging up on the back of the door. It was a pale blush color. My mom had tried to get me to wear white but I'd told her no. I know that no one would care and that most brides aren't virgins when they get married, so pretty much everyone in white is being as hypocritical as I'd be. It wasn't that. It was more that this wasn't exactly a conventional wedding and I didn't want to wear something that traditional.

Kris helped me into the dress. It was ankle length and made of a flowing chiffon material. It had narrow straps and an empire waist, which was essential for my huge belly.

"You are the most beautiful bride ever!" Aaliyah gushed.

I slipped on my cream colored open-toe flats and walked over to my dresser for my jewelry. My mom insisted I wear my grandma's pearls, so I put the earrings, necklace, and bracelet on.

"I think I'm ready," I said after looking at myself in the full length mirror.

We walked downstairs to the family room which looked out onto the garden. I could see our guests sitting in the white folding chairs that my dad and Manny had set up early that morning.

Past the chairs stood Shawn and his friends. Shawn was smiling as he listened to something Matt was saying. He wore a light gray suit with matching gray tie. My mom wanted him to wear a tie that matched my dress, but that was a bit too prom for me, so I shot that idea down.

He looked insanely handsome. It was surreal to think that he would soon be my husband. I was so lucky to have him, yet I felt a sadness creeping over me. We should be in love. Both of us.

"Hold on a sec," I said to my three bridesmaids. I then grabbed my phone off the counter where I'd set it for the ceremony and hurried off to the hall bathroom.

Me: Can we talk?

I waited for Shawn to respond. Nothing. Fuck. Maybe he didn't have his phone on him.

I tapped my foot and debated whether I should ask someone to get him or if I should just save it for later. Later would be too late, though.

There was a knock on the door.

"Mallory?" I heard Shawn ask softly.

I opened the door and pulled him in.

"Wow!" he said with a huge grin. "You look...just...wow."

I blushed. "How did you know I was in here?"

"I got your text and came inside. Vera told me you'd gone to the bathroom. I was worried something was wrong. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, but holy shit, Shawn, this is it!" I said anxiously.

"It is," he said. He leaned forward and gave me a kiss.

"I don't want to do this unless you really want to. Not out of duty or responsibility, but because you want to," I said, my voice trembling.

"I'm here because I want to be here. I want to marry you. Do you want to marry me?" he asked.

I wanted so badly to tell him that I loved him and that marrying him was everything to me, but I couldn't. That would be pathetic. Instead I just nodded my head.

"I'm going to go back out, okay? I'll see you out there in a minute." He kissed me again and left.

I decided to pee while I was in the bathroom, since it was an hourly need these days. When I stepped out of the bathroom, my mom and dad were waiting right there.

"All set?" my mom asked. I could see she was concerned. My dad looked anxious. I think they'd both sensed I was having reservations.

"I'm ready," I said with a smile.

The bridesmaids walked out and took their spots and then my parents walked me out to the makeshift altar comprised of an archway of flowers.

The ceremony was not long. The pastor spoke for a bit about the sanctity of marriage before proceeding to the vows.

"Do you, Shawn, take Mallory to be your wife, to cherish in friendship and love today, tomorrow, and for as long as the two of you live, to trust and honor her, to love her faithfully, through the best and the worst, whatever may come, and if you should ever doubt, to remember your love for each other and the reason why you came together with her this day?"

Shawn's face was solemn as he listened to the vows. When the pastor was done, Shawn turned to me and we had a long second of eye contact. In that short time I wondered if he was hesitating, or was he just showing that he was taking the vows seriously? My god, the word "love" was used so much in the vow. Maybe he couldn't agree to what was essentially a lie.

"I do." He then smiled at me and squeezed my hand.

"Do you, Mallory, take Shawn to be your husband, to cherish in friendship and love today, tomorrow and for as long as the two of you live, to trust and honor him, to love him faithfully, through the best and the worst, whatever may come, and if you should ever doubt, to remember your love for each other and the reason why you came together with him this day?"

The last line struck me. "...the reason why you came together with him this day."

I looked down at our joined hands that were right next to my growing belly. Even if he did not love me, we did have a good reason for this union.

"I do."

We moved on the the exchanging of rings. Matt handed them to us.

The pastor said the ring vow and we each repeated it as we placed the rings on each other's fingers.

"With this ring, I thee wed, and with it, I bestow upon thee all the treasures of my mind, heart, and hands."

The pastor concluded the ceremony. "Now that you, Shawn and Mallory, have confirmed your love and vows, stay close and cling tenderly yet tightly as you continue your journey through this world. Trust one another and be gentle with your feelings. Cherish your dreams and share your joys and pains. Let the times you fall short be few and be forgiven. And let the times you surpass your needs and hopes be many. Believe in each other. Desire not to change or possess, but only to know each other honestly and completely. Respect your individuality and the things that make you each unique; but likewise honor your togetherness and the things that make you one. Care for each other truly and deeply, putting your commitment to one another before all else. Live for your love and your love will live forever. May all the beautiful gifts that come with the promises of a long loving marriage bring never-ending happiness to you both. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."