The Free Pass

Chapter 30

Mallory

I don't know why I felt that I had to ask if he'd fucked the bartender, but something inside my brain was screaming at me to ask. Maybe it was that he'd been with her so late at night, or maybe it was because they were clearly close. Who knows. I had to ask.

"Have you ever had sex with this bartender?" I asked.

Shawn hesitated just long enough that he didn't even have to answer. I knew.

"I did. Once. Only once," he said.

"When?"

"Right before we were married."

I nodded my head. It all made sense. "So she was your free pass?"

He looked away from me, "Yes."

Just then, the nurse walked in with an orderly.

"We have your room ready! We're just going to move you to this wheelchair and then we'll be on our way. Mallory, I'm going to hold the baby while James helps you off the bed and into the chair."

Once I was situated, the nurse handed me the baby. We left the delivery room and made our way down the hall and to the elevator.

"Here you go!" the nurse said cheerfully as she opened the door to the large single room. "Let's get you changed before you get in the bed."

She took the baby and put her in the bassinet before guiding me to the bathroom. She helped me remove the hospital gown I'd had on for delivery, handing me a fresh clean one. She also helped me put on some special panties that I could put an ice pack and pad in. The ice felt divine.

When I was done, the orderly got me up in the bed, while the nurse held Grace again.

Once I got comfortable, or as comfortable as was possible considering what I'd been through, I took the baby back. Shawn and I were soon alone again.

"I don't want to talk about this anymore today," I said. "I want to just enjoy our daughter. I want you to enjoy today, too."

"Thank you," he said.

"But Shawn, eventually we're going to have to talk."

"I know."

"Why don't you go home and shower and drink some coffee. You smell like bourbon. Come back quickly, though."

He nodded. "I'm so sorry," he said, his voice cracking.

I knew he was sorry. I could tell in his expression, his tone, and his words. I almost felt bad for him. It wouldn't be easy for him to live with not being there for me when I needed him most. At the same time, I felt such anger towards him for what he'd done. I wasn't ready to forgive him quite yet.

Shawn left and his parents joined me in the room. They took turns holding the baby, both so proud of their first grandchild.

"Congratulations, Mallory. You did a great job," Manny said as he swayed back and forth, Grace asleep in his arms.

"Are you tired, sweetie?" Karen asked. "You can try to sleep."

I shook my head. "The nurse said a snack was on the way and I'm starving. I might nap later."

Not long after that, my nurse brought in a tray with food. "You'll get a full breakfast a bit later," she explained. "It's too early for a real meal right now."

I'd forgotten that it was basically the middle of the night.

I ate the chicken salad sandwich and fruit and drank the glass of OJ. It felt good to have something in my system.