The Free Pass

Chapter 28

Mallory

After the incredibly tense and uncomfortable talk with Shawn, I locked myself in the bedroom. This was childish, I know. Plus, it was technically his room, so that made it extra obnoxious. I thought he might try to talk about things more, but I was relieved when he didn't. He'd been drinking. If we needed to talk, we could do it tomorrow when he was sober. I wasn't sure how any further conversations would go. What was left to say?

I hated that I'd revealed that I loved him, but it was probably inevitable. My feelings were too strong to keep them hidden from him forever. I felt pathetic. Unrequited love sucked, but it was worse now that he knew.

I changed into my sleep shirt and washed my face and brushed my teeth. I crawled into bed and curled into a ball on my side. I missed having him next to me. I missed the comfort of his long arms around me. This made me wonder if he'd ever sleep with me again. What if what I said changed everything?

This made me cry.

I cried myself to sleep only to be awoken by a sharp pain. It felt like my belly was being squeezed. I sat up in bed, startled by the intense feeling.

I'd had plenty of Braxton-Hicks contractions, which were totally normal. This felt different. This really hurt.

I went in the bathroom to pee. The pain subsided and I assumed it was nothing. I got a drink of water and went back to bed. Within 10 minutes I had another pain. It was bad enough that I cried out.

I needed to get Shawn.

It hurt to walk, but I got up and went down the hall to the living room. I could see the blanket on the couch and felt guilty for making him sleep out here. I flipped on the light and saw that Shawn wasn't under the blanket.

"Shawn?" I called out, though he obviously wasn't in the room. The condo floor plan was open and I could see he wasn't in the dining room or kitchen, either.

I made my way back down the hall and peeked in his small office/studio. He wasn't there. Maybe he was in the baby's room. I opened the door and saw it was empty, too.

Another pain, which I was now fairly certain was a contraction, hit me and I doubled over.

I went back in the bedroom and picked up my phone, hoping he'd texted me about wherever the fuck he'd gone.

Nothing.

I tried calling him and it went straight to voicemail. I texted him.

Me: I don't know where you are, but I need you to come home.

Me: I think I'm in labor.

He didn't respond. It hit me that when a guy sneaks out in the middle of the night, it's always a bad thing. In fact, what was flashing in front of my brain like a neon sign was 'he's with another woman!'

What if he'd taken me up on the free pass and had continued the affair? It wasn't impossible, right? Just because we had great sex didn't mean he wasn't getting it someplace else, too.

Another contraction hit. As I gritted my way through it, I told myself I was being crazy. Maybe he'd just gone to a hotel. Or maybe he ran out to get something to eat.

I picked my phone up again. I needed to get to the hospital. I needed help. I dialed the only other number that could help me.

"Hello?" I heard Karen say groggily on the other end. I'd obviously woken her up.

"Karen? It's Mallory. I think I'm in labor."

"Oh! Mallory! That's exciting. Are you and Shawn headed to the hospital?"

I tried to hold back the tears but I couldn't. "H-he's not here. C-can you come get me?"

"What do you mean he's not there?"

"I-I don't know where he is."

I could hear Karen swear under her breath.

"How far apart are your contractions, honey?" she asked, her voice calm.

"I don't know. Maybe five minutes? I-I haven't timed them."

"Call your doctor. Start timing them. If they get any closer, call an ambulance. We're on our way right now."

"Okay," I said. "Please hurry."

We said goodbye and I called the emergency number for my OB. The 24 hour call service took my info and five minutes later my doctor called me. I ran through everything with her.

"I'll meet you at the hospital," Dr. Abbott said. "You are only about two weeks early, so there's no increased risk. Try to do some of the breathing exercises you've learned and relax between contractions."

When we got off the phone, I packed my overnight bag. I went in the bathroom and took a quick shower. This seemed to slow the contractions slightly. I towel-dried my hair and put it in a ponytail. I then got dressed, though a contraction made this difficult.

Every five minutes I checked my phone. No word from Shawn.

Manny and Karen arrived about ten minutes after I finished getting ready. They helped me down to their SUV which was parked at the curb. Fifteen minutes later, I was in the hospital being admitted.

"Mallory, sweetheart, we need to try to find Shawn," Manny said after I'd been set up in a labor and delivery room. "Do you have any idea where he might be?"

I shook my head. The tears started falling again. "We sort of had a fight. I g-guess he left."

"I've been trying to reach him but calls go straight to voicemail," Karen said. "I'm going to text him that we're at the hospital."

Just then, my doctor walked in. She had a smile on her face until she saw me. Karen quickly pulled her aside and explained the situation in a hushed voice.

"Let's check how far along you are, Mallory," Dr. Abbott said as she patted my arm to comfort me.

She discreetly reached under the blanket and checked my cervix. "5 centimeters. That's great!"

I was already halfway dilated. It was very possible my husband was not going to make the birth of our child. Wasn't that why I'd moved to Toronto? So he'd be there for this? My worst fears ran through my head again. Could he be with another woman right now?

"If you want an epidural, now is the time to get one. You seem to be progressing well without one, so I do think you could do this naturally, if that's still your plan."

"I'd prefer to do this without medication," I said. This was something Shawn and I had talked about a lot recently. I'd been reading about it and I wanted to try natural childbirth. He supported whatever I wanted and had even read up on being a coach through labor.

"We will probably break your water at some point, if it doesn't break on its own. I'll check back with you in about 20 minutes," the doctor said before leaving

Right after she left, another contraction hit. Manny stepped in and took my hand, letting me squeeze it as hard as I wanted. I did my best to breathe the way I'd practiced. Soon the pain subsided. We got through four more contractions like this with Manny by my side and Karen coaching me though the breathing.

"Can you hand me my phone please, Karen?" I said after a particularly bad labor pain had passed.

She went in my purse and pulled it out. I took it and saw I had a text from Shawn.

Shawn: I'm on my way