The Free Pass

Chapter 22

Mallory

I was very sad when I had to say goodbye to Shawn the day after our wedding. We'd had a nice Easter lunch with my family and his. I then drove him and his family to the airport on my way back to Charlottesville.

"I'll see you in ten days for the check-up," he said as he pulled the luggage out of the trunk. "And I'm staying for two days. It won't be as quick a trip as it usually is."

I hugged his family goodbye, and they went into the terminal leaving me and Shawn by the car to say goodbye alone.

"Goodbye, Mrs. Mendes," he said before giving me a long kiss.

Jesus. This was one of those times when I thought maybe he felt the same way about me as I felt about him.

"Have a safe flight," I said as he walked away.

I waited for him to look back over his shoulder at me or to maybe even come back for another kiss. Nope. He just kept walking. So much for that feeling I'd just had.

Vera and Kris were at the apartment when I got there. They asked me way too many questions about my wedding night which I managed to successfully evade. Once they were done lovingly giving me a hard time, I went to my room to study. It was important to me to finish strong in school even though I had no plans to look for a job in the immediate future.

This was something that bummed me out. I'd always had big dreams for my career and now that had all crumbled. I knew I could have a baby and work, in fact I had mad respect for all the women who did that, but my degree was in public policy and I wanted to work in politics. I'd be living in Canada and wouldn't be a citizen there. Even if I eventually got citizenship, I wasn't exactly electable as someone who was born and raised in the US.

I'd decided that I could do a couple different things, though. I'd always loved writing, so I could work on editorial pieces with hopes various political journals would publish them. If that didn't work, I could always go back to school. Surely there was a university in Toronto that had a program that would interest and excite me.

I wasn't doing anything for at least a year, though. I'd been reading a lot of books on infancy and I wanted to breastfeed the baby exclusively. I also had Shawn's commitments to think about.

~~~~~~

"I'm going to send you over to radiology for an ultrasound when we're done here," the doctor said during my exam.

"Is everything okay?" Shawn asked, and the slight panic in his voice reflected how I was feeling, too.

"The baby is fine, but it's measuring a little big. I want to look at the head size to determine if you possibly need a scheduled c-section."

I frowned. Things were already so complicated with me moving right after graduation while I was nine months pregnant. This was not what I wanted to hear.

Two hours later I was getting an ultrasound done.

Shawn and I watched as the technician took multiple measurements. When he was done, he showed us the baby's face. I started crying because it was amazing to see our baby, especially since it had grown and changed quite a bit since the last sonogram. He printed a bunch of pictures for us.

"So the baby is measuring about a week ahead right now," he told us as he wiped the gel off my belly.

"What's that mean?" Shawn asked.

"It means that you either have the conception date wrong, or it's a big baby. Looking at you and your height, my guess is that you are having a big baby. Probably over 21 inches and over 9 pounds if you go full term."

"The conception date is right," I said.

The last thing I needed was Shawn questioning that, because that would lead to him questioning if the baby was his. I hadn't been with anyone else, so I knew the truth, but he was putting his trust in me until the blood tests were done.

After the exam, Shawn and I grabbed dinner out. I'd been craving Mexican food, so we went to a place not far from his hotel.

"I seriously cannot get enough guacamole these days," I said as I shoved another chip laden with the delicious green dip into my mouth.

"Do you want to get more?" he asked, grinning.

Poor guy had maybe had two chips worth and it was almost gone.

"Yes, please," I said.

"You having any other new cravings," Shawn asked after he'd told the waitress to bring another round of guac.

"As cliché as it is, I've been eating pickles 24/7. No ice cream, though. It makes me gassy."

He laughed. "Good to know."

After I'd polished off my chimichanga and he ate his burrito, we headed to his hotel.

We had some fantastic sex, though finding a comfortable position had been tricky. I had to either be on my side or up on my knees. Shawn was fine either way, in fact I think he liked having to get creative.

"I'm headed to Malibu for about a week," Shawn told me as I lay in his arms.

"Yeah? What for?"

"I'm going to do some recording. I have a few songs ready to go. Some time opened up at The Woodshed, which is the place I always use, so I jumped on it. I'll record the rest in Toronto this summer."

"If you need to stay there longer, go ahead and do it. If you miss the next appointment in two weeks, it's not a big deal."

"I like the appointments, and I want to see you," he said, kissing my head.

I smiled. I loved it when he was so sweet.

"Hey, Shawn?"

"Hey, Mallory?" he said mimicking me.

"Let's say I didn't get pregnant and you had contacted me again. What do you think would have happened between us?"

"I don't know, and since I definitely wasn't looking to enter into a relationship, it's hard to say if anything would have happened."

"Let's day you'd met me again in five years when maybe you were ready to settle down a bit. Would you have even considered dating me, like regularly?"

Shawn brushed some hair out of my face and tucked it behind my ear. "Why all the hypotheticals?"

I shrugged.

"If what you want to know is if I would have liked you enough to start something, then the answer is yes. You know I like you, Mal. A lot. I'm here, right? I'm your husband, for god's sake."

"I'm sorry. I just wondered if we would have had a shot in an alternate scenario. I guess I don't want to think that you are only here because I'm pregnant."

"I'm here because you are pregnant, but I'm also here because you are you. There are dozens of other women I hooked up with who, if I'd impregnated them, I'd have had a very hard time marrying."

"None of them probably would have had a father threatening to ruin your reputation, though."

"Your dad played a very minor role in my ultimate decision to marry you, honey."

That was good to know, but it bothered me that my dad was what started everything. Obviously I would have tracked Shawn down and told him I was pregnant, but I suspect things would have turned out differently.

"What do you want to do tomorrow?" I asked him, changing the subject.

"You have class, yeah?"

"I do. But most of my day is wide open."

"How about I take you to a spa where you can get a pregnancy massage, a facial, and a pedicure?" he suggested.

"And what will you do?"

"Oh, I'll get the same things. I'm not passing up a chance for pampering."

"That sounds like a plan. We have to get me some chips and guac, though. I'm already craving it again."

"Deal."