The Free Pass

Chapter 49

Shawn

I'm not an idiot.

Okay, so maybe sometimes I could be. Obviously it was stupid of me to go months without realizing I was in love with my wife.

But about this, I wasn't.

I knew that what Mallory thought the things going on around her while she was in a coma were dreams. She'd heard everything I'd said to her. I'm not sure why she thought it wasn't real, but she did. It hurt to think that she maybe thought the likelihood of me saying I loved her was so low that it could only be a dream.

It would be so much easier if she knew it was real. If she told me she'd heard me say I loved her, I wouldn't be so stressed now. My anxiety level was way up because I had no idea how to tell her how I felt. I hadn't said anything yet because she'd been so overwhelmed, emotional, and confused from coming out of the coma. The timing had not been right.

But now it was time.

Of course I could just blurt it out. I could try to work it into a conversation. Or I could put it in a song and serenade her. There were numerous possibilities. Nothing really felt right. I wanted it to be special and meaningful but not over the top. I didn't want how I did it to distract from the words I was saying.

Mallory had been home for three days. I woke up on the third morning and looked at my phone. The date jumped out at me. It was September 21.

September 21 was the day we met. What do cutesy couples on social media always call it? A meetaversary. A year ago today we'd conceived our baby girl, although that may have happened after midnight. No need to nitpick about the details.

The wheels started turning in my head. Maybe I could plan something special for tonight. That might give me the opportunity to let Mallory know how I felt.

I was in the nursery since Mal was using the master bedroom. I wanted to stay in my room with her, mainly to keep an eye on her. I was in constant fear that she'd suddenly get sick again. Of course, I also wanted to be close to her, since I missed having her in my bed at night. I kept my distance, though. Hopefully we'd be regularly sharing a bed soon.

I got out of bed and threw some sweats on over my boxers. I looked in the crib. Gracie was still sleeping. As quietly as possible, I left the room and went to the kitchen where I made myself some coffee.

I took my drink and went into the living room to try to come up with a plan for tonight.

Dinner was the obvious choice. We couldn't exactly go out. Mallory was not up to that yet and there was no way she'd leave Grace, even if it was with my parents for a couple hours. I could get dinner delivered, though.

"Good morning," Mal said as she walked into the living area. "I'm having a coffee today. It's not like Grace will get my milk."

"You've missed your coffee, yeah?" I asked as I hit the home button on my phone so that she couldn't see what I'd been googling.

"You have no idea," she said as she made a mug. She added her usual generous amounts of sugar and cream.

I heard Grace over the monitor. "Baby's up. I'll get her. You drink your coffee."

I padded off to the nursery where I scooped Grace up into my arms, making her laugh. After I'd changed her, I brought her to the kitchen where I deftly made her a bottle with my one free hand. I took her into the living room and sat on the couch next to my wife. Grace hungrily sucked on the bottle.

"I have a doctor's appointment today," Mallory said.

"Oh shit. I'd forgotten. What time?"

"Not until 10. We've got hours."