The Free Pass

Chapter 11

Shawn

"Then let's talk," Mallory said.

I stood up and paced for a minute while I gathered my thoughts. When I felt they were composed, I turned to her.

"Today, at the ultrasound appointment, it was huge for me," I said.

She smiled up at me, her blue eyes shining brightly. "Me, too."

"I fell in love with our baby today."

Her mouth opened as if she was going to speak, but she stopped. I could see tears forming in her eyes.

"I know you've felt a connection to the baby since the start. I have, too, but only to a limited extent. Before today, there were times when I'd play the recording I took of the baby's heartbeat just to remind myself that it existed and that it was mine. Today, everything changed."

"Shawn..."

"Let me keep going. I need to say what I want to say. Okay, honey?"

She nodded.

"I realized today that the baby, our baby, is the most important thing in the world to me. I know it's the same for you. It's been that way for a while for you, and I'm sorry I've taken so long to come around."

I sat down next to her and took both of her hands in mine.

"Mal, every decision we make about us is going to impact that baby growing inside you. We have so much power over its life. This means we need to do everything right."

She nodded again but didn't interrupt.

"Our baby needs both of us, and I know we already came to that conclusion when you decided to move to Toronto. But we need to be more than two parents living in the same home. We need to be a family."

Mallory wiped away the tears that were falling down her rosy cheeks.

"I've thought about marriage for a while, but I'm not going to lie to you. At first I saw it as a way to get your dad off my ass and as the best solution for me in terms of public relations. I feel differently now."

"You do?"

"I want us to get married for our baby. It's the best thing we could do for it. I'm committed to this relationship and to trying to make it work, not just until it's okay to get a divorce. I mean really try."

I reached into my pocket and pulled out the simple 2 carat diamond ring I'd bought that afternoon.

"Mallory Everett, will you marry me?"

She looked at the ring and then looked at me. "Do you even love me, Shawn? I understand that your intentions are good and pure and out of love for our baby, but do you love me?"

I took a deep breath and took the biggest risk of my life. I told her the truth.

"I don't love you, Mal. Not yet. I feel love for you, because you are the mother of my child, but I'm not in love with you."

"Then we shouldn't get married," she said, her voice catching and her bottom lip quivering.

I pulled her closer to me. "We're good together. You know that. We just haven't had a chance to fall in love. Give us that chance and marry me."

"But that's backwards. We should be in love when we get married. That's how it's done."

I shook my head. "We've done everything backwards so far and things are fine. If someone had told me in November after that meeting with your dad that I'd be begging you to marry me, I'd have laughed in their face. But here we are, and I am begging you. Marry me, Mal, give us a chance for our baby's sake."

"This is really what you want? You want us to get married and try to make it work for real?" she asked.

"Yes. This is what I want. But you need to want it, too. I know you are not in love with me, either, but if there's a small chance that you could be one day, we should do it."

She hesitated for a long second. "This could be the biggest mistake of our lives"

"Or it could be the best mistake we've ever made, other than having the drunk unprotected sex that created the beautiful baby inside you."

"You love the baby that much, huh? Enough to take a risk by marrying someone you don't love."

"Yeah, I do. I want to do this," I said.

"Okay. I want this, too."

She held out her hand and I slipped the ring on her finger.

I leaned forward and gave her a soft kiss. She gasped and pulled back abruptly.

"Oh my god! Shawn! I think I just felt the baby move!" She put her hands on her stomach. "I can feel little flutters, but I can't feel them on the outside."

"Baby Mendes is obviously happy that mom and dad are getting married," I joked.

She sat there quietly as the baby apparently kept moving around. Eventually she turned her focus back to me.

"It stopped. Probably sleeping now."

"Hey, Mal, when do you want to get married?"

She took my hands in hers. "We just got engaged."

"I know, but I'd like to do it before the baby is born."

"Jesus, Shawn, has my dad rubbed off on you? Are you concerned about having the baby without being married? Because I really don't mind. I've got enough going on with school."

"I can't really explain it, but I'd like to do it right. I want to get married first."

"We haven't even officially gone public, yet," she said.

"Then let's do that. Right now."

I pulled Mallory close to me and opened the camera on my phone. I took a bunch of selfies of the two of us, making sure the ring on her finger was not visible. As we looked at them, one stood out. She was looking at the camera with a slight smile. I was looking at her.

"I like this one," I said.

"Me, too. So you're just going to put it out there on social media?"

I nodded. "Change your accounts to private if they aren't already, because things could get crazy. I'm going to post the picture with a heart as the caption. That will say it all."

"While you do that, I'm going to pee. I swear it's the hundredth time today," she said as she walked to the bathroom.

"Here goes nothing," I muttered to myself as I posted the picture first to Twitter and then go Instagram. I then set my phone down.

Mallory returned from the bathroom and stood in front on me.

"If you really want to get married before the baby comes, we could maybe do it Easter weekend," she said. "It's in April. We could get married at my parents' house."

I smiled at her. "Are you okay with that?"

"As long as it's a very simple wedding, I'm fine with it. I have a week off for spring break in March. We can plan everything then."

I pulled her onto my lap. "We're going to make this work, hun. Our baby is going to be raised in the most loving family ever."

She gave me a long kiss. I kissed her back even deeper. It was obvious where the kiss was leading. I may not have been in love with my fiancée, but god did I want her.