The Free Pass

Chapter 67

Shawn

Our discussion pretty much ended after I said it was clear what the results were going to say.

Mallory first tried to convince me that it could easily go either way, but my gut was telling me that wasn't true. Gracie wasn't mine. The sooner I accepted that, the better.

I slept in the guest room after taking a pain pill. It wasn't that I wanted to be away from Mal. Truly, I wanted her next to me. It was more that I couldn't be in our room. I didn't want to look at the hole in the wall and be visually reminded of my intense the pain and anger. I was working hard to not let those feelings overtake me again.

The next day was Monday. Mal and Gracie were both up when I entered the kitchen. I was about to kiss Gracie's head as she sat in the high chair, but I stopped myself at the last minute. It would only make it harder.

"I called a contractor," Mal said. "He's coming by tomorrow to fix the wall."

"Good. Thanks."

"I need to shower. Can you feed Grace some rice cereal?"

I sighed. I really didn't want to, but I had no excuse not to. Playing guitar made me practically ambidextrous, so I could easily feed her with my uninjured hand.

Mal prepared the bowl of cereal and put a bib on Gracie. She then went to our bedroom. I took a seat in front of the high chair. Using my left hand, I got a small scoop of cereal on the baby spoon.

"Open up," I said flatly as I brought the spoon near her mouth.

Gracie did not open up. In fact, she frowned at me. She had the tiniest eyebrows, but there they were, furrowed on her face.

"Come on. Open your mouth," I said with a tinge of irritation in my voice.

She stared at me with a slight look of surprise. That expression quickly changed. Her bottom lip started to quiver. Within seconds she let out a cry.

"Hey, Grace. Don't do this. I can't lift you out of there and mama is in the shower. Just eat your cereal."

She cried harder, which broke me. My tone of voice upset her, and I'd actually made her sad enough to cry. What the fuck was wrong with me? What kind of asshole had I become? I felt terrible for letting my issues impact how I treated her. She wasn't to blame for any of this.

"Baby, please stop. Don't cry, honey," I said in the voice I always used when I comforted her.

I put the spoon back in the bowl and used my good thumb to wipe away the fat tears that sat on top of her chubby cheeks.

She stopped crying and looked at me like she was waiting for something.

"I'm sorry, Gracie. I shouldn't take this out on you. I love you, sugar. I love you so much," I said soothingly before I leaned forward and gave her several kisses on her head.

She smiled and opened her mouth.

~~~~~~

Mallory handed the drywall guy a check and walked him to the door. He'd repaired the hole on Tuesday and had come back today to sand it and paint.

"I'm going to go down to the lobby to get the mail," Mal called from the foyer.

She was back five minutes later.

"The paternity test kit came," she said as she joined me in the living room where I'd been sitting on my phone. I was getting remarkably good at using my iPhone one-handed.

I looked up at her. "I'm not taking it."

Mal stood there, the package in one hand, the other hand on her hip.