Thoughts: unbalanced

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I'm writing this on a napkin.

My mother has been monitoring me all of the time.

I feel so unbalanced. So unstable.

I hate Josh. I hate him for saving me, for making it to where I can't be relieved from this pain. I can't breathe.

Most of all,

I hate myself.

And this whole damned world.

Stupid Josh.

-El.

• • •

El folded the napkin and placed it in her pocket as her mother came back from the bathroom. Her mother drove home from the restaurant. El saw Josh on a porch, it was raining hard. She watched as he set off running down the street through the side mirror.

The farther away he is from me the better, El thought to herself.

The farther away he is from me the better, El thought to herself

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