my babygirl → jack gilinsky

chapter forty nine ♡

lillian ♡

we sat there, just looking at each other.

but i don't know if this even feels right anymore, of course i want this, i want him, more than anything but what if he leaves again?

what if another tour comes along and he just leaves again, i don't want to get hurt again.

"i wanna fix this, fix us." he whispered.

i looked away for a moment.

i didn't know what to say. i loved him, screw that.

i do love him, and all i want is to fix us but i can't. not when there's a chance he could leave again.

"i-i need to take a shower" i said and got up, walking in the bathroom and shutting the door. and locking it.

i started the water but i didn't need to take a shower, i took one this morning before i left.

i slid against the door and sat there, with my knees to my chest, i don't want to regret this in the end.

i didn't regret it, not anything with him, of course not. but i just don't want to be left heartbroken again for someone else to pick the pieces up.

i knew sammy was only with me so i wasn't upset about jack, he was only dating me to cheer me up, yes i knew that, i could tell all along.

i played along because i knew if i was alone again, i'd be in my dark spot, i needed someone to hold on and not let go for awhile.

i was staring at the ground, deep in my thoughts and forgot to lock the other side of the bathroom that leads to another room.

the door opened, and jack looked at me, i met his eyes.

he walked in and closed the door, he saw the shower running so he turned it off.

he knew too. then he sat next to me, just like it was.

i looked at him and he was already looking at me.

"is it sammy? or someone else? is there someone else?" he was asking me.

no, nobody else. never.

"no, nobody else" i said.

"then what is it, lily? because, i thought you loved me and wanted this, just as much as i do." he said.

"i do, jack, i do love you. but, i-i don't want to get hurt again." i said, the truth coming out.

he turned, so his whole front body was now facing me, my hands hanging off my knees, he grabbed them.

"i won't, i know i hurt you when i left, i hurt myself, for leaving you, and i don't want to do that again, i'm not. okay, i'm not. i love you, lily, i love you and i want to be with you and if a tour comes around, we can talk about it, together." he said.

his words melted my heart, the way they always do.

"okay" i whispered, tears rolling down my face.

"i promise" he said. i just nodded my head and wrapped my arms around him, in a hug, i wanted to stay here forever.

he's all i need.

he's all i'll ever need.

he's all i want.

he's all i'll ever want.

and i know for a fact that i love jack finnegan gilinksy.

i know, i'm in love with him, and i absolutely know i want to be with him for the rest of my life.

and i can't imagine, being with anyone else, marrying anyone else, having kids with anyone else, raising beautiful babies with anyone else but him.

i pulled away from the hug and looked him in the eyes.

"i love you" i said.

"and i love you" he said back, our lips connecting.

and a firework show going on around us.