Bessa

Hard Hunger 4/4

His heartbeat pulls away

The warmth of his body doesn't linger too much longer after he gets off me.

"Don't I deserve my own space inside you that I don't have to share?" Looking at him standing to his full height. Shielding my eyes, I've never seen a full grown male exposed in that way before.

My face burns.

"You deserve to not share the inside of me, you deserve more." His voice falters.

"I do deserve more, I deserve a male that I can dream about at night. I deserve a male who will keep my stomach full. I deserve a male who only has room for me in their chest. I deserve to be feed from a worthy male." Not shielding my eyes any longer from his masculinity. Making sure he sees where I am looking.

"I deserve better." Crying out to him.

Silence.

"I'll be better for you." His voice holds stable, while my breathing refuses to calm itself down.

"No you won't, I won't let you be. I will get what was left for me by you. A male who is only good enough to rut me like a breeding whore and pump a pup into my belly."

"It will be more than that between us." He's so sure it infuriates me.

"Not if I don't let it." A new fortitude making my spine straighter while lying with my back to him in bed.

"I've never had a male between my legs before."

"I've never been between the legs of a female."

"You should have been, but you did see between her legs. I've never seen a grown male before, you're the first I have seen."

"Bessa, I can't change the past." A low-Grade faulting to his sound.

"I can't change our future." Telling him this between rising sobs.

"I was taught to save myself for you, not to touch myself for too long in fear of giving myself an orgasm. We were taught that our mates were the only ones to give ourselves to properly. I was taught that my first orgasm belongs to my mate, only him. I don't own it but he does, and it will be worth saving." The tears slide easily down my cheek, inside my mouth wetting the Silks that are bunched up at my head as a pillow.

"You gave yours away, you gave everything away, and I'm left with just the fucking. There is nothing left for you to give me. The space in your heart is too small for two females to live inside there, I don't want to be in there anyways. Let her stay there, don't ever forget her because I won't." It's a long cry I let myself have; I cry until the candle goes out, I cry until he needs to restock the stove again.

There is a silent pain to him touching against my chest, but I brush his away to solely focus on mine.

My pain is more than his...

The Wild's hot breath is felt once again on my neck. A whimpering cry from him and I can't help but cling to him, putting my face into the fur of his chest to heave my screams out.

It's screams of madness that I'm afraid my mind will break like my heart is.

My eyelids feel bruised when I open them, they feel puffy, holding water to cause my vision to see through lids that half open. 

There is a burn to my sight...A lingering reminder how much I cried.

I'm not sure if it's morning or night, a new candle is casting the darkness to the edges of the room.

The persistent dark does things to your mind over time. Days, nights, hours mingle together.

I've been unable to make a sound for several days. There is nothing I want to open my mouth for but food. I cover myself at all times, even my eyes with the unique material my mother packed me.