Bessa

Earning Trust

The long night condemns them in this house with me.

Odin paces.

"Why is she making dinner?" Asking his father quietly. Not quietly enough for me not to hear his tone. 

"She wants to cook."

"Why?"

"Because your mother wants to make us a meal."

"I don't think it will be good. I'm not eating it." His nose goes up. Arms crossed over his chest, Ryeson follows.

"If you don't eat it, I will make you eat it." A warning rumble within an Alpha's chest towards a male who thinks he's the boss.

Setting the table quietly. Pretending I'm not listening, but it's all I can hear.

"It's ready," talking softly to pups that look on with distrust.

"I'm not hungry." Odin's chin lifts - his father stands with Elska to sit at the table. 

"I could hold her while you eat." Stretching my hands out for her.

"She doesn't like you, Mother." Odin's voice throws my hands down. In his eyes, I can see he doesn't like me too much either.

"Elska loves your Mother, Odin." There is a hard bite out from father to son.

He stretches her out for me to take, her feet pull in. Screaming instantly. Not crying but scream out as if she is in physical pain of having her mother touch her. Holding her close to my chest, she wants nothing to do with me. Her face is turned away; her entire body is rigid. 

"Here, take her." Trying to hand her back.

"She's fine. She has a temper. Let her cry. It doesn't bother me." He spoons the rice on my plate first, then his males. He is last to take his share.

Nothing can be heard over Elska crying. Not Odin's grumbling that it tastes disgusting. Ryeson won't eat instead he sucks his thumb.

"If you don't eat what's on your plate you don't eat for the rest of the night." Their father talks between bites of food. 

"This tastes very good, Bessa. What spice did you use?" Somehow he's talking louder than Elska's screams.

"Saffron."

"It's delicious," he takes another bite. I have to bite the inside of my mouth to keep from crying. Odin won't eat, Ryeson won't stop sucking his thumb and Elska I think might stop breathing with the way she is carrying on.

"Are you not going to eat, Odin, Ryeson?" The Savage looks at them in the eyes.

"I'm not hungry." Odin eyes me up, not the way sons love Mothers. 

"Then you can both go to bed. Odin, Ryeson go pee first." Their father takes their plates and scrapes the rest on his. Nothing is wasted in the long night.

"I'll be in there after Elska has her bath." It strikes me I haven't tucked them into bed in months.

"I could tuck you in? I could tell you a bedtime story?" Odin puts his arm around Ryeson. "We want our Father."

"Alright," not pushing them.

Handing Elska to her father who instantly stops the murder of her screams. Taking the plates to the sink. Trying to wash them with shaking hands. The chair slowly slides across the wood of the floor. Soft steps approach while tears fall like rain into the dishwater. His plate slowly slides underneath the water.

My head hangs - shoulders slump. 

A kiss placed at the base of my neck. 

Hands grip the side of the sink.