Bessa

Delegations 1/2

Tears spill hot, while the ribs of my chest pull inward to protect my heart.

"I'll never be enough to make you forget about her?"

A deep sigh from the Savage.

"She was a part of my life-" Raising my hand to stop him from saying any more.

"I was part of your life too, how could you easily forget about me but you can't easily forget about her?" Raw bitten words fling outward.

"I loved her." His misery hides underneath the vowels of his sound.

"Loved? Do you not love her anymore?" Harsh bitterness is tasted in the salt of my tears that don't stop the slow drip down my cheeks.

"No, not anymore." His eyes hold mine; there is no looking away.

"You should be ashamed of yourself, all those years that you loved her, all those times spent with her for you not to love her anymore? Less than a year and you no longer love her? All the ruin you've caused between us for you to say, you don't love her anymore." Vileness coats my tongue in a putrid stink of disgust.

"You can't even come through the front door, you lie to yourself saying you don't love her anymore, you lie to me!" My ribs push in protecting something that is in ruin...all that's left is the beat, nothing more.

He takes a step towards me.

...then another.

Pressing his fingers deep into the hinge of my jaw, forcing me to look in his eyes.

Skin against skin.

The bones of my spine shift, shiver and sigh...

"Is that what you think? That I can't walk through the front door because I still love her?" His voice is even, without the violence my voice just held.

...he waits.

Silence encases us completely. The only thing heard is the beating of my heart that is protected by ribs on all sides.

"That's what I think," drips of words fall quietly out from my mouth that is trying to take little breaths in because my lungs are constricting on themselves.

"You're wrong, I can't come through the front not because I still love her but because it's hard to face my shame. It's hard to face what I have done to you. It's hard to look you in the eye and see what I have done to you, what I have done to my right. I don't deserve to walk through the front door." His words bring a renewed scent of salt out. Thick fingers still have my jaw in a sturdy hold.

"I feel it here, Bessa." The palm of his hand presses into the sternum of my chest, heat spreads, warming me.

I shiver, his fingertips stretch out, I can feel the tremor of them as they rest at the base of my throat.

"I feel your hurt. I feel your pain as if it's my pain. What I have done is inexcusable, I own everything that our future brings to us. Also what I have done to her. I should have stopped what was going on. I should have been a mate to you and brother to my brother's mate." His voice is shaky.

"I have no excuses for you. All your hurt, all your torment, all your tears are my doing. All I can do is walk a better path now. A true Moon's path. Honor my pack, honor the Moon, and above all honor you, Bessa." His voice comes out irregular, dipping lower at times as he fights control of his emotions.

"I have a lot of work to do to face the shame of myself." The Savage walks us to the kitchen until my lower back is against the countertop. He lifts me up, to wedge himself between my spread legs. He takes a rag out of the drawer, turning on the tap, so water comes out.