Falling Inevitably

14th Fall

14th Fall

Should I back out now? Umuwi na lang ako sa New York?

I badly want to but I promised my father to help in building this hotel. I sighed as I looked down to his hand. He offered his hand right after what he said. Those hand that I'm yearning for years to touch again.

Wala akong nagawa kung hindi tanggapin ang kamay niya. I instantly felt the tiny electricity with our simple touch. Amazing how it doesn't change over years. I'm can still feel those sparks that he could never feel.

Tumaas mula sa mga kamay namin ang mga mata ko sa mukha niya. I can't really read him specially those emotions in his eyes. Ako ang unang nagbitaw dahil ayaw pa niya ata pakawalan ang kamay ko.

"I personally want to inform you about the meeting tomorrow."

Tumango tango ako sa sinabi niya. Hindi makahanap ng salita para sumagot.

"It'll be on Lexington's, in my office." Sabi pa niya at lumapit sa sofa.

May sinabi pa siyang iba pero hindi na nahagip ng tenga ko dahil napatingin ako sa braso niya. He's wearing a fit black shirt. Siguro ay papunta siya sa site kaya ganito lang ang ayos niya.

I saw how his toned triceps and biceps moved as he reached for the blueprint tube. I gulped. Wala pa rin talagang nagbabago. He still have an effect to me. Kahit simpleng mga galaw niya.

Shit! Amara Vallerie, para lang maalala mo, ikakasal na siya sa kapatid mo. Keep that in mind. Baka mamaya ay hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili na yakapin siya.

I shook my head. Baka nga magawa ko.

"I'll be there. See you, Engr. Lexington."

Thank God I did not stammered. Tinapangan ko na magsalita kasi nakakahiya naman na hindi ako sumagot.

Nilingon niya muli ako at tumango. He's about to say something again but I saw how he stop himself. Ano 'yun? I saw it clearly. Matapos ay naglakad na siya palabas ng office ko. He walked out without saying a word.

Ako naman ay nanghina sa kinatatayuan. Napaupo ako sa swivel chair ko at isinandal ang sarili. Parang nagpipigil ako ng hininga nung nasa loob pa siya ng opisina ko. Pinunasan ang ang ilang butil ng pawis sa aking noo. Ganuon ay kakabado.

My eyes went to the picture frame. Inabot ko iyon at itinayo mula sa pagkakataob. My thumb caress the frame. Nag init bigla ang sulok ng aking mga mata.

I have to do this job as quickly as possible. Gusto ko na bumalik sa New York. With this thought in my mind, I focus on working throughout the day.

"This is nothing. You've been through a lot." I said as I stare at the mirror.

Wearing a white pants, a black fitted spaghetti strap inside my white coat, I confidently at my reflection. Ngayon ang meeting sa Lexington's. Aaminin ko naman na kinakabahan ako. But I must work professionally. This will be my first big project as an Engineer. I want everything to be perfect as possible.

Yet the idea of working with Rigo Psalm seems to bother me more. Thousands of possible circumstances run through my mind. I inhaled deeply.