Falling Inevitably

13th Fall

13th Fall

"I didn't realize it was my brother..."

Migo was shooking his head right after I told him everything. He's my friend years ago and my best friend now. I can't contact Porsha so I called Migo instead. Nagpasundo ako sa kanya sa park kung saan ako nabasa ng ulan.

We end up talking about the past. So I told him the truth about Rigo. Except the part when I had sex with him.

"Yes. Fucked up, right?" I said as I drank the remaining vodka on my glass.

He chuckled as he drank too. We're both fuck up. I know Migo moved on from me. But he's having a complicated relationship with someone I know. Kahit hindi nila sabihin sa akin ay hindi ako tanga at bulag para hindi makita na may namamagitan sa kanila.

"Bakit ba hindi na lang kasi maging tayo? That will be easy." Sabi niya na nagpatawa sa akin.

Yeah, it'll be easy. Kung siya na lang kasi ang nagustuhan ko ay mas madali sana ang lahat. Hindi sana ako nasasaktan ngayon dahil sa nararamdaman ko para kay Rigo Psalm.

"But it will never be the same." Ani ko na nagpaseryoso sa kanya.

"Indeed." He said and deely sighed.

What he felt for me was just an infatuation and what he feel for her is love. Madali lang niya nakalimutan ang nararamdaman para sa akin dahil hindi niya ako mahal.

While I'm still stuck with this one sided love. I love him years ago until today.

Sabi ko pa naman nung umalis ako papunta sa New York ay kakalimutan ko na siya. So I busied myself with school. I have to adapt the lifestyle abroad and it wasn't easy from the very start. The hardest was my first month.

I was alone yet it was fulfilling to my part. I became so much independent.

My parents never bothered to visit me there. My Mom will just call me for an update. I never heard a word from my sister tho. It was actually better. Ayokong makibalita sa kanya dahil kaakibat niya si Rigo Psalm.

I made friends abroad but not as close as I am to Porsha and Migo. Araw araw naman kami magka-video call tatlo. They visited me once. Pero hindi na ito nasundan dahil naging busy na rin sila sa school. Hanggang umabot sa punto na wala na rin kami ng oras makipag video call until early this year. Graduate na kasi kaming lahat ngayon.

I was too busy with my own life and school. I was too busy with something important too. Nawala siya saglit sa isipan ko pero alam ko sa puso ko, lagi siyang nanduon.

Tumunog bigla ang phone ko. Nahinto ako sa pag iisip ko. Alam ko na kung sino ang tumatawag kahit hindi ko tingnan ang caller id nito. I stood up from the sofa.

"Night, Migo." Paalam ko at naglakad na papunta sa guest room.

Migo didn't say a word. Alam naman niya na alam ko na ang pasikot sikot ng condo niya.

Minsan na kaming nag overnight ni Porsha dito nung bagong dating ako sa Pilipinas. Pero asa pa na natulog sa tabi ko si Porsha nung gabing iyon. I shooked my head.

My thoughts and manners were quite change due to the three years of living in New York. Ang pagiging mahiyain ko ay tuluyang nawala duon.