I was Meant to be Yours.

Chapter fourteen

Candy glared at me, her eyes, deep and green cut into my brown ones, 

"I'm s-sorry, j-just give me a moment". I tried to catch my breath as Dipper stared up into my eyes, Bill glared at my mouth and Candy wasn't even looking at me. "T-this, this is my apollogy". Dipper smiled at me, giving me a thumbs up, my mystery twin was forgiving me and I didn't care about anything else. I looked into only Dipper's eyes as I cried, I looked at only Dipper's eyes as the truth spilled out, everything broke from my damn, everything cracked like melted ice. 

"I a loved a girl, cheap blonde hair, beautiful ice eyes, a smile kinder then anything in the world". A took another breath as everyone sneered at me, "I was raped at thirteen years old, then again at fifeteen and twice when I was seventeen". Hushed whispers were heard but all I cared about was Dipper's eyes, a mirror of the better times, when I was happy. "The reason why I let this happen was that I was told to, I was told that-". I took a shaky breath, screaming in my head, "I was told t-that, it would help me, that p=people would like me if I let them do it to me, they said it was cool". 

"I've had several drug addictions ever since I was fifeteen, an alchoholic since fourteen, and I tend to sleep around, my constented virginty was taken when I fifeteen". A few boys in the back seemed to be fake puking, girls were practically fainting, Dipper was crying. 

"Freak", Wendy hushed them giving them a dentention for a weak, "I've lied to more people then I could ever tell you". My fist clenched and unclenched, "I invested in therapy but the terapist was a bust suggesting that maybe I had mental health probelems asking me if I was taking any medications for my schizophrenia. 'This could never have happned to someone as nice as you'. My teeth grinded against each other. 

"School is awful, friends, forget them, I preactically left them all and the others that I still do have, they're, they're crap". Candy screamed in anger, 

"Lies, the bitch is lying". I swallowed before shifitng on my feet, "I wake up every morning and think, Jesus, I'm on the freaking bus again 'cuz all my rides to school are dead". My breathes were shuttery and shaking, "My kind of sort of boyfreind turned out to be gay and my ex-girl friends Pacifica killed herself and I ouldn't have done anything, I love her so much, b-but then, it turns out she didn't think I loved her enough". I fell to my knees, sobbing, "I'd take back everything since that moment after the incindent, all the name calling, all the neglect". 

Tears ran down my face as I tried so hard not to cry, but all I could do was scream in anguish, pracitcally pulling my hair out. Holding myself close, "I would trade my life for Pacifica's in a heart beat, I would commit suicicde for her if it meant she knew I still loved her, a-and, it made everyone I loved go back to the people they should be". My jacket slipped off my shoulder, "I-I'm goin to wake up every morning, I"m going to text her good morning every morning...and the numbers already been shut down, I've made the mistake more times then I've cared to say". Wendy walked over but I held my hand out, pushing her away. 

"I wait for her to call, or I get excited over seeing her at school, b-but, I'm not going to see her". I looked up to see tears streaming down Bill's face too. "I-I, I don't want to do it anymore, I really don't want to wake up with out her smile again. I want to say I'll find more love, I want to say my heart just grew bigger from the excpereince". I was practically gasping for air now, my vision tuurning spotted, "But I wanted everyone to know, Fuck high school, fuck every popular kid in this school and fuck anyone who laid a fricking finger on me". I flipped everyone off running to the bathroom, suicide note in one hand and LSD pill bottle in the other. 

"I'm so sorry Paz, I swear, I'm coming, we can be seventeen together forever". 

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I groaned looking at Mabel as she ran out, noticing the pill bottle in her hands. Dipper wiped away tears running after Mabel, shoving aside the other kids who were chasing after her, teachers trying to heard them away. 

'Bill, what are you doing', I snapped my fingers lounging back in the love seat. 

'I'm enjoying the show my beautiful space dust', 

'Well don't, I need help'.  I grumbled rolling out of my seat rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, 'Why, just let her join her girlfriend in heven, that's what she wants'.

I felt Dipper's tears and immediantly cringed at my words,

 'you better pray to whatever god you beleive in that she survives, 'cause if I don't get to see the only prson left who deserves my love, I'm just going to join her too, because apparently that's what I want'. The link was severed before I could reply, 

"Dipper Pines"! I screamed causing everyone to freeze turning to look at me, I growled, baring my teeth. "What do you want you scum on earth". They looked down stopping there movement as I stormed out the gym doors. 

Fire flicking on my fingers as the smell of desperation stank up the room. Every thing seemed to be sinking. "That boy so owes me for what I'm about to due".