What Was Ours

1d. Morning unravel

I had woken up to the sound of my alarm. Once I turned off my alarm, I realized there was no body next to mine. He had snuck off. I hadn't been expecting him to run off but that would make sense. We both had it clear that this wouldn't go beyond last night. I regret ever making my intentions clear.

I was sure that I would satiate my desire last night but I was wrong. My passion hasn't been extinguished or alleviated by our two rounds of sex. If anything it burned up my desire for more. Where was he? He couldn't be gone.

I stood up to go to the bathroom. I was hopeful to find him there. I didn't bother to knock because there was no noise coming from anywhere. To my pleasant surprise he was there. He, on the other hand, was shocked to see me. Like a scared animal who discovered he was being hunted. He's the prey and I'm the hunter or predator.

"I'm sorry," he stuttered an apology. I didn't need him to apologize for anything. He hadn't done anything wrong. He looked away embarrassed. He was determined to leave, he stood up from the bathtub quickly. For a second, I was scared he would slip. I wasn't throwing him out or suggesting he leave.

My silence must've been a factor into his train of thought. I wasn't sure of what to say. I couldn't ask him to stay or admit that I was married and wanted him to become my lover. All I wanted was him to be there for me. I needed to fulfill my lust for him. It wasn't more than lust. Things weren't fair for him. They weren't fair for anyone in his situation.

I grabbed the towel before he could and wrapped it around him. I patted him dry like I've seen my wife do. He must do the same to keep his skin so soft, intact, flawless. The only marks on his skin were those tainting it red and purple which I left. Those would fade away within days. There were no real marks that would permanently blemish his skin.

I couldn't help but admire him again. He still looked so beautiful. My need to have him in bed again intensified. This man would be my end. I'd deteriorate into nothing.

"Mister Jeon?" He asked with curiosity. His eyes studied my facial expressions carefully. He tried to read what I, myself, wasn't able to. I don't think he succeeded because I haven't either. The only thing I felt was lust.

"Jungkook, my name is Jungkook. You may call me by my name." I wasn't sure what I was doing but this wasn't what I had planned out to do.

Last night had led me to a high I never experienced before. I needed to sober up. I couldn't have him calling me by my first name or say my name again. Yet, I couldn't help myself. I wanted more from this ethereal angel.

I looked at him waiting for a response. He only nodded. He didn't speak much. The few times we've spoken had been limited and he would avoid saying too much. Maybe, he could see my hesitancy when asking to be called by my first name. I was guilty of greed.

Greed to have him all to myself. Greed to relieve last night. Greed to hear last night's sweet noises again and again. I'm greedy.

"Let's have breakfast," I managed to say. Maybe I would make up my mind. I'd decide to leave it here or continue this passionate affair.

"Okay...Jungkook?" I looked at him. "Thank you." The grateful words had to be for not treating him like shit after getting what I wanted. He expected me to be an asshole. I'm sure he heard horrendous stories of one night stands. His was one in a million. I had to be different.

He got dressed and sat down while he waited for the food to be delivered. Meanwhile, I took shower to get ready for the day. I had to be in the office. I only had half hour before I had to be there. I'm risking my position by being late. It wouldn't be a loss. I hated the responsibilities, dedication, and "respect" that the position required.

"Jungkook!" Jin knocked on the door. I opened the door since I was finished. He looked at me and bit his lips. He was going to say something I didn't like. He was easy to read.

"Yes?" I questioned nonchalantly. I was curious why he was anxious. Part of me was saying he wanted to run away.

"I have to go. I've got school. I hadn't noticed the time. Breakfast is here." I looked at my watch and noticed it was too early for college students to start.

"You'll be fine I'll take you home, then to your uni. Let's eat." I sounded demanding. It wasn't my intention to come off demanding. It just seemed like he was rushing without reason.

"No, I can't," he paused. "You don't get it. I'm in high school. It's my last year." He tried to save himself. I thought, for a moment, I committed a crime. He was younger than he said he was. I hadn't been wrong to think he was too young to work at a bar.

"You lied. You said you were old enough to work at the bar. You can't be serving drinks." My voice was accusing but I shouldn't be scolding him. "Eat what you can and I'll take you." I stepped out and finished fixing whatever I could to make myself look presentable. I was angry at myself.

I should've asked to see his identification or something of the sort. The worst thing I could've done was sleep with a minor. If he was in his last year of high school, then I had no worries but he lied to me. Then again he did out of survival. He needed no one to question him about those things.

We stepped out as he ate a toast and had a bagel in his other hand. It was cute but embarrassing, at the same time. We were in a five star hotel which I acquainted when I wouldn't return home. I checked out while he waited in my car.

The drive was quiet. I wasn't sure if I could talk to him without scolding him. I wasn't his father but was probably old enough to be. There was so many questions pouring in my head.

"I'm sorry," he said. We were nearing his apartments. "I didn't mean to lie. You were so nice and handsome. Don't tell anyone, please? I need this job. It's the only place they didn't look into my information."

"That place isn't somewhere you should be at your age. Where are your parents? Family?" There was no need for him to work. I wanted to see his face but I couldn't. I concentrated on driving.

"They don't live here. I was sent here on my own. We come from a small town and I was lucky enough to get a scholarship to one of the best schools in the country. I'm alone." He whispered the last part.

His story was getting worse. It wasn't because I believed he concocted such a story. I knew he wasn't lying to me but he was in a vulnerable position. It made it more tempting for me. I shouldn't be taking any advantages here but it was easy to do it. Maybe I should make him a proposition.

The proposition would be vague. I wasn't sure of what the agreement would consist of in terms...this would be a point of negotiation. I really needed to think about this. First, I needed to make sure I still had a job. Then I'd be able to talk about it.

An agreement between us both, that sounded more rational. I could be honest about being married and I could provide his necessities. If he accepted, then it was a win-win situation. I'll talk to him later.

June 9, 2018