His silence was louder than words. I was bursting out in tears. I was trying to hold back the sobs that were forming. There it was stuck in my throat without a way out. I was going to choke in my tears. I didn't want to be seen like this. This was a...
The night had fallen quickly. The humidity was high, my body was sweating slightly. It wasn't a bother, when I could see the sky clearly. It was black-purple hue with the stars shining brightly and the moon at its splendor. It looked so beautiful. I took out the camera from the backpack and took a few. The beauty was captured but not fully. The picture still lacked the heart of it all. The sounds of the backdrop music playing, the laughter of children with their parents, the crickets, the dog which was probably a few blocks away. It all couldn't be captured in a photo.
I set the camera back carefully and made my way inside with my luggage to the small building. I bought a cold water before going back outside. The bottle was already showing condensation within seconds. It was really hot outside but bearable. I sat on top of my luggage bag with care. I waited for the bus to arrive. It was ten minutes late already. The attendant said it would only be five minutes late. I needed to leave before Jungkook decided to look for me. He has already filled my cell phone with messages and voicemails. I had turned off my phone long ago.
I was tempted to turn it on to view the messages or hear his voice but I shouldn't. I had to be stronger than this. There was no turning back. He had made his decision and no matter if he offered to pay for our daily living, pay to have a separate family—it wouldn't do. My baby deserved better. We deserved to live a life full of love and not having someone come in and out of our lives. The pain wasn't worth it. Maybe it's more for me than for the baby but I'm doing right. I believe I am.
Jungkook wouldn't leave his family for us, nor would we be a priority to him. He said it, himself. I couldn't live my life in hiding. No matter how much I loved the man; I, simply, couldn't.
"Summer break?" A stranger asks me. I see his feet next to me. I nod, not wanting to go into details. Nor am I in the mood to make small talk. I've got too much going on in my head to carry on with a decent conversation.
"It's going to be a long bus ride home. We might as well get to know each other. I know I'll be seated there for over five hours. How about you?"
"I've had an awful day. Can you find someone else?" I ask. My day has been the worst one so far. Things are not looking up for me.
I turn to see the stranger that interrupted my peace and quiet. His voice sounded like an adult but he couldn't be any older than a highschool student or college student. He had to be around my age. His face much more youthful than my own. He was a handsome man but I could tell he came from money. The way he dressed, and carried himself said it all.
Why was this rich kid taking a bus?
"Sorry, didn't mean to bother you. If you want to talk about it, I'm here. My name's Kim TaeHyung. You can call me Tae." He said before walking away. I heard the building door chime, I assume he went back in. I threw away my empty water bottle. I checked my bag to see I carried another one and some snacks for the long trip. I was set for the journey.
The bus finally arrived. I waited for everyone to step out of the bus before showing my ticket and entering. I wasn't planning on getting caught. I had to get some distance between Jungkook and I. That's the only way I would be safe from my thoughts. Regardless of what happened between us, I had hoped that this baby would know him. I set my backpack beside me. I didn't want a stranger next to me for the next few hours. I wanted to look out the window comfortably and possibly sleep most of the way there. The great thing was there was air conditioning in the bus. I took out a small blanket and set it on my lap. I was so tired from today's events.
All I want is a smooth and timely arrival home. Also, I prayed Mister Kim wouldn't bother me again. I didn't need another rich person in my life. I didn't need another heartbreak. Richer men are all the same. No man will be like my father. He's the only good man in this world. From now on it'll be just my baby and I. No one will matter more than this little baby growing within me.
Daddy loves you.
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I was fucking done with work. I tried to untie this fucking tie which was suffocating me. After being held up various times by my father-in-law, I was able to seek Jin. I was going to come earlier but Mister Choi insisted I stay to finish my work and review it. He not only stopped me once but thrice. I could've punched his face in anger. This wasn't about me anymore. I had to talk to Jin tell him I'm sorry and that I would try to be better. I could work everything out.
I stepped into the apartment after what seemed like years. I had come to see him but it was eerily quiet. I had to tell him he was being irracional. I had been irracional too. He had taken me by surprise. I would figure it out. I can figure it all out but he had to give me the benefit of the doubt. I was going to try and be a parent to our child too. I'd try to be a loving, caring lover. I couldn't promise him a future together now but maybe down the line.
I looked in the bedroom because that was the most obvious place to start. He wasn't there. I looked around the apartment not finding him anywhere. My heart started to pound harder. I ran up the steps to check the room. Hurriedly I opened the drawers, the closet, and the bathroom. I looked for his belongings or anything to let me know he would be back. What I found was nothing. I wasn't sure if he left for good or for the night.
As calm as I could, I searched again. I checked every crook and cranny for his belongings. I found my things and some of his things. There wasn't much missing from there. He would be back. Yeah, he'd be back. He only took a few things. He just didn't want to talk to me right now. He'll be back. Right?
He wouldn't leave me when he needs me the most. He's carrying our child, he wouldn't do this. He needs me! Jin doesn't have a place to stay or someone to go to. Where is he? Maybe he stayed at a hotel. I take my phone out to see if he's made any transactions. There's none. The last one he made was to take out money. I start to look through the statements and he's been taking money out this whole time we've been apart. He knew what he was doing. He knew he'd leave. He had known it all along. Was it my fault? It was me. I hadn't been supportive and I hadn't loved him the way he deserved.
I threw my phone in anger. I heard it crash into something. I looked at my blurry hands. I had caused the best thing to ever happen to me to leave me. I had done it all wrong. Far too concerned in things like work and a perfect life to even look at what I could've had. What could've made me happy. I'm sorry Jin. I'm really sorry. I've done you wrong. I want to apologize and do things right. Please? It's all I'm asking for.
My chest is burning—is it heartbreak? I'm trembling with regret. I need to find you. I stand up and wipe my eyes. I needed to speak to Yoongi. He could look for him. Maybe he knew where to start. I'll find you, Jin. I'll take care of you and our child. We'll be fine. We have to be for our baby. You'll see that I can be a great father for our child too. It's only a matter of time.
Jin wherever you are, I need you.
January 4, 2019 This is not the end of the story. I mean, I could've left it here but I promised more. So, I decided that the third part will be both of their views on this separation. Capital letters mean it's Jin point of view. This chapter happened because I feel like the second part needed closure to really begin with the "new beginnings", "rise from the ashes" period. You probably don't care to read my explanation for it. But, yeah, next chapter will be the commence of the third part 🥰
I can't thank you enough for last chapters votes, comments, and love I received on this so far. Honestly, made me cry that I could make you feel something even if it's just empathy, anger, or anything really. I wish I could list every single one of my supportive, always voting readers because it's because of you I do this.
