What Was Ours

4D. Begin Again

Jisoo was running home, she was excited to tell everyone the good news. We had a hard time calming her down because we'd have to constantly remind her to slow down. She would stay still for a short period of time before she would get worked up again. We had spent most of the day out; mostly because of the incident with Mister Jeon earlier. I didn't let that ruin my day. I had a daughter who was ecstatic due to our revelation, her excitement rubbed off on everyone. The tension from earlier was gone. She was spreading her happiness by letting everyone around her know why she was smiling brightly.

Upon her insistence we called papa Jiminie to tell him the good news. Of course, he was given a heads up because we needed support if things went sour. I had known that she would love the news of becoming a big sister. She had been waiting for this moment for a long time. Jisoo wanted to have siblings to share with. There were a few questions that followed after her scream of excitement. She wanted to know if it was a boy or a girl, would she be able to take care of him or her, could she play with the baby, and many more things that overwhelmed Hyungie and I. We didn't have all the answers but we tried to explain what we knew or assumed as best we could.

"Jisoo!" I had to run up next to her and hold her hand before she entered the dining room. Thankfully, I caught her in time. We would be in trouble if she went in there.

"Let's wait until they come out of the dining room. We can come up with some ideas to tell them the news in a special way. Meanwhile, let's change our clothes so we're comfortable and can think properly. It's a big step. You're going to be a big sister." Hyungie had a way to convince her by thinking of creative ways to make her wait or do something she doesn't enjoy in particular. He makes things fun for her, for us. His words convinced Jisoo to wait before she attempts to enter again. She would've interrupted an official business dinner, had Hyungie not convinced her otherwise.

We thought that by now they would've left but the cars in the driveway said otherwise. There was no turning back and there was little to do at this hour besides go out to eat; which was unnecessary because we were all full. I was too exhausted to even try to do more. It has been too much excitement for one day. Also, my pregnancy wasn't helping at all.

"Papa?! Papa Hyungie showed me lots of things! We can do this one!" She played the video of a gender reveal with balloons. Jisoo looked so happy that her eyes crinkled and her nose scrunched up.

"There were other ones. Why this one?" Hyungie whined. It was endearing how he could be a child at times. He had this light and playful side to him that hardly came out but it was a reminder of who he was when we met.

He looks at me: I blush. He's caught me staring. I can't help that there's moments where I turn to look at him and feel like my life is happier with him in it. He mouths an almost ritual "I love you," to me that sends me to the moon. He kisses me and it feels like I'm invincible. In all these years, I still feel good every time he kisses me and reminds me he loves me. This love isn't going anywhere. It still feels like our first dates when I realized I was in love with him. Perhaps, I love him more than ever. Our children were proof of that.

I can hear Jisoo calling me to see another video. She pouts knowing that she didn't have my full attention. I apologize before concentrating on the videos she's showing me. His hand entertained with mine and it's all I need for now. It's a gentle touch but a strong reminder that he's there every step of the way. We're a family.

"Grandpa!" Jisoo screams to get his attention. She blushes and hides behind me. She may be excited to tell him but she's still not used to having him as a grandfather. She's used to my own father who always makes sure to go out of his way to make her feel loved and cared for.

I turn to look at her and coax her to continue. Hyugie also gives her an encouraging look. Jisoo steps out and walks over to him and hands him a wrapped gift box with a balloon tied to it. She comes back next to us, and holds our hands.

The ill man looks at us curiously but thanks my daughter for the gift regardless of his confusion. We caught him in time for his afternoon outing in the back patio. The fresh air seems to be doing wonders for his health. It seems like the man is doing fairly well these days. I hoped this wouldn't bring a big emotion to make him fall ill. He carefully opened the present which contained babies shoes, a doctor's note confirming the pregnancy and a drawing that Jisoo drew of our new family. The balloon was just something that Jisoo had insisted upon but she understood we wouldn't pop it like in the videos.

The timing seems off because I see everyone make their way out to the patio. The children are laughing and running in the grass. I can hear father chuckle before he congratulates us in our blessing. He gets closer to Jisoo and tells her to be a good noona. It seems like he's convinced it'll be a boy and Jisoo agrees with him. She explains that there can't be two princesses. Jisoo wants to be our only princess.

"What's going on?" JiHyun asks as soon as they reach us. I don't know how to respond when she and Mister Jeon look like those rich couples that try to convey perfection.

"Taehyung is finally giving me a grandson. He's already given me a cute granddaughter but now he's adding to the family. An heir." The last word is said with joy, and pride. It's almost as if he was gloating about it.

"We're not sure if it's a boy. It's too early to tell but you'll be one of the first to know, father." Hyungie corrects his father.

"I'm sure it's a boy. Jin, here, is a healthy young man and you come from a good family." It's as if that itself determined the gender of our child.

"All I can hope for is a healthy baby," I say.

"You're right." Hyungie agrees and kisses my temple.

"Congratulations," JiHyun tells us. It's then that I gather the courage to look at them again. Mister Jeon looks surprised but he manages to mutter some congratulatory words.

I should thank them but the words seem empty, hollow, and fake but I had no wish to be a hypocrite. I looked at my daughter who went to play with her "cousins". I look at their son, JinRyung, who is only months older than my daughter. I wonder if Mister Jeon chose that name because of me. Had I left any evidence of the names I had liked for my children? Or perhaps it's some coincidence. There's still hesitance about this child.

"We're excited to share this news with all of you." Hyungie is looking specifically at Mister Jeon. It's like he's trying to get a reaction out of him.

"I think I'll go fix some things while Jisoo is entertained." I need to get out of here. Hyungie is making things more awkward for me. I feel like I'm about to get caught with every challenging look he gives Mister Jeon. Hyungie hates him.

I'm trying to live peacefully, until we move out. I excuse myself before walking back to my room. I can feel his gaze on me. He's going to want to talk and I must be ready for it this time. I won't be weak to his charms anymore. I know the type of man he is and I can't trust him with my person or Jisoo's.

Does life always have to take you back to the point you tried so hard to run away from? Is there more I need to face? I hope I can push through like I did before. I need to be strong again. I survived the worst already, then I can survive this inevitable event. I can and I will.

June 17, 2019
After a life time I post a new chapter. This is one I struggle the most writing because it deals with more emotions and life's hardships. I appreciate that you all love it but I'll post when I feel like I've got a decent chapter for you all. Thank you for those who continue to be understanding and loving 🥰