Alternate Timeline- Bardock's Earthly Adventures

Chapter 9: The First Night

The crew of comrades had been traveling nearly all day. It was getting dark. Bulmo had said as much, as she pulled over in open field. Bardock landed next to her, annoyed he hadn't gotten to fight anything. Bulma reached into her capsule case and threw one into the field. If Bardock had anything in his mouth, he'd of spit it out when a large house appeared. His shock was nothing compared to his son's, however.
"You really aren't a witch or anything right?" He asked Bulma, power pole at the ready.
"Do you wanna sleep outside?" She asked, tired of her young companion.
Goku entered the capsule home and yelled,
"Wa-wah! It's afternoon in here!" Bardock looked at his son in amazement.
"Have you never seen lights before?" He asked, and grunted when Goku shook his head no. Bulma walked him trough and explained the tv to him before smelling the air and gagging. She looked and Goku and said,
"Hey, you smell a little, you know? We'll have to stick you in the tub before dinner." Both Goku and Bardock looked at her oddly.
"What's a tub?" They asked in unison. Bulma nearly fell over she was so disgusted. Maybe she could understand the boy not knowing, he looked young enough. But even the grown Bardock?!
"Hey Bardock, why don't you bathe yourself?" She asked.
"Because where I come from that isn't a thing." Bardock grunted before looking quizzically at the large white... thing that was wet.
"Where you come from? Pray tell, where could that be?" Bulma asked as she bathed Goku, since Bardock clearly didn't know how to.
"...Planet Vegeta." Was all Bardock said before he got another vision.

This time, he saw a namekian, but much older than the one he had seen before. He was standing next to a fat black man(not racist). The two of them were talking quietly.
"He shouldn't be here. How did this happen?" The namek asked.
"Please, Kami, calm down. Fate's hand often does seem strange." The tubby one answered.
"But to think... out of every planet in the universe, that man lands here. The same place..."

Bardock's vision was cut short by Bulma's screaming. But even as he rushed to the white room to see what happened, he heard the last sentence in his head.
"as his son, Mr.Popo." Bardock ignored it for now, as presently his son was....naked? He looked around and didn't understand why she screamed.
"Hey Bulmoor, what's the problem?" He asked, glaring at her.
"H...h...he...has...a...a...real tail!" She managed to choke out, sitting on the bed. Goku looked at his father and explained.
"Dad, girls here don't have tails." Bardock unfurled his own tail, getting another shriek from Bulma. Bardock looked his son in the eyes before saying,
"I don't think that's right, Kakarrot. Your Gotham didn't have any tail. I think just earthlings don't have tails." Bulma watched with astonishment.
"Wait, you were for real? When you said you came from another planet?!" Bulma was in disbelief. She knew she'd meet people on her journey, but she didn't think the first two people she found would be aliens! Bardock merely grunted before walking into the white room, trying to figure out what he was supposed to do.
"Do you need assistance?" Bulma asked as she entered.
"Course not, I just need to figure out what a tum is." Bardock answered without looking, focusing completely on the bizarre white dish in front of him with grey things.
"That's a sink. This is the tub." Bulma offered, pointing to the larger empty white thing.
"Ch! I knew that I was just planning on....sinking first." Bardock said straight faced, unsure of what that meant.
"Now get out of here, I'm sure I can figure out how one hums." Bardock began to strip down, out of his dōgi. He sat in the water, wondering what else one does in the tuk.
"Now put soap in your hair." Bulma told him, startling Bardock since he didn't see her.
"Hey! How'd you sneak in here!?" He asked, hiding the worst of his scars underwater.
"I never left. You just entered the tub and forgot I was here." Bulma responded while holding back giggles. She couldn't believe she had found a man as strong and as dumb as Bardock. An alien, nonetheless! Bardock picked up the bar of soap, sniffed it and, with a shrug...bit it.
"GAK!!!" He yelled as he spit it out, and nearly knocked Bulma over as he ran outside, trying to find something to get the taste out. Bulma ran outside with bread and coffee.
"Here, try these!" She called to her psycho compatriot. Bardock came back and ate the entire bread in one bite, before downing the whole coffee in one gulp.
"Not the worst I've had. But not enough." Bardock commented as he got dressed.
"Hey Kakarrot, wanna go hunting?" Bardock yelled, excited to find stuff that fought back. Bulma was looking forward to some peace and quiet, but the two were back almost immediately! They carried between them four wolves and six centipedes! They roasted them, ate them all, and came back.
"Sorry Bardock, but the bed's only got enough room for me. Where do... you... never mind." She gave up as she saw Bardock fall asleep on the floor.
As she lay in bed, she saw Goku cuddling with his father on the floor. She had completely forgotten to ask his age. "One more thing for tomorrow" she grunted, right before she went to sleep.

Power levels:
Bardock: 12,221
Goku: 16
Bulma: 2