Bardock had never seen anyone with facial hair as glorious as this turtle man. So by that logic, he had to be really important. Goku didn't seem fazed by this turtle rider in the slightest. Then again, Bardock had yet to find much that did faze him.
"Heh! Turtle here tells me you three are responsible for his rescue!" He wore sunglasses, khaki shorts, and a turtle shell. Bardock wasn't quite sure he was an earthling.
"Heh! How about as thanks, I'll give you my old, FLYING NIMBUS!!!" He yelled, and moments later, a weird yellow cloud flew next to them.
"Heh! Only the pure of heart can ride this bad boy." He chuckled, attempting to hit it, but his hand passed through it. Goku jumped on it, perfectly fine. Bulma passed through, and Bardock didn't care enough to try. Goku immediately took flight, laughing and enjoying himself. Bardock watched on, resolved to teach his son how to fly without a cloud.
"Hey, why can't I ride it? I'm pure as can be, I'm just a 16 year old girl!" Bulma whined, watching her young friend fly around. Bardock glanced at her, shocked. This girl was only four years older than Kakarrot?!
"Hey old man, can I have something?" Bulma asked, nearly begging.
"Heh! Not quite sure what you could want but..." the man looked around, but as he turned his head, Bulma saw his necklace.
"Could I have your necklace? Pretty please?" Bulma asked, actually begging now. The man looked at her.
"Heh! I'll give it to ya, but on one condition: show me your panties!" He yelled, excited. Bulma looked disgusted, but she really wanted that necklace. Before she did anything though, Bardock slipped into yet another premonition.
"Hmmmmm. My name is Tao Pai Pai. I'm here to kill you." The weird man with small facial hair said. He wore pink, and had a ponytail. 'Is that really a dude?' Bardock wondered, but then the vision shifted. He now saw his son, wearing an orange dōgi, get shot in the heart!
As the vision ended, Bardock was in a cold sweat. 'I can't let him die here. He's got to be stronger. He's got to avenge his race.' He thought, watching his son fly around. He looked back at Bulma to see holding... another dragonball?! No wonder she wanted the necklace! He looked at the old man, who sported a bloody nose, and for a fraction of a second he felt something. This old fool let himself slip. His ki was enormous. Bardock could sense it.
"Hey Kakarot, why don't you two head back to camp? I'll catch up!" He yelled, hoping to distract the two of them.
"Ok dad! Come on, I'll race you!" Goku laughed as he, on his new cloud and Bulma, on her motacyle disappeared over the hill.
"Heh! Ask away. I've got plenty o' questions of my own, alien." The old man said, standing up straight.
"That makes this easier. You trained Goham didn't you?" Bardock asked, almost certain.
"Heh! Hit the head on the nail! I taught him nearly everything he knew. Including the power suppression technique we're both using right now." The old man said, wondering how much this alien knew.
"Alright listen, I'll be blunt turtle man. Train my son." Bardock said, struggling to swallow his pride.
"Heh! An interesting idea. Tell ya what alien. Send him back my way after you three finish up your lil' quest. I'll train him. He'll be light years ahead of any of his pappy's dreams." The man snickered, hoping he wasn't bluffing.
"Sound good to me. What do I call you? And how old are you if your beard is so magnificent?" Bardock asked, wondering if any saiyan could grow a beard that fabulous.
"Heh! You can call me Roshi! The turtle hermit! And I'm approaching 350 years old now." Roshi said, relieved that the other guy took the initiative.
"Well you and I got one thing in common then Rosho. My name is Bardock, and I'm....like...50? Give or take a year or two. I stopped counting a long time ago." Bardock said, wondering how old he actually was.
"Heh! So our common thing is looking amazing for our ages, right?" Roshi asked, not actually caring what the answer was.
"Guess so. Well, thanks Rosha, guess I'll be seeing you." Bardock responded, flying away. He didn't hear Roshi speak after that.
"What! He can fly!? No fair! Why can't I fly!? Stupid plot." He complained, watching his new ally disappear. Bardock got back to camp just in time to hear shouts and gunshots. He kicked open the door and saw his son attempting to get the marks the bullets left off his skin. He glared at Bulma.
"Hell was that for?!" He shouted.
"Little brat took my panties!" She shouted, angrier than him. Bardock just stared at her, unsure of what that meant.
"My underwear!" She shouted, attempting to clarify so at least someone would support her. Bardock still had no clue what that meant.
"Bad.... Kakarot?" He asked, unsure of if his son did anything bad.
"Hmmm. Boys." Bulma groaned as she got on her motorcycle, preparing for the long trip ahead. Goku prepared to fly away on his nimbus, which was significantly faster than her bike. Bardock didn't care. He planned to sprint the whole distance. Good training. And with that, the three headed west, off to find the fifth ball.
Power levels:
Bardock: 12,433
Goku(post shootout): 17
Bulma(angry): 3
Master Roshi(Heh!): 180
YOU ARE READING
Alternate Timeline- Bardock's Earthly Adventures
AdventureWhat if instead of fighting Frieza until the end, Bardock had one last vision that convinced him to follow his younger son to Earth? Would he kill all life as we know it? Would he assist in pivotal plot points? Would he care? All these and more are...
