Fall Into Places (Into Trilogy #1)

Kabanata 25

Pinalis ko ang mga luhang pumatak sa mga mata ko bago binuksa ang gate ng bahay ni Ianthe. I don't want her seeing me like this, looking like a stupid bitch.

"O, maaga pa ha. Kamusta ang date niyo—" napatigil naman siya sa pagsasalita ng tiningnan niya ako sa mukha.

Her hands are wet so I assumed that she just finished washing the dishes.

"Don't say anything." I warned her.

Her mouth parted while her eyes widened with shock. Naiilang na ako sa mga tingin niya sa'kin kaya umiwas ako dito at tinalikuran siya.

"Did he made you cry?"

I stopped walking with her sudden question.

"Nothing happened—"

"Don't lie, Moira. Face me. Bakit ka niya pinaiyak."

I can't help but sigh. Umiiral nanaman ang pag-aalala niya.

"Can we not talk about this please?" I said when I faced her.

Nakahalukipkip lang siya at nakatingin sa'kin ng seryoso. "No."

Umirap na lang ako. I don't want to fight with her right now so hahayaan ko muna siya.

"Okay then, I'll tell you what happened to that stupid dinner date. Prepare some ice cream first." Pag-uutos ko sa kanya na parang ako ang may-ari ng bahay na 'to.

Tumango naman siya at mabilis na nagtungo sa kusina. Nanghihina naman akong pumunta sa kwartong ibinigay sa'kin ni Ianthe at nag bihis doon ng mas komportableng damit. I looked at my dress pitifully. Sayang, sinuot pa kita sa akala kong especial na lalaki na para sa'kin. I'm always wrong.

Bumaba na ako pagkatapos kong mag-ayos. Ianthe was putting ice cream in my glass while the game console was on. Alam ko na ang gusto niyang mangyari.

"C'mon, sit right here." Turo niya sa katabing espasyo niya.

Umupo naman ako doon at kinuha na ang baso kong may ice cream at kumain na roon.

Ilang minuto pa ang lumipas when the silence filled us. Wala ni isang nagsasalita sa'min. Ninanamnam namin ang kinakain naming ice cream. Were both taking our time.

"Madali lang ba talaga akong iwanan?" I suddenly blurted out.

Tumigil naman siya sa pagkain sa nakikita ko sa peripheral vision ko at tumingin sa gawi ko.

"Of course hindi, Moira."

I laughed with less humor. "Hindi pero nagawa mo rin naman akong iwan. You all did. Maybe, I'm not really worth it sa lahat ng ito."

"Moira, stop, you are wort—"

"You know," I sighed. "I used to trust everyone around me. But in time I slowly distance myself to others because they're slowly breaking me. I thought that everyone liked me. That they fell into their places. Pero mali pala ako. They just want my trust so they can use it against me."

"I didn't used you, Moira. You knew that."

Tiningnan ko siya ng malamig. "You didn't used me but you never chose me. What's the use of this friendship. It's nothing but words."

I saw hurt in her eyes. She's really an open book. She shouldn't show her emotions that quick to others. It'll be her vulnerability and her enemies will be using it against her.

"Moira..."

Umiwas ako ng tingin at yumuko. I don't want to show her the coldness in my eyes. My warm heart slowly froze. Covered with the coldness that I want others to feel. Nobody deserved my friendship. Not even him.

"I trusted God. I always prayed to him. I loved him with all of my heart. Pero bakit nangyayari lahat ng 'to ngayon sa'kin?" Ang mga luhang gustong bumuhos ay hindi lumabas. I feel nothing right now.

"Maybe, there's really no God at all. Just a mere fantasies of the old people who thought that their success came from him. Success came from us. And no one should take credit of that. Only ourselves." I said selfishly.

"Moira! Don't say that. God is real! You should never hate him, siya ang nagbigay ng buhay sa'yo. Lahat ng problema mo ngayon ay mga pagsubok lang. Don't let your emotions take over you..."

"If he is real then why did he gave me this kind of life?!" I looked at her coldly. "Did I deserved all of this?! I have no family! The people that I thought would never abandon me are slowly disappearing. The love that I thought would save me only worsen the broken pieces in my heart. Nobody deserved me. Not even that God!"

Tumayo na ako at iniwan siya doong tulala dahil sa mga sinabi ko. Wala na akong pakealam kahit sobra na ang mga sinabi ko. I know I'm right and no one should contradict me. No one owns me. No one knows me well. No one will ever deserve me.

They might call me selfish pero wala na akong paki roon. They could eat their opinions for all I care. Walang kahit na sino ang pwede lumaban sa'kin. No one will ever get close to me. Wala ng kahit sino ang makakasakit sa puso ko. From now on, I'm putting my own walls and barriers. I'll make everything okay in my life. I'll fix everything alone until every pieces falls into their places.

STONE MIKAELSON