Fall Into Places (Into Trilogy #1)

Kabanata 8

"Goodnight, Moira." Ani Clyde.

Tumango lang ako dito at tipid na ngumiti. "Thank you for taking me home, Clyde. I really appreciate it."

Napakamot lang ito sa kaniyang batok. "It's really nothing. I just can't let you go home alone.

I chuckled. What a gentleman. He's really too opposite with...

I shooked my head nang sumagi nanaman siya sa isipan ko. Fuck.

"Are you okay, Moira?"

"Of course! Why wouldn't I be?"

Tiningnan niya lang ako. It seems like he's reading me like a book.

Tumikhim ako at iniwas ang tingin sakaniya. "I think, I'll go inside now Clyde. Thank you ulit sa paghatid." Ani ko.

"You're always welcome, Moiranelle."

We said our last farewell before I went inside.

Tahimik lang ang loob ng bahay ng pumasok ako. Napangiti ako ng mapakla. Hindi na ako nasanay. Mom's probably asleep by now. Maaga pa 'yong natutulog eh.

I sighed then comb my hair. Just like last year, they don't remember this day. My heart ached as of thinking that even me, myself, can't consider that this day is special for me. I was always right, mabuti na kang at nagsabi na ako kay mama na huwag na siyang maghanda pa.

I went to my room without looking at my sorroundings. Ganito talaga ako, hindi ko na napapansin o pinapansin ang paligid ko kapag nagmamadali.

When I reached my bed, kaagad ako roong humiga at ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko. Minutes later, darkness convey me.

I was woken by a knock on my door. Pupungas-pungas akong bumangon at tiningan ang sarili ko. I'm still wearing the same dress thay I was wearing earlier. Hindi ko pala namalayang nakatulog na ako.

Mas lumakas pa lalo ang katok sa pintuan ko kaya tumayo na ako at tinungo iyon.

"Sandali!" Sigaw ko sa kumakatok.

Binuksan ko na ang pintuan. Nabigla naman ako sa bumungad sa'kin na ikinagalit ko.

They were all greeting me pero hindi ko iyon pinansin. I was freaking angry with mom and my friends dahil dito. I fucking told mama that I don't want to fucking celebrate this shit pero bakit ganito?!

"Happy Birthday, Moira!" They shouted unison.

Inilibot ko ang malamig kong mata sa kanila. Naroon sila Ianthe, Aira, George, Chrisline and even Clyde. Mom was there too.

"What the hell is this, ma?!"

Kaagad namang nawala ang mga ngiti sa kanilang mga mukha ng makita ang reaksyon ko. I was so mad because I was already giving up for my own birthday. I was already starting to forget this special day of mine. They're my family and friends pero ngayon lang sila nag effort. I always want to make them have their birthdays to be special. I'm not asking for a return, okay? Pero ang sakit lang talaga na kahit greetings nga lang nakakalimutan pa nila.

"Moira..." Aira's voice trailed off.

Hindi ko namalayang tumulo na pala ang luha ko. Kaagad ko naman itong pinahid at mapaklang tumawa sa kanilang harapan.

"I don't want any of these shits okay? And please, pwede ba? Sana hindi na kayo maghanda pa sa isang normal na araw lang. Wala namang importante ngayong araw tapos gumastos pa kayo." Turo ko sa mga balloons and cake na hawak hawak nila.

Damn it! Noon nga hindi nila pinapansin ang araw na to pero ngayon na ayaw na ayaw ko nang maalala kung anong mayroon sa araw na to, doon pa nila naisipan na maghanda na wala naman ng silbi para sa'kin.

"Moira! How dare you?! Hinanda namin to para sayo!" Galit na sigaw ni Ianthe sa'kin.

Hinawakan na siya ni Aira sa braso niya. Tumawa pa ulit ako ng mapakla dahil sa mga  katagang binitawan niya. Really, Ianthe?

"Wala naman akong sinabing maghanda kayo para  sa normal na araw na to diba?" Hindi ko alam pero ramdam kong unti-unti ng lumalabas ang mga litid ko sa'king leeg dahil sa pagpipigil ng galit

"And you, Aira," turo ko sakaniya. "Is this the reason kung bakit ka nawala kanina ha?"

"Moira, calm yourself. Ginawa lang naman namin itong lahat para makabawi naman kami sayo dahil palaging ikaw na lang ang naghahanda kapag kaarawan namin pero pag sayo na wala kaming naiibibigay-"

I laughed sarcasticly. "That'a the whole point, George! It's effing too late for that. Now that I'm treating this day normal," I can't continue what I wanted to say because I really don't want to burst right infront of them.

"Please, just please! Don't ever do this kind of thing again. I don't want to burden all of you." I felt my heart ache. "I want all of you to treat this day as a n-normal day..." gumagaral na ang boses ko. "I don't want  all of you to remember that this is my birthday. Just treat this day like how you treat the other normal day because it is."

"Moiranelle! What are you saying?!" Mama shouted at me.

"Please ma..." pagmamakaawa ko.

Paramg naumid naman ang dila niya dahil sa pagmamakaawa ko. My mama's eyes was filled with pain and sadness as she looks at me. Tiningnan ko lang siya ng blanko. I don't ever want to see that expression to others because I despise that. Ayaw kong kaawaan nila ako dahil lang dito. I don't want it.

"I'm sorry pero kailangan kong magpahinga. Please, clean your mess." That was the last thing I've said before closing the door.

Napasandal nalang ako sa pintuan ko at padausdos na naupo habang sapo sapo ang mukha ko na puno na ng luha. Ang sakit pala kapag huli na nila makikita ang worth mo. Kahit birthday mo nakakalimutan na nila. For all those years, nasanay na akong palaging facebook na lang o mga iba kong kaibigan ang nagpapaalala sa kanila ng kaarawan ko. I was always consumed with pain but I always hide it to them. I always cover my real emotions with a mask. Ang sakit pala kapag ramdam mong punong puno ka na at parang sasabog ka na sa sakit.

Napahikbi na ako. Kahit mababaw lang ito para sa kanila, ang lalim na nito para sa'kin. It hurts so much that It breaks my heart.

Someone knocked on my door. Hindi ko ito pinansin pero ng marinig ko ang boses ni Aira na tumatawag sa'kin kaagad akong napatayo at binuksan iyon. Bago iyon ay inayos ko muna ang sarili ko.

"Aira,"

"What the hell was that, Moira." Mariing sabi niya.

I heaved a heavy sigh before plastering a big smile at her.

"Don't mind that, Aira. Please 'wag mo iyong banggitin." I chuckled.

She looked at me seriously with her chinky eyes.

"Please, Moira. Stop hiding your real emotions. Stop pretending."

Umiling ako sakaniya habang nanatili ang ngiti ko.

"I'm sorry, Aira. Can't do that." My heart ached again. "This is the only way for me to be... strong."

STONE MIKAELSON