I Don't Wanna Break

Beginning

"And all of the things that we once said,

They're not in my heart, they're in my head" ~ Christina Perri

___________________

My heart is pounding so hard I'm surprised it hasn't popped out of my chest yet. They're here. The figments of my past. My closest friends and my worst enemies. They're here.

Jesse is here with me at my place while we wait. Nat told me the all they flew down here was to meet him.

Everyone is staying at the motel a few blocks from here. They could walk if they wanted to. I look at the clock by the door and cringe when I see the time. Their plane landed at seven. It's 7:30 now. They'll be here in no time.

A strong, warm pair of arms slither around my waist. Jesse puts his chin on my shoulder and kisses my cheek. "Everything is going to be fine babe."

I nod my head even though I know it's a lie. I know that as soon as I lay eyes on them I will breakdown into tears. I know that they probably all hate me because I hid from them. I know things will never be the same.

What I don't know is, how I will react when I see him. I don't know how he will react. I don't know how I feel about him. I don't know how he feels about me. I don't know him. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know.

I turn around and face Jesse. "You know I love you, right?"

He sighs and smiles at me. "I know you love me. I also know you still love Niall."

I wrap my arms around him and put my forehead against his. "I-I don't know how I will react to seeing him again. I-if I---"

He shakes his head slowly. "You don't have to warn me. I understand. I don't care if you kiss him or tell him you love him a million times right there in front of me." He intertwines our hands and holds it up in front of face. My ring sparkles in the light. "This ring says more than any of that ever could."

I nod my head and kiss him slowly. His lips meld to mine and I find myself pulling him closer to me. Just when the kiss begins to get heated the doorbell rings.

We pull away quickly and look at the door. I give him a nervous glance and he just nods his head. I grab his hand and we walk to the door to answer it.

As soon as I open the door arms attach around my neck. "I missed you so much. I was going crazy with out you there." My mom whispers into my ear.

The tears have already formed in my eyes. "I missed you too mom." My voice cracks at the end. She pulls away and the next person jumps onto me.

"Mckenzie! I missed you so much." Louis clings to me with his legs around my waist and his arms around my neck.

"I missed you too Louis." I laugh through the tears still pouring down my face.

"Look what I brought you." He exclaims. He let's go of me hands me a brown paper bag an smiles widely.

I open up the bag and laugh when I see it's contents. "Oreos and Cookie Dough Ice Cream."

He nods his bead and hugs me again. I turn to Jesse and ask him to put the bag away. When I turn back around I'm met with three pissed off boys.

"Hi." Is all I say.

"You could've told us ya know." Zayn says. Harry isn't even looking at me and Liam is glaring at Jesse.

"You already know why I didn't tell you." I say looking at the ground.