I Don't Wanna Break

Damage

I decided to update since it's Niall's birthday! I cannot believe that he is 21!

It's amazing how far he's come. He said he wanted to sell out arenas and that is exactly what he's doing.

He's a symbol of what it means to follow your dreams and that's the reason why he is one of the biggest role models in my life.

I want to peruse my dreams and become the way he is. And if I do accomplish that, the first thing thing I will do is thank him for being such an amazing person.

So this chapter is in honor of him.

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Mac/Lana's POV

"No! We are not pulling the plug. She is going to wake up!" Jesse screams.

"Sir. I'm sorry but if she hasn't waken up by now she isn't gonna wake up at all." The doctor says calmly.

"No! I don't believe that."

"It has to be done." She sighs. "I'll give you ten minutes."

The door opens and I hear her leave. Jesse's footsteps sound near my bed and his warm hand slips into my cold one.

"Lana, I...." I can literally hear him crying.

I can visualize his face right now. Quivering lips. Red cheeks. Bloodshot eyes. Runny nose and tears.

"Jesse!" Niall's rings through the room.

My heart flutters at the sound of his voice. He's here. He came.

"Jesse. You can't let them do that. You can't let them kill her!"

"You don't I know that Niall!"

The room is silent. Dead silent. The sounds are coming from the monitors are the noise in the room.

"I know you're trying to help Niall but you're no good lying in a hospital bed." Jesse says.

A hospital bed! Why is he in the hospital?

I have to get up. I have to wake up.

I start by trying to move my fingers. picturing them curling into a fist or into Niall's hair.

I feel them twitch and that small victory is enough to push me to wake completely.

I try lifting them open but it feels more like I'm opening a concrete door. I scream at my body to wake up, to open my eyes.

I hear a flatline and then Jesse.

"Niall get back in the bed." He says.

"No. I'm gonna help wake her up. She's not gonna die."

I hear his bare feet pad across the room to me. His hand replaces Jesse's and his lips touch mine.

He only kissed me for a second but somehow I no longer felt like a dead weight. I felt like I was floating on the feeling of that brief kiss.

He squeezes my hand and to my surprise I squeeze back.

"Holy shit." Niall whispers.

His voice makes my body go warm and my eyes magically flutter open.

The first thing I see is a pair of blue eyes. The blue eyes I've longed to see. The blue eyes that saved me.

"Mckenzie." He breathes.

"Niall." My voice comes out hoarse and scratchy.

I sit up slowly and cringe when the world spins. "How long?"

He doesn't say anything and neither does Jesse. They just stare at me in amazement.

I take this time to check Niall's condition. The damage isn't that bad.

He has a bandage around his head and one across his arm.

"Niall what the hell happened to you?" I scream.

I get no response. Just stares.

"Guys. I'm awake. So can someone please answer my fucking questions?"

The room continues to stay silent. Niall looks me up and down and a solemn feature takes over his face. Jesse looks me right in the eye and I can see his jaw clenching an unclenching.

"Two months." Jesse says.

"I've been out for two months?"

He shakes his head and takes a seat at the foot of my bed.

"No." He sighs and then begins to laugh bitterly. "For two months. You never said a word to me."

"Jesse, listen I-"

"No! You listen!" he screams.

He stands up and Niall takes his place on the bed. He puts a hand on my thigh and rubs slowly.

"For two months," Jesse continues. "I watched die and deteriorate in front of me. I watched you try to kill yourself. I watched you scream his name while you slept. I watched it all."

"Jesse..."

He slams his fist into the wall and screams,"Let me finish!"

I shut my mouth an wait for his words to continue. My heart races because I'm scared of what will come out his mouth. I know it's nothing good. But of course it's not. I turn sweet gentle men into enraged monsters. This was bound to happen soon anyway.

"I was the only one there for you. Do you know what it feels like to watch the person you love slowly die and waste away because she can't let go of her demons? Niall's your demon. He's killing you. Inside and out but you can't see it. You're too fucking stupid and blinded by the twisted dreams in your head that you can't see the fucking truth!"

I watch the door and pray for the doctors to bust through there any minute.

"He's beat you. Nearly raped you. He ruined your career. All he's done is ruin your life." He runs a hand through his hair and kicks a chair over.

"Why can't you see that?"

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Ok so I know it's not Niall's birthday but I started writing this chapter on his birthday so...just pretend, okay?

COMMENT & VOTE!!

please:)