I Don't Wanna Break

Bloodstream

Niall's POV

I watch as they strap her down to the bed for the third time that day. Her back arched as she screams my name. Her face contorted in pain.

"Niall!" she screams before they push the needle into her vein.

She continues to struggle against the restraints until the medicine begins to kick in. Soon she stops moving and just stares at me.

"Niall.". She whimpers. "Why are they doing this to me?"

I stand beside her and run my fingers through her hair. "They just want to keep you safe."

"I can't feel anything." She says sadly.

I cupped her face with my hand. "It's just the medicine."

She shakes her head and repeats herself. "I can't feel anything."

A lump in my throat forms when I realize what she's saying. She's saying she can't feel anything. Nothing. Sure she can feel it when I touch her but she can't feel her emotions. She thinks she's gone numb. Mentally.

After the blow-up with Jesse she went crazy. Literally.

She sat there saying nothing for what felt like hours and then she exploded.

She began throwing things and screaming. She pushed Jesse into the door and he now has a cut on the back of his head.

The scariest part was when she came after me with a knife. She picked it up from her dinner plate and came charging after me.

She threw me down to the ground and sat on me. She grabbed my arm and brought the knife up to it. She then slowly slid the blade across it leaving a thin line of blood.

The words that left her mouth hurt me. They hurt more than that cut did.

"How does it feel Niall? I felt this everyday after everything you've done to me. The feeling of the cool metal cutting through my skin was my source of happiness after you took the life away from me."

She cut me three more time before the doctors came and restrained her to the bed.

The next morning she seemed fine.

When I came back she threw her arms around me. She kissed nearly every inch of my face and told me she was so glad I was here. An hour later, she started screaming again.

She kept screaming,"Monster! Monster! Get away!" Like some toddler afraid of the dark.

They restrained her again but let her go for lunch. But she wasn't free for very long. About thirty minutes later she went to screaming again.

Again she was freed after she ate. Only to be tied up again now.

She stares at me now with adoration in her eyes. Not the terror I saw just a moment ago.

"Mr. Horan." I look up to see a nurse stand at the door. "Visiting hours are over."

I nod slightly and look back down at Mckenzie. I lean over and press my lips lightly to her forehead. "I'll see you tomorrow." I walk to the door with tears already burning my eyes.

"I love you, Niall." She states.

I stop in my tracks and feel my heart hit the ground.

"Yeah. I love you too."

I walk out the door and head to her doctors office.

When I get there he's scanning over what looks like her paperwork.

"Doctor Jeffries." I say.

He turns his head toward me sharply. "Can I help you?"

"Mckenzie. Um, can she go home tomorrow?"

" Yes. Of course."

"What?" I say stunned.

"It's obvious that she's like this because of you and to be honest I don't think she'll get better until you fix things with her. So yes you may take her home tomorrow. Hell, you can take her home right now if you want. "

"Yes sir. Right now would be fine."

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A week later

We lay in bed together with our eyes locked on to each other's.

She's having one of her good days today.

She hasn't been screaming at me as much. She's just silent. And in a way I think that scares me more than the screaming.

I feel her tense up all of the sudden and I wrap my arms around her.

"Stay with me Mac. Don't go to that dark place, stay with me."

She squeezes her eyes shut and balls her fist. Her body begins to shake as she fights off the demons within her.

I haven't figured out what triggers it to come out. One minute she's silent the next she's wailing with agony. She has been able to over come it completely but she still tries.

"Niall." she whimpers through clenched teeth. "I don't want to do this anymore."

She begins to cry. "Make it stop. Make it stop."

"How? How do I make it stop?" I ask her feverishly.

"Love me." she whispers.

I screw my face up in confusion. "I do love you."

She shakes her head. "No."

Her trembling hands take mine and put them on her bum.

"Love me." She repeats.

I stare at her wide eyed. "Mac, are you saying that you want me to have sex with you?"

She nods. "Make it go away."

So I did.

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Sorry if the chapter sucks but I'll make up for it next one.

So Niall and Mac finally did the dirty. Ooooo

Sorry I didn't go into detail....parts like that make me uncomfortable.

I'm only human is at 3K reads!!!! tbh I didn't even think that story would even get 2 or 300 reads much less 3K!!! Thanks for being such amazing readers!!!

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