Finding Love

Chapter 13

Taylor's POV

"Louis please sit down!" I yelled. It had been a consecutive five minutes of me trying to get Louis to sit down so that I could tell him about Niall, and him trying to leave so we could get Nandos. 

"Gosh fine!" Louis threw his hands up in the air in mock annoyance and fell into my couch. He looked up at me with expectant eyes, "What's up?"

I took a deep breath as I thought about how I would tell Louis about Niall. I knew that he wouldn't care who I dated, but I think he'll be angry that I kept it a secret. Louis and I are really close, always have been. And the fact that I've been keeping this huge part of my life a secret from him will probably be heartbreaking. I can only hope that he won't care or will find a way to forgive me. 

"First off I want you to know that I'm sorry. I've been keeping a secret from you, a pretty big one at that, and I feel awful about it. So once I tell you, if you could please forgive me then everything will be fine." I choked out the last part as I in visioned the worst possible outcome. I pictured Louis being disgusted with me and not wanting to be friends with me anymore. The thought alone made me feel sick to my stomach. As the thoughts raced through my mind all I wanted him to do was look me in the eye and tell me that 'everything is fine.'

Louis face looked scared, panicked even. His reaction made me even more worried for when I told him the news. If this is how he's reacting now, I can't even picture how he'll react after I tell him. 

"You're kinda scaring me Tay. What's going on-did something happen?" Louis stood up and gave me a hug to express his concern for me. I quickly wrapped my arms around him, giving him a squeeze, then pulled out of our loving embrace. 

"No no, it's nothing bad, it's the opposite actually. I'm happy. Like actually really happy for the first time in forever-"

"ITS A BOY ISNT IT?!" Louis' face brightened up like a kids on Christmas morning. 

"How did you know?" I questioned, taking a step back from him. 

"I could tell by that smile." Louis said with a triumphant smirk, "So who is it? Is it someone I know? Can I meet him?" Louis jumped up and face me huge smile. 

"Listen Lou, I would love, more than anything else for you to meet him, but I don't think you'll like who I'm talking about." I looked down at the ground, suddenly finding my converse very interesting. 

"Oh my god. It's Niall isn't it?" Louis took a step away from and gave me a look of shock and disappointment. "He's a dirtbag, how could you? And after what he did to you at lunch? He's a total jerk!" Louis started rambling off the things that he hated about Niall and reasons I shouldn't be with him. I couldn't believe him, why is he acting this way? I know that Niall was mean at first, but Louis is overreacting. This is my life, not his. And if I love Niall then that's my problem, not his. 

"Your overreacting." I stated my thoughts. "This is my problem, you just need to be happy for me, can't you do that? Or are you going to continue throwing a tantrum like a child? I'm happy for the first time in forever CANT YOU JUST BE HAPPY FOR ME?" I yelled louder than I wanted to. 

I covered my face with my hands in aggravation before looking back at Louis to see him smiling. Smiling? Why in the hell is he smiling? Out of all the possible times to smile he is smiling right now, at a time like this. God I need to get that boy checked out. 

"Why are you smiling you weirdo?" I questioned, trying not to smile. 

"Because you're crazy! And it's adorable that you got so mad at me over Niall of all people." Louis gave me a softer smile and came closer to me. "I don't care that you like him, all that I care about is that your happy and if he makes you happy, I guess I'll have to live with it." Louis pulled me into a bear hug and kissed the top of my head. "Taylor Johnson you are so in love it's going to drive me crazy." Louis laughed. 

I couldn't help but blush as Louis said the words. I am in love. For the very first time I am head over heals in love, and unlike most, I'm scared. What is love? Is this feeling even love? Or is it just the feeling of something knew that won't last? I'm scared that this feeling I love is going to end and it don't want that. I'm in love and I feel like no matter what I do I'm screwed. I don't want that, I'm in love and scared.  

What's going to happen?

Does he even love me?

All that I have are questions and no answers. 

What is this? What's going to happen? Am I going to be happy? 

Or is this happiness just temporary?