Finding Love

Chapter 25

I thought i was happy, i thought being with Niall would make everything better. But it didn't do much. I still feel out of place, almost alone in a way. But i know i have Niall, but i just can't bring myself to be happy with him. And i know it selfish because she is completely in love with me. And that's why i'm unhappy because i can't love him the way he loves me. I thought after everything with Bianca was over that we could just go back to the way we use to be, the way i use to be. But i can't, because i still have this feeling that i'm about to mess everything up. And on the way i'm acting with Niall, i know he knows something is up. I tried telling Louis, but i just can't get the words out, i feel like i have to vomit every time i start to think about it, thinking about telling Niall that i don't love him as much as he does, and that i'm not truly happy. I thought maybe i could hide it, and just not ell anyone, but i feel as if i would just be lying to myself and i can't do that. Because i wouldn't be just lying to myself, i would be lying to everyone. 

I love him, i know i do. But he deserves someone like him: someone popular, sweet and beautiful, everything i am not. He is too amazing to be with someone like me. I have too many problems, I am nothing compared to the man he is, the man he is going to be. He is the reason why i believe people can be good. And good people like him just have also good people in there life's. I have to tell Niall, but just something about the timing is probably going to hurt him more. 

"What are you thinking out?" Louis questioned, as he sat next to me at our lunch table. We now decided it would be better if we sit around people, because we shouldn't be anti-social, plus Louis only wants to sit over here so he could watch Harry eat from across the room and not across the quad. Niall and Liam had a football game so they wouldn't be joining us for lunch, which is good on my part, because honestly i don't want to act happy right now. 

"Nothing important, girly drama." I said, shoving few chips into my mouth, hoping it would give me time not to talk to Louis, who wasn't even paying attention anymore, because Zayn and Harry were making their way toward us. 

"Hey Guys." Zayn said, placing his tray down. " Have any of you guys talk to Liam today?" He questioned. 

"Trouble in paradise, all ready man." Louis smirked, starring at Harry, very much out in the open. Not caring if people thought it was a little weird. But Harry didn't mind, he was starring right back. 

"What's wrong Zayn?" I questioned, truly caring plus i just didn't want them to question me about Niall. 

"Just some stuff went down at his house yesterday, and i'm hoping he isn't mad." Zayn said rather fast for my liking, but i just let it slide, truly not caring. 

"Oh Look it's the loser clan." I heard behind me, and with all the shit going on in my life, i truly didn't want to deal with Bianca and her bitches right now. 

"Gosh, look who it is the huge slut and all her little bitches." Harry said standing up, and walking toward them," Here to try and break some couples up, with your pregnant ass." Harry laughed turning around and walking back to the table. And with all the luck i have from the corner of my eye, i saw Niall and Liam making their way over to us, in all their football stuff. 

"What's going on?" Liam questioned as he neared us. 

"Nothing much, Payne. Just came over to thank Zayn for the other night." Bianca smirked, walking over to Zayn and kissing his cheek. But not in the way a person would be doing if they were trying to thank someone. 

"Thanks Zayn, very very much." She said and with that she walked away. Liam's face dropped, his eyes were starting to tear and you could literally see his heart breaking in half. 

I watched as he ran for the door, not a care in the world as who was watching him, he just ran. He was out the door before any of us could move. 

"I wil go get him, i will be back. Don't worry everything will be fine. Li will be fine." Zayn said running out the door right after Liam. It was strange how one minute everything is fine and then the next everything is a huge question mark. 

"Babe can we talk? Like right now?" Niall questioned, moving toward the door. Not knowing how to get out of this i get up and walked toward Niall, and without a second thought he grabbed my hand and intertwined our hands. And that's when i knew, he was too good for me. 

Remember when you were younger and you really wanted a puppy, so your parents took you to the pund to picl out the perfect puppy. But they were all just so perfect, you just couldn't choose which one to get because you thought if you picked one, the other puppies would be sad. But then you finally found the "perfect" one, and decided to take it home. Niall was my puppy, i found the perfect one. He was my perfect one. But remember when you were younger and you finally get the puppy you alway wanted, but then a month later when life is going crazy and you are growing up and just forgot all about the "perfect" puppy. That's the moment i'm talking about. Niall is just too good for me. And i'm still growing up. I'm still trying to figure out life. And Niall doesn't need me. Niall is my puppy, my too good and too "perfect" puppy. My puppy. 

"Huh? What did you say? What i'm i?" Niall questioned, very much confused. So at that very moment i knew i had too choices. I could pretend that i didn't say anything and pretend everything is okay or i could tell Niall the puppy story and break up with the love of my life.

I had to choice and i knew it wasn’t going to be easy. I knew that i was going to have trouble choosing, because i love him. 

I have have to choose…

Zayn’s P.O.V-

I ran for the exit like it was going to be the last thing i was going to do. I ran like there was no tomorrow. I ran for the love of my life and Liam was the love of my life. He was the reason i am breathing. He is my life. He is my love. 

I ran down the halls with only one thought in mind: where is Liam? I was running down the hall when i passed my locker. I didn’t think about checking my locker first but i should have. I should have gone for my locker first because taped to my locker was a note from the love of my life. 

Zaynie,

Meet me on top of the roof right after lunch. Because we need to talk, well not talk more like make out, but i’m going to put talk because what if some strange person is reading this, then this would be super weird, but anyway meet me on top of the roof, be there our be square. 

I love you. 

-Li

And there is was the answer to all my questions, the answer that popped in to my mind like no one business. In this very moment reading this note, i knew right then and there, 

I wanted to marry Liam Payne. I was going to marry Liam Payne.