Sanders Sides One Shots: Volume 2 [COMPLETED]

Emotional Emo Cuddles (Prinxiety)

June 22nd, 2018

This may have been inspired by Pray For the Wicked's release and my actual emotions toward this song...

Roman's POV:

I was in a pretty good mood on this Thursday night. My boyfriend was more excited than usual, seeing as Panic! At The Disco was releasing their new album at midnight apparently. He'd been freaking out about it all day. I hadn't intended to stay up that late, but there was this idea that I had to make sure I had written down before I went to bed. 

I was on my back from the kitchen, getting a drink of water before bed when I heard sniffling and crying coming from Virgil's room. 

Alarm shot through me as I quickly knocked on the door gently. I opened it without waiting for a response, simply knocking to let him know I was coming in. "Virgil?! Are you alright, sweetheart?" I asked, eyes wide as I took him in. 

His eye shadow was running down his cheeks along with black stained tears as he sobbed. He was practically shaking as he continued to cry. I rushed to his side, grabbing his hand. "Baby, what's wrong?" I questioned, worried sick about what could possibly make him this emotional. "Are you alright?"

"Y-Yes, it's j-just-" Virgil paused as he fanned his eyes and looked up at me. It was then that I realized he was wearing his headphones, a detail I had overlooked when I was panicking over whether or not he was okay. "This- this s-song... oh my g-god... It's so b-beautiful- It has to be about R-Ryan, it has to- it makes too much sense- god it's so beautiful and I just can't!"

More tears rolled down his cheeks as he continued to listen to it. I was at a loss for words or how to respond to his meltdown. He slowly took off his headphones and handed them to me. "H-Here, listen."

I gave him a raised eyebrow look, but his wide, glossy eyes were enough to convince me to take them from him. I slipped them over my ears as he hit play on the song. I immediately recognized Brendon Urie's voice, realizing that this must be from the new album. I was surprised by the softness of the song, feeling myself relax into the sound of it. It was absolutely astonishing. When the song concluded, I took the headphones off and nodded with a sympathetic smile toward my still emotional boyfriend.

"It's beautiful," I said, smiling as he sighed in relief that I liked it. I set the headphones and his phone to the side to lay next to him and pull him close to me as he continued to sniffle. "What about it made you cry so much? Yeah, it's kinda solemn, but you were literally sobbing. I was scared you were hurt or something."

His head was on my chest as he curled into me. "I-It's a little complicated, Princey," he said with a sigh. 

"Well, explain it to me," I replied, keeping my voice soft as I tried to lull him to sleep. I was hoping him talking about the topic would make him more tired.

Virgil took a deep breath before he began. "You see, back when Panic! first formed... there were other members besides Brendon," he explained, voice also soft. I could tell he was getting sleepier, which was good. He'd stayed up until midnight to listen to the new album, and then sobbed his eyes out. He had to be tired from all the crying. "One of them was named Ryan Ross... he was the original singer of the band before they learned Brendon could sing and he got sick, and it's a little bit of a mystery how exactly they came to decide that Brendon would sing instead of Ryan, but the point is that they were very close; too close to simply be friends. Ryan would write the words and Brendon would try to be his voice the best he could, and on stage they would mess with each other. They would lean into each other's personal space, flirt, and on the extremely rare occasion, they would actually kiss..."

"Wow..." I whispered to show I was still listening despite feeling my eyelids drooping. Virgil's breathing was getting slower as he spoke. "They sound like they were very in love..."

I felt him nod. "But that's just the thing... as much as they said they weren't, it all feels too suspicious and perfect to be fake... and then Ryan left..." he murmured, clearly saddened by this fact. "They had written lyrics that seemed to be about the other, where Ryan was the sun, and Brendon was the moon, and the metaphor stuck around after the split but became more depressing... other than that, it feels like some of the songs Brendon writes now are about him..."

"Like that one?" I ask, yawning slightly.

"Yes... that one..." he mumbled. I smiled in content that he was getting heavier on my chest. There were more gaps between his words as he got sleepier. "It sounds like... he's remembering when... Ryan and he started out... Ryan becoming one of the stars of Panic!... becoming known in LA... and now no one knows him..."

I frowned a little. "That... that does make sense... and that's really sad," I commented quietly. Virgil nodded a little with a sad sigh. He still wasn't quite asleep, so I tried to recall the first part of the song. It was a talent I had thanks to being in the mindscape. I could recall any song I'd ever heard at will even if I'd only heard it once. 

"The moment you arrived, they built you up, the sun was in your eyes, you couldn't believe it..." I sang softly as I reached up to run my fingers through his hair. "Riches all around, you're walking, stars are on the ground, you start to believe it..."

I felt him exhale, a small, pleased sound coming from him as I sang him even closer to sleep. "Every face along the boulevard is a dreamer just like you. You looked at death in a tarot card and you saw what you had to do," I continued, looking down at his peaceful face with a smile. His tears had dried, leaving noticeable tracks on his cheeks, but he'd stopped crying nonetheless. "But nobody knows you now, when you're dying in LA, and nobody owes you now, when you're dying in LA. When you're dying in LA... When you're dying in LA... The power, the power, the power... Oh the power, the power, the power, of LA..."  

Virgil's breathing was deep and even, and the weight of him on me was heavy from him being finally asleep. I smiled in satisfaction, pulling a blanket over us as I continued to run my fingers through my hair and fell asleep myself.