Sorry, We Suck.

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"A-And Remember when you said, 'When we get to this photo shoot you better fuck their bass player and get over Max'?" I was still laughing at my horrible luck.

"Yes." Mandy seethed. She wasn't too happy about her kissing scene with Ronnie.

"Hey, if all else fails, I'll kiss Ronnie." I said seriously. I felt sincerely bad that they had to kiss. They just broke up. If I had to kiss Max, I would probably be really depressed or pissed off, either one. Because it's like pouring salt on an open wound. You can't do that shit. "I've kissed him before, and it means nothing to either of us. I think." I rambled on to her.

"What?!" She shrieked. "You two what?!" Maybe I shouldn't have said that.

"It was several months before he ever met you, so don't worry. Like I said, I think it doesn't mean anything." I said, and her face seemed to relax quite a bit.

"What do you mean by, you THINK it doesn't mean anything?" She said, jealousy dripping out of her voice. Oh my god, she still likes him.

"I meant something to him." I looked at my feet. The shiny black material had a reflection of my sad face in them. Ronnie was so hurt when he heard that I had still loved Max. I wonder if Max will ever know that despite how much I hate him, that hate will never reach how much I love him. And how 'In love' I am with him isn't going to change. According to everyone who thinks they know our relationship. "But then he met you." She smiled softly at that.

"What happened?"

"Well, back when I was going through anorexia," I said, forgetting purposely to mention that my anorexia was still around, "Ronnie took me to the hospital when I passed out, he knew before Max even what my problem was. He knows all of my problems without having to even be told, which is annoying, yet nice when you need help but don't realize it." Mandy smiled and nodded.

"He's always like that."

"Yeah." I grinned. "He's the best, best friend you could ever ask to have. He took me to the hospital, and not only knew my secret but tried to help me hide it from everyone. He was the only one that understood what it was like to need help, but not want the publicity of asking for it."

"Because he has been through this whole drugs thing a thousand times." She said, shaking her head. "They are always there, and he keeps denying it."

I nodded my head, knowing that that's the truth. Ronnie and Max think they're fine. They keep denying that it isn't okay. It really isn't okay. I'm worried as fuck about Max, because he's so drugged out he can't call, and he's so drugged out he's not the same person. It's horrifying. "Ronnie took me on tour with him and Max, it was his idea otherwise Max probably wouldn't have dragged me along. Max never makes me do things I don't want to, even if those things are good enough, whereas Ronnie will. He may not make me tell everyone, but he will however make me get help."

"He's a good guy." Mandy nodded.

"And you still love him." I smiled knowingly at her.

"I'm in love with who he used to be, yeah. I've got the same situation with Ronnie as you and Max have."

"These situations are irrelevant now." I shrugged. "Considering they don't mean anything anymore."

"Right." Mandy nodded. "They don't mean anything, and neither does love."

This doesn't mean anything, and neither does love.

and If you don't get it, read the line above.

I said I loved you, and then you changed,

funny how it turned out this way.

Lyrics flashed into my head again. We were on the airplane flying out to whatever state Lacey said Avenged Sevenfold was in. I was excited to do a photo shoot with them. Not so excited to do a photo shoot and a music video with Escape The Fate. Quickly I reached for a pencil out of my carry on bag and grabbed my lyrics note book as well. I scratched it down on a fresh piece of paper and jammed it back into my purse.

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