We All Have Daddy Issues (Max Green)

The Montage Of A Lifetime

The Montage Of A Lifetime.

It’s December 31st, and I guess I’m spending the night alone. Most people think there’s nothing magical about 11/11 or about New Year’s Eve, but I’m one of those strange people who believes in things like fate, chance, and in celebrating new year’s eve. I was planning on having a party. Yet, like I said, I am all alone.

“Hello?” I dialed the number that my cellphone wasn’t familiar with. It was grey’s. I had debated on how soon I should call him. Now is probably the right time considering I need someone to talk to and all my other friends are unavailable/hate me.

“Hey, who’s this?” A calm voice asks. Yup, that is Grey.

“It’s Siggah.”

“Hey! How’s Vegas, love?” He asked.

“Vegas is Vegas. How’s LA?” I laughed. What’s he mean how’s Vegas?

“It’s all good here. But that’s not what I meant, I meant how’s your boyfriend situation?”

“It is excellent, actually, my boyfriend found my drugs and went ballistic, and told me to go the fuck away, so I’m staying in Vegas for the rest of their tour. Oh, and his best friend, the lead singer, thinks he’s in love with me, but I told him to stop saying that because of who his friend was. And we only broke up 6 hours ago, how could he already be making a fucking move? That’s crappy. I still have major feelings for Max, but what sucks is I don’t want to lose him, or any of the guys for that matter and they’re gone after tonight. All because I’m severely fucked up as a person.”

“You’re an odd one.” Grey speculated, and then he coughed. “Sorry cigarette, but as I was saying, you are very strange in the fact that you pretend not to need other people in your life, but you can’t let the ones that you accidentially let into it go. You’re sort of clingy in a way, and very fast paced in relationships. I’ve known you for a day, and you’re talking to me like I’m your best friend.”

“I have very few friends.” I admitted.

“Well, even if everyone else is leaving you, I’m still here. I may not be there, but I’m here for you to talk to.”

“You’re an exceptionally good friend.”

“No, I just tell the truth.”

“Then it’s surprising we get on so well, because I hate people who tell the truth.”

“Maybe you’re just completely wrong about who you are.” Grey said, and I heard a doorbell ring on his end. “Well, I’ll talk to you later.” He said, and then he hung up.

I hope you’re right about me Grey. I hope you’re right about me being wrong about myself, because I’d love it if all that I knew just wasn’t true. Yet if I hoped that the way I saw myself was false, If I’d vie for a lie, then that’s just proving what I already know. I really really hate the truth, the reality, the actuality of things though I knew that they were what was real. What I’m trying to say is that I’m a walking paradox. If I hoped I was wrong about being right, I’d be right about how I was so wrong.

Oh don’t listen to me, I just did heroine. I’m high as fuck.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>JANUARY >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

How do I describe my life without Escape The Fate? It’s not the same, but in the month or so that they’ve been gone I’ve been so much more into my own music. It’s great. Also, I talk to Grey on a daily basis. Sometimes we Skype each other, and things have been going really great lately for both of us. His other brother just got out of Rehab and he says that he can afford to go back and forth to Las Vegas a few times a year. Last week I applied for a Bartender position at Nightlife, and got hired. I’m still working at the Marquee until next week when my two weeks’ notice is up. I’m so happy to be back at Nightlife, as much as the other girls didn’t bother with me, I like the guys that work there, and I probably would have of made friends with a few of them had I not been so antisocial. At the Marquee everyone was very… whore-like. The girls were all, well, more than half of them probably had at least one STD, if not more. I am ashamed to have such sleazy coworkers.