One Hell Of A Life

chapter four: uncontrollable.

Em POV:

Tell me I'm crazy.

I'm going to my brother's fight. I'm going to my brother - who I haven't spoken to in over a year - I'm going to his fight. Why am I doing this?

Well, it's too late to fucking back out now, isn't it?

I went with Manny. He promised to keep me away from the hustle of the Sidemen, the loudness of Gee's competitiveness, and the nerve racking atmosphere of thousands of fans.

It was a safe bet, really - Manny doesn't drink, meaning he could still drive us back. Neither of us like attracting much attention, and he had a spare ticket. So, I thought: Why not? I fancy seeing Max get knocked out, and I won't be able to cope with the shit internet connection at home to watch on my laptop - what with the constant buffering.

And, I must admit, I was nervous as hell for Jide. But aside from that, he could not see me. He just couldn't. Because never mind Joe Weller; it would be me that he'd be after.

After Googling multiple times what people wear to boxing matches, and then asking myself why I didn't just text Freya, I found myself slipping my heels on.

Both of my tattoos were very much on show.

Oh, yeah, just before Christmas of 2017, I picked up a rib tattoo of flowers. Personally, I think it's cute.

I had scraped my messy, frizzy mop of hair back into an effortless bun. Literally - zero effort. But it looked cool, so I went with it. Red lips and eyeshadow done by the beauty queen herself - Talia Mar.

"Are you sure about this?" She asked, swiping jet black eyeliner over my lids.
"Oh, hell no. But I'm going to go anyway." I replied.
"You're mad." Talia's eyes widened.
"I know." I nodded in agreement.
"What if he sees you?"
"He won't."
"I don't know about this, Emmy..."
"Then wipe this fucking makeup off my face and I won't go!" I snapped.

After a few seconds, I apologised:
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay. Just promise me one thing." Talia looked me dead in the eye.
"What?"
"Don't drink."
"You know my lips haven't met an alcoholic beverage since 2016. I'm not allowed stimulants." My head tipped sideways in confusion. "So why would I have a drink?"
"I don't know. JJ wins. You go to the after party-"
"Fam, even if I was on good terms with him, I still wouldn't go to the after party. I would panic or get anxious at the least."

Talia chuckled to herself, "You're like Freezy when you get drunk."
"So I go absolutely bonkers, yeah?" I tried to hide my smile by frowning; pretending to be offended.
"You both are way worse than bonkers." She elaborated, completely serious.
"I don't know weather that's a compliment or not." I smirked.
"In most cases, it's not - no." She answered.
"Well, cheers anyway." I rolled my eyes, grabbing a red lipstick and walking over to my mirror.

"Hey, good job!" I checked my makeup out in the mirror. "Shit, I have cheekbones. Hi, there. Never met you before."
"You make me cringe, sometimes, Emilohi." Talia shook her head and giggled slightly, before adding: "Just like your oldest brother."

But I pretended I didn't hear the last part. I had enough on my mind about JJ in general, never mind our alikeness.

"I guess I'm giving you a lift to the Sidemen house?" Talia smiled knowingly.
"You're like a mind reader." I pointed at her, however my mouth was full of strawberry laces that I'd grabbed from our local Tesco before heading to my flat.
"Em! You'll rub your lipstick off!" She exclaimed, ripping the sweet treat out of my grasp and out of my mouth.
"Hey! I can always put more on, can I not?" I pointed out.
"Well, yeah, but I want some." Talia took a delicate bite from the strawberry string; baring her teeth so her lipstick didn't get smudged. "Some that's not full of lipstick, either."

Still looking in the mirror, I slightly adjusted my top, ensuring that the main part of my chest scar was hidden.
"You look beautiful." Talia complimented, adjusting her own clothing. "Now, let's go to the Sidemen House, meet the dudes, and freaking go!"

As I locked up, I thought about the worst possible outcomes.

JJ looses.
He notices me.
Everybody questions me.
I have a panic attack.

...To name a few. But, just when the key turned in the lock and clicked, I remembered: "Fuck it."

And who told me that?

Why, my eldest sibling, of course. How ironic.

-

I saw the ref waving his arms around between Joe and JJ.
I saw Joe's nose, lips and chest bloodied.
I saw JJ jump up and down triumphantly, and almost everyone run towards him.

I heard Gee yelling.
I heard Vidal screaming.
I heard the slap of Geordie's hand on the table; as the fight was over.

And I felt the tears trickle down my face, letting out all of the emotions that I had bottled up in the lead up to that night: worry, anger, love.

I felt Manny's elbow nudge my side.
"You wanna leave now?" He asked, softly, seeing my relieved, but still nervous expression.
"I, erm - I'm good with whatever." I smiled politely.
"Come on. I know a nervous face when I see one. Let's get home." We linked arms, trotting out of the Copper Box Arena, to Manny's car, and drove to the Stratford Halo, where he dropped me off.

"Thank you so much, dude." I leaned over the hand break and hugged him gratefully.
"Hey, it's no problem." Manny insisted. "You want me to walk you in?"
"Nah, I'm good. Cheers, though, for the offer."
"No problem." He smiled as I opened the car door to leave.

"Yo, Em?" Manny called me back, head out of the window.
"What's up?"
"Still up for filming tomorrow?" He grinned widely.
"Of course!" I beamed.
"I'll see you, then." He waved, beginning to drive off.
"Bye, Manny!" I stuck my tongue out and bid him farewell.

As soon as I shut and locked my flat door I slid down it, a wave of relief washing over me.
"Oh, thank God." I whispered to myself, head in my hands. After a few seconds, I got my bearings together and began unzipping the sides of my shoes. Barefoot, I carefully stood up, gaining my balance by holding onto the wall, feeling all jittery inside.

But Jide's words rang in my ears:

"Jake Paul, Logan Paul, any of the Paul's - I don't care, bring it!"

He can't have another fight. He can't. It's stress, like Tobi said, it worries the hell out of everyone.

Even me, his dumbass little sister.

a/n:

thanks for reading! much appreciated.

this is a flashback where emmy experiences the sickening worry of going to watch jj's first boxing match against joe weller.

lee x