One Hell Of A Life

chapter thirty one: a few discussions.

Em POV:

"I've come up with some stuff." I chewed the cuff of my white TGF Childish hoodie.

I'd soon since arrived at the Sidemen House, and was sat in Randolph's room, laid on his bed, facing the ceiling. We'd chosen a beat for the track, however now would be the hard part. Well, for me, anyway.

"Let's see." The northerner held out his hand and I passed him my piece of paper. His eyes skimmed through the few bars that I wrote and as he tried to piece them together, I made conversation.
"JJ's reaction to Deji's song on you wasn't too good, then, huh?" I gulped.
"Oh, uh... Yeah, you could say that." Randolph sighed.
"I don't even want to know what he said to him and Mum and Dad." I raked a hand through my springy hair.
"There was shouting." He didn't look up this time.

We digress, and before long the entire thing is written and recorded and put over a beat. Four hours, no breaks and a bit of Dr. Pepper can do wonders for your reputation.

"Have any ideas for the music video?" Randolph leaned back in his chair as I attempted to balance a pen on my forehead.
"Something, like, cool. I wanna look edgy like Simon did when he filmed his diss track on Dej, but I don't quite fancy going all out KSI I'm the king on everyone." I tipped my head forward, the pen landing in my hands.
"That narrows it down in one way another, I suppose." He shook his head, however laughing.

A knock at the door interrupted our discussion.
"Yo?" I called out.
"Can I come in?" The voice of Kon asked politely.
"Yeah, man, of course." Randolph replied. "We were just in need of you, actually."
"I mean I was asking about what you guys want for dinner, but sure! How may I be of service to you?" Kon settled for a seat on the bed whilst Randolph filled him in on my likes and preferences for a music video.

"What about if we did it on like the road outside here? When it's dark so then it's got that edgy, kind of mysterious feel to it." Kon suggested after a while of thinking. "Maybe get our hands on a smoke machine, could do some shots in the rain..."
"Yo, I like this." I sat forwards eagerly, "But you'll need a lot of lights to be able to see me on camera." The boys chuckled at this remark.

We filmed later on that night, and Kon and Randolph helped me edit the footage. Not to toot my own horn but, like, toot: it was fire.

The three of us showed JJ, Josh and Simon the finished piece.
"That's sick, sis." JJ grasped my hand and pulled me in for a hug.
"Yo, you're getting him with that." Josh chuckled.
"You fucking banged it, Emmy." Simon winked.

"Hey, can I talk to you for a second?" I lightly grasped the wrist of JJ, pulling him aside from everyone in the kitchen.
"Sure." He followed me to the living area, and we sat on the sofa next to each other.
"What's the deal with Dej?" I sighed, hands pinned to my cheeks, mentally exhausted.
"I've offered my apology. He didn't take it. He dropped a track on me instead and bitched about me on Logan's podcast." JJ made clear eye contact with me. "I have made mistakes and I have owned up to them but he won't own up to his, and it's really pissing me off."

"Jide?" I said quietly.
"What?"
"W-Was Mum crying to you? On the phone like Deji said?" I looked up at him. JJ flexed his jaw, annoyed at my query. "Was she?" I repeated, rising to my feet.
"Look, all of what he's saying is bullshit." He followed suit, "You shouldn't be trying so hard to sort everything out, it's not your fight–"
"You're family. Deji's family. I can't possibly not get involved." I shook my head, "And if I can't make anything better, then at least I know that I've done my best to try."
"I just don't want you getting hurt by him, sis. He's made everything that I wanted to be private, public. It's bare disrespect." JJ took me in his arms, pulling me closer than he ever had before.
"I'll be okay." I whispered into his shoulder.

Later on that night, after I'd got back home, I called up Deji.
"Hey." I said after he picked up.
"What's up?" He sighed.
"Look, Deji, I just wanted to speak to you about–"
"Me and JJ aren't brothers anymore, Em."

These words made my head go fuzzy, and made my stomach do several flips.
"No, it's okay, you two can make up and everything..."
"Emmy, I'm sorry, but he's going to have to work his ass off if he wants to get back in my life. He's just, he's just pure evil." Deji spat.
"He's family, Deji. He's our brother." I put a hand to my forehead.
"He's not my brother! Why can't you see how horrible he is? JJ doesn't give a fuck about us, Em, and I don't know how you can be so fucking blind!" He went on.

"You have to listen to me, Deji. It's not as serious as you're both making it out to be. You've made just as many mistakes as JJ has." I chewed on my nail, fighting back tears.
"Are you fucking serious, Emmy?" Deji raised his voice.
"I didn't call you to have an argument, bro." I flexed my jaw.
"Then you shouldn't have called me at all." He grumbled.
"I'm trying my best to stand a middle ground, okay? I'm trying to fix everything. I don't want another argument that shreds us to pieces, especially so close to Christmas..." My voice broke as I wiped a tear away.

"Well, you're just making it worse." He snapped.
"Deji–" He cut me off.
"I don't want to hear anything more from you about 'fixing' shit. JJ is manipulating you - are you that retarded that you can't see it?"

At that point, I had to hang up. I didn't want to stoop to his level. I had already spoken to JJ about it all that day, and I wanted Deji's input, as the pair of them were coming out with different stories.

And I didn't know who to believe.

I was just stuck in the middle. Helpless.

Yet, I couldn't help but smile at how similar they both sounded. Ironically, they were both telling me to stay out of it, however Deji, at this point, had made two videos about JJ: a diss track, and my brother KSI, and JJ had published to my bro deji, but had since deleted it.

Now, what the actual fuck do I do?

a/n:

only a week late with uploading...

oops.

it's taken me a while to write and perfect this chapter because of the whole jj and deji beef going on, and i wanted to keep this thing as up to date as possible :)

thank you for reading,

lee x