One Hell Of A Life

chapter forty three: look at me now.

Em POV:

One day when I was a teenager, I remember walking home from school in a big group of mates, and then having to branch off from them to dawdle alone to my own house. I'm pretty sure that I was fifteen at the time - final year of secondary school.

It was a warmish September evening; I got in at 4:30pm.
"You took your time, Emmy!" Mum called, probably hearing the front door go, exposing my presence.
"Got held back for a bit," I replied, peeling away my uncomfortable blazer from my body and hanging it on the coat stand, "had to discuss some stuff with one of my teachers."

"What did they want?" Her face came into my vision as I entered the kitchen.
"P.E. needed to know weather I was fit to do the practical bits that go towards my final grade." I made myself a drink, "I told them that I'm alright - as long as it's no contact sports."
"Good girl." Mum nodded in approval.

I feel like, if I didn't have a pacemaker or had the hole in my heart when I was young, I'd be an entirely different person. I knew - deep down - that I couldn't make it pro with football, because there were just too many risks. And it hurt like hell, because that would've been my first choice of career.

It was shit, because I felt like I was delicate. Very, very fragile - and before each match, my coach would chat to the opposing team's manager and tell them to go easy on me with the tackles and attempts to win the ball. I never wanted to be seen as someone who needed constant care - which used to be the case.

"Are JJ and Simon anywhere?" I asked nobody in particular.
"No - they're making a video, they said." Mum answered.
"Dej in his room?" I assumed.
"He's at his friend's place."
"Damn! He finally left the house, huh?"
"Hey!" She chuckled, "You didn't say that, okay?"
"What would he do if he heard me? Let's be real, Mum; he may be older and taller but his ass would still get whooped." I raised a brow, shrugging as I took a sip of my water, leaving Mum in fits of laughter.

At this stage in time, Deji had well surpassed two million subs, and JJ was more or less at seven million. I think I had hit 500k by then.

It's mad that that was just over five years ago. I was only fifteen.

The boys had their fame - JJ, especially, having already moved out - and they knew how to handle it. I knew that following in their footsteps was the right decision for me; it was my passion, and I loved to be creative.

The trouble was - I'd always be KSI's little sister.

I made it my mission, one day, to be more successful than Jide and Dej. Not out of competition, not out of greed, not to prove anything. I was just desperate to make a name for myself, rather than JJ and Deji having to make a name for me. I am my own person, and it's not that I didn't want to be linked with them, either, because they're family. I love them. But I couldn't be their baby sister anymore. I was growing, maturing, changing. I wanted to change the world.

But, back then when I was barely getting 200k views per video, the chances seemed slim. Very, very slim. However, watching my brothers clear the path for me, I fought for my place in the - at the time - smallish YouTube community.

Now, my subscriber count is on an almighty 17.4 million. I am the most subscribed to female YouTuber in the UK, and the third most subscribed to female YouTuber in the world. On average, I receive 11 million views per video.

I've given millions of pounds to charity and to my fans in need. I did a whole video once, dedicated to donating money to my followers on a discord server. I put thousands towards cars, wiped people clean of debt, and PayPal'd a teenager a tenner for a taxi home from town.

I've always felt that it's important to give back to those who support you, because without them, I'd be nothing.

a/n:

sorry for the short chapter, but thank you for 9k! and we've surpassed 200 votes which is nuts! the support has been crazy lately, and i really appreciate it.

so, just a heads up - i will be quite inactive over the next three (ish) weeks as i have a couple of exams coming up that i need to prepare for and then sit. i know that i upload quite irregularly anyway, but when it comes to following people back and replying to comments, things will be quite slow unfortunately.

while i was away we were 4th in #miniminter, and our highest ranking is now 1st in #tbjzl. thank you so much!

thank you for reading,

lee x