One Hell Of A Life

chapter twenty three: starbucks chat.

Em POV:

"Hey, Phil!" I hugged my best friend.
"Hi! How's it going, Em?" He obliged to the embrace.
"I'm great, thank you. Yourself?" I replied, stepping inside the house.
"Amazing." Phil smiled.
"Awful pun, by the wa-"

I'd barely stepped inside when Phil ushered me back out of their apartment all of a sudden.
"Woah, what's the deal?" I frowned, watching the raven haired giant grab his coat and close the door.
"Long story short - Dan met a girl while we were in Birmingham. She likes him. He likes her. Bam." He slapped his hands together.
"So is she here? Like, now?" I motioned back to their front door.
"Yeah - they're kissing! Gross."

"Why'd you chuck me out?" I asked.
"I didn't know what to do! I felt like I was third wheeling, so badly. I felt a little left out, too." Phil sighed as we exited the apartment building.
"Oh, Phil." I attempted to sling an arm around his shoulder. Due to his height, I failed miserably. "Dan cares about you unreal amounts. He would never neglect you - this is just new for him and for you."

He nodded.
"No, of course. I was probably just overreacting-"
"You weren't, trust me. It was Hell for me when Simon and Talia first got together. My two best friends sort of left me out. Obviously it was never intentional; I felt like I was a shite person for thinking like that. But, it turns out that they just loved each other." I looked up at the dark sky as we begun our short walk to the corner Starbuck's.

It was one of those unspoken things, I guess, that we both knew where we were going.

"Em?" Phil started after a few comfortable moments of silence.
"Yes?" I looked in his direction.
"D-Do you still, y'know, like Simon?" He questioned. I could tell in his voice that he didn't want to ask the question, but he needed to know the answer.
"I guess so." I answered quietly.
"Talk to me about it." Phil offered, sensing that I needed to tell someone about my feelings.

My eyes met his, and I smiled gratefully.
"I'll never get the balls to ask him out." I sighed, annoyed at myself. "He's a caring guy, and he deserves the best."
"So why not just talk to him about it?" Phil furrowed his brows.
"My brother's his best friend. That's the first problem. Second of all - what if he doesn't like me back and things get awkward? What if JJ gets angry at him for liking me; and that's if he even does." I rolled my eyes feeling sorry for myself, kicking a stone in frustration.

"Don't get upset about it." Phil side hugged me, speaking softly.
"I'm n-not." I sniffed. "It's just-"
"Em. Listen to me - time is key. It's not been long since you walked in on Talia and Duncan doing, y'know, the no-pants-dance." He began. I chuckled ever so slightly at his remark.

"But it's been over four months Phil!" I wined.
"Look - I wouldn't be surprised if Simon's still a bit shaken up by it; trying to get over Talia." He rubbed my back.
"He loved her." I muttered, almost going unheard. He carried on:
"But time's a healer, Em, and he will realise soon that he's better off without her. Weather that's in a couple of weeks, a few months, or maybe an entire year, things will change - they always do." Phil continued.
"Thank you." I whispered.

I never usually share my feelings with anyone. I've always felt that it's a sign of weakness - even as a kid. Freya and Saz call me crazy, say that I'll get isolated if I never open up. That's why I have my anxiety, because I never told anyone what was the matter when I was sad or bothered, and I never asked for advice, so I worked myself up about it. But day by day, I open up a little more; creating my channel helped me with that, surprisingly. I mean, after the first few years of posting videos, anyway.

"It's my duty as your best friend to not only comfort you, but to order and pay for your Starbucks, too." Phil gently took the subject out of the conversation.
"I'll give you the money, Phil. Here-"
"You'll do no such thing!" He wafted the coins that I was holding away. "Green tea frappuccino?"
"You got it." I grinned, my shoulders slumping a little in relaxation.