~ a lily among thorns~

"i could die for this"

Nari stared at the blue and white outfit in front of her.

'I must be crazy,' she scolded to herself and took it down from the hanger. 'I can't believe I'm doing this.'

She let off a weary sigh and draped the Hwarang uniform around her small body. After a few adjustments, she tied up the waist belt and sat on the ground.

'I could die for this...,' she thought as she inhaled a deep breath. 'If the queen found out I was a girl, she'd probably execute me on the spot.'

Images of swords and blood clouded Nari's mind. She shook her head to clear them away.

'No one is going to find out. And I've trained so hard in martial arts over the last month. It took me forever to convince the guy to let me join Hwarang as well. Pull yourself together! It can't be that hard to act like a man...I'm pretty sure males aren't talkative beings so everything will be fine...right?'

She smacked her face in discontent.

'I have to do this...for mother.'

With that in mind, Nari pulled her hair onto the top of her head and tied it into a neat bun. She stretched a black headband around her forehead, and then pulled over a bucket of water to look at her reflection.

'Perfect.'

Poong-yeon appeared in the doorway.

"Nari! How come you get to be a Hwarang? I was the one that wanted to," he whined, staring at her uniform.

Nari frantically shushed him with her finger.

"Keep it down!" she hissed. "If anyone hears...I might disappear forever."

Poong-yeon frowned.

"Like mother?" he asked croakily.

Nari's eyes fell to the ground in sadness. She reflected on his question for only a moment, before pretending to ignore it and putting on a smile.

"How do I look?" she questioned, standing from her spot on the floor and patting down the creases in her wear. "Manly?"

Poong-yeon giggled at his older sibling.

"It looks like I have a brother," he smiled cheekily. "But I guess it's always looked like that."

"Hey!" Nari laughed, grabbing his arm and knuckling his head. "That's no way to speak to your elders!"

Poong-yeon squealed in delight and pushed his sister's hand from his hair. Nari sighed with happiness and bent down to look him in the eyes.

"Poong-yeon," she said serenely. "I'm leaving now...I don't know when I'll see you again."

Her little brother gulped and his eyes lowered.

"But," Nari continued. "Once I get to the Hwarang house, I'll figure out a place for you to stay. Somewhere close by so I can visit regularly, okay?"

Poong-yeon nodded solemnly.

"Now, stay here until that happens. Don't cause any trouble, and if trouble finds you, go to the woman who owns the store across the street, she's really lovely. I've asked her to watch over you for just tonight, so go get your dinner from her, okay?"

Poong-yeon nodded again. Nari smiled at him contently, before pulling him into a hug.

"Goodbye Poong-yeon," she farewelled.

"Goodbye Nari," he said in return.

They pulled away from each other and Nari stood up. Getting one last look at Poong-yeon, she exited out the door.

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The hot sun was once again blazing down on the city of Silla. The Hwarangs had sweat trickling down their necks as they stood in formation before the queen. One by one, each man was called up to receive his sword and accept the decree. Nari's heart was nearly beating out of her chest as her turn neared.

'It's only five seconds of speaking Nari! Just state your fake name and accept the decree!' she mumbled in panic.

An elbow nudged into her side.

"Ow!" she cried, grabbing her ribs and shooting a look at the Hwarang beside her who had done it.

He looked at her in confusion, staring at her pale young face.

"I didn't hit you that hard! It's your turn to go up," he whispered loudly, eyeing Nari's feminine complexion.

"Oh..." Nari stuttered. "Thank-"

She stopped herself when she realised she was using her normal voice. She cleared her throat and spoke again.

"Thanks," she said again, except with a lower tone and a shrug of the shoulders.

The Hwarang let off an amused grin as he watched her walk to the front.

'Here goes nothing...'

Nari stood before the man who had recruited her, trying to avoid eye contact. He held a sword before her.

"Yi-Hwang," he spoke. "You are inducted into Hwarang of Silla."

He held the sword out for Nari to grab. Nari bowed cautiously, taking the sword from his grasp. She breathed in nervously, clearing her throat to speak.

"Hwarang Yi-Hwang. I shall accept the royal decree."

The man before her nodded and motioned for Nari to go back to her place in the assembly. As she walked, a smug smile formed on her face and she beamed at herself in pride.

'That was a pretty believable man-voice, if I say so myself,' she praised herself with a skip in her step, taking her place back in line.

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Nari's eyes slowly flickered open from her state of sleep. She tried to lift her head, but was met with a throbbing pain. Clenching her teeth in agony, she rested it back on her pillow and sighed.

'Where am I...?'

She was facing a wall, but she could hear the faint breathing of others sleeping behind her. Slowly, she rolled over, only to come face to face with an unconscious man. Her eyes widened with horror and she pushed him off the bed. He landed with a large thump on the ground below. He stirred a bit; letting off a slight groan, but eventually went back to his state of sleep.

Nari began to put together the puzzle pieces about where she was: The Hwarang House.

'But why am I so sore?' she moaned in her mind.

Suddenly, flashbacks of the night before filled her head. She saw herself stumbling around the premises in a drunken mess, picking fights with the other Hwarangs.

'I picked fights with men?!' she screamed internally, bolting upright.

Nari looked around the room. Men were scattered across the beds and floor, fast asleep.

"How am I going to last in here?" she sighed wearily to herself, resting her aching head in her hands.

Slowly, fatigue began to take over, and Nari drifted back to sleep.