~ a lily among thorns~

"I never could"

"Nari."

A voice came from the other side of the room. Nari pushed Poong-yeon behind her quickly as she came eye to eye with the king. She dug her hand into her pocket, feeling for her knife, but regretfully realising she'd misplaced it upon her journey.

"Was this your plan?" she asked dryly. "To have us come here to the palace?"

Ji-Dwi stepped forward, but Nari held up her hand. "Don't come any closer," she demanded. "Don't you remember where we left off from earlier?"

Ji-Dwi stopped, nodding his head. "I remember," he said gently. "And that is why I brought you here."

"So, it was your plan," Nari replied. "Who was the man that led us?"

Ji-Dwi hesitated, clearly torn on whether to answer her question.

"Well?"

The man sighed, taking another step forward. "I only wish to speak with you," he explained. "I'm of no threat to you...or the boy."

"Do you expect me to believe you?" Nari growled, pulling Poong-yeon into her. "After everything I know?"

Ji-Dwi's hurt expression shared his feelings well as he listened to the girl's words. "Nari," he cried, riddled with desperation. "You know me! You know I'd never do anything to harm you!"

Nari tackled with her own emotions, filled with anger and bitterness, but also, to her dismay, love. "Why then?!" she retorted, tears beginning to brim her eyes. "Why then is my mother dead?!"

Ji-Dwi choked on his reply, shamefully resting his head in his hands. "Because," he lamented, struggling to get out the words. He waited for a moment, emotions overwhelming him. "Because...I was a foolish boy who lacked courage to intervene!"

Nari stood silently, watching as the mighty king of Silla broke down weeping before her. Tears rushed down his cheeks like the flowing river near Hwarang, and she was reminded of the good times she'd spent with him there. His sobs tore at her heart, and she suddenly felt overwhelmed with guilt for dragging the fight on so long.

"Why is that man crying?" Poong-yeon asked quietly, pulling on Nari's cloak. "Did he kill Mother?"

Nari slowly looked down at her brother, pain within her eyes. "I-" she began, her voice shaky, "I don't think he meant to."

Poong-yeon thought for a moment, before looking back up at Nari. "I forgive him if he didn't mean to," he said firmly. "Do you forgive him Nari?"

Nari looked at her brother with a baffled expression. "How can you forgive someone so quickly?" she scolded. "Especially for something like that?"

"Because that's what a Hwarang would do," he answered with a puffed-out chest. "And I'm going to be one soon!"

Nari shook her head, before looking back up at Ji-Dwi, who was still visibly upset. The words her brother had uttered were now resonating in her heart.

"Poong-yeon," she finally said softly, "go back downstairs until I come and get you."

"Do I have to?" he asked with a hint of disappointment. "I like looking at this place."

"Yes, you have to," Nari replied. "I'll be there shortly. Go."

The boy huffed, sourly opening the little door and disappearing back down into the underground chamber. Nari watched him leave, making sure he went all the way down before closing the door behind him. Her brother now gone, she slowly turned back towards Ji-Dwi, observing him closely as he tried to collect himself. The girl now took a few steps forward, stopping about a metre before him.

"Look, Ji-Dwi-" she started, but the man held up his hand.

"N-no," he said. "You don't have to say anything. I should be the one talking...apologising."

Nari closed her lips, submitting to his wishes. To be honest, she didn't know what to say anyway. What does one say in a situation of the like?

"The past months we spent together were the hardest I've ever endured," Ji-Dwi began to explain, almost afraid to lift his eyes. "The things you said to me made me feel accepted and cherished. You helped me battle my inner doubts when it came to being king. In fact, you healed so much darkness within me that I was sure about telling you my identity. But then...then I found out about your mission and the horrible things I'd let happen to your Mother. I could hardly live with myself. Here I was...falling in love with a girl who hated me without knowing it. The more I loved you, the harder it was to tell you my secret. As we grew closer, I knew my pit of despair was growing deeper and deeper as well. But I couldn't bring myself to stop loving you, even if it killed me. I knew we were doomed from the start, but I can't stay away from you Nari...I never could."

Ji-Dwi stopped, now forcing his eyes to meet hers.

"My Mother came to get you, and I was determined to hijack her plan...but she hijacked mine and I'll never forgive myself for what happened. I've put you through so much pain, Nari, I know that. I also know you'd rather not see me anymore. But I beg of you, do not forget the times we spent together. We were a team, remember? I love you, Nari. I'll never stop loving you."

Nari sniffed, turning her head away as she covered her mouth with her hand. Ji-Dwi watched her with dying hope as he looked for any small sign of mercy.

"I can't-" Nari cried, suddenly becoming distraught. "I can't just forgive you like that! I mean...my mother is dead. How can I let that go so easily?"

Nari knew too well she wanted to forgive the man, but she still wrestled endlessly with emotions of anger and resentment.

Ji-Dwi nodded, closing his eyes sadly. "I understand," he answered, lowering his head. "Who am I to even expect such a thing? But I'm not asking for your forgiveness."

He lifted his eyes, locking them on Nari. "I'm only asking that you let me help you this one last time."

The girl wiped her face, looking with confusion back at Ji-Dwi. "Help me?" she questioned. "How so?"